Lester Roloffs Rebekah Home for Girls Survivors-Cult-mindcon

[Anne Bonney]

On 2004-04-06 14:58:00, Melanie wrote:


Memories from children, true or false? Who's to know?

This thinking has led to a tremendous amount of harm in the world.  Children abused by teachers, priests, ministers, youth counselors because "children don't know what they're saying, they can't distinguish fantasy from reality."  It's a crock.  Stories of being abused are inherently humiliating to tell.  Why would SO MANY people bring this up if it didn't happen?  People who didn't see it might have done just that -- NOT SEEN IT.  Or they may have an agenda -- look at the poster who wanted to know someone's name so she could REPORT them, for heaven's sake.

Well, one thing is for sure, I would have hated it till the end had I not accepted the LORD to live inside my heart. It made ALL the difference in the world.

The Lord gives us the strength to get through anything if we open ourselves to Him.  The fact that you experienced His grace at Rebekah doesn't meant that it was a good place.  Many people experienced God's grace in concentration camps -- Corrie TenBoom made a living writing and speaking about it.  That doesn't mean they weren't evil.

It IS nessasary to start over fresh every day. It feels good to wipe the slate clean before going to bed at night.

The same is true to let the past stay where it is, in the past.

NO.  You do not wipe the slate clean every night.  Confession and forgiveness are necessary, but not sufficient to salvation.  You must SIN NO MORE.  Abusing children is a sin.  Although I don't agree with him about everything, Pope John Paul II was right when he said it was one of the most grievous sins a person could commit.  It doesn't matter how many times you confess and beg for forgiveness, even mean it, if you go back to that sin again and again and again.  Intimidating other people, trying to avoid the consequences of your actions, those are sins, too.  Even if you stop abusing children, you have an obligation to admit what you did so that the people you abused can get the help and closure they need.

First of all, I too didn't have a period for the entire year I lived at the Rebekah Home. I think this happened because our life styles had changed so dramatically and our hormones where affected from this. Also, most of the food that was prepared for us to consume, were very healthy and good for us. Though, I do remember a lot of starchy foods as well, which is full of carbs, and explains why so many of us gained tons of weight. Too much weight gain or loss, can affect a womans/girls cycle. I for one was quite happy for not having to deal with having a period for a year. Who wouldn't be?

Well, an OB/Gyn wouldn't be, for starters.  What you're describing is called amenorrhea, a medical condition.  Weight gain or loss can cause you to skip a period or two, but not for a whole year.  That's a sign of something more troubling.  Either you were being fed hormones OR you were stressed to the point that your bodies were constantly flooded with adrenalin.  Women fleeing war or living in refugee camps often don't have periods because losing blood/carrying a baby could kill them.  Otherwise, if you go to the doctor and say "I haven't had a period in a year," s/he's gonna be concerned.

YES, THERE WAS A LOCK UP ROOM.

 I spent a week in lock up and I had wackings on my be-hind a few times. Of course it hurt. I think that was the point, but I did not bleed or bruise. I pay attention to detail. Knowing this, it is hard for me to imagine true "abuse" exsisting in that Home. I think I would've noticed. Others would have told me. Wouldn't they?

Striking a child with an object is abuse, period.  Do it more than once and your child will be removed from your home in most states.  Striking teenagers is not only abusive physically, but mentally as well.  Plus it's stupid.  Teenagers may be motivated by humiliation and pain in the short term, but in the long run you get resentment.  If you couldn't recognize that you were being abused, why would you have recognized it happening to someone else?

< The tub didn't work, and I wanted to bathe. That was gross in itself. And, I heard later, that roaches lived in the room and came out at night where we'd sleep on the floor with a single mattress. Yuck. Yuck...There were no windows either. And, when I would sing out loud, (cause I do), "worldly" things,  such as singing popular songs, the lights would be turned off. I had no control over the lights at all.

Again, this is abuse.  Do it to your kids and you'll lose them and (hopefully) go to jail.  Even in the 80s, if you locked your kid in a filthy room with no windows on a single mattress and turned out the lights when the kid tried to comfort himself by singing, you would have had to explain it to a judge.

It is good that you've made peace with your experience.  But others can't.  And when you invalidate their experiences -- waxing rhapsodic about fresh oranges and tanning -- you turn them away.  Did you ever think that maybe some girls from Rebekah came to associate their treatment there with God and decided to have nothing more to do with Him?  Do you think Christ would have approved of these methods?  Anything that stands between people and salvation is just plain wrong, no matter how well intentioned it may be.

 :bump:

[Anne Bonney]

Sorry, I have little patience for overly zealous religious nutbags who think what happened at Roloff's was healthy.

I have less patience for overly zealous victims who call people names just because they don't agree with them. I was in the Lighthouse home, and the City of Refuge, and I was a farm worker, and I'm a member of People's Baptist Church now. What's your experience with the Homes?

None.  What I've read here (edited to add: and research I've done on the methods used at Roloff's) and being in a similar, albeit less religious, program.  Read the post by "notworking" that I just bumped up.

[TimScrivener]

Sorry, I have little patience for overly zealous religious nutbags who think what happened at Roloff's was healthy.

I have less patience for overly zealous victims who call people names just because they don't agree with them. I was in the Lighthouse home, and the City of Refuge, and I was a farm worker, and I'm a member of People's Baptist Church now. What's your experience with the Homes?

None.  What I've read here (edited to add: and research I've done on the methods used at Roloff's) and being in a similar, albeit less religious, program.  Read the post by "notworking" that I just bumped up.

Ah, I see. So you've never been there but you know better what has happened there than myself who has been there off and on from 1981. I live here now. Instead of drinking the Koolaid, why not come down to Corpus Christi, Texas and take a look for yourself? I know you won't, because God forbid you be proven wrong.

I know that just like any organization run by people, not everything that has gone on there over the years was always right. Having said that, I also know that most of the people who have been to the Homes here have had good experiences and not bad. It's just that the ones that have bad experiences are more inclined to come on a forum like this and talk about their experience. As I have read through I have seen several that are positive. I'm sure you conveniently tell yourself that these are the ones that the  brainwashing was successful. Yet, as you say, you have never been here. So then it's just your preference to choose to believe what you want, with absolutely no proof.

[TimScrivener]

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theroloffhomesnow/

[Anne Bonney]

Sorry, I have little patience for overly zealous religious nutbags who think what happened at Roloff's was healthy.

I have less patience for overly zealous victims who call people names just because they don't agree with them. I was in the Lighthouse home, and the City of Refuge, and I was a farm worker, and I'm a member of People's Baptist Church now. What's your experience with the Homes?

None.  What I've read here (edited to add: and research I've done on the methods used at Roloff's) and being in a similar, albeit less religious, program.  Read the post by "notworking" that I just bumped up.

Ah, I see. So you've never been there but you know better what has happened there than myself who has been there off and on from 1981. I live here now. Instead of drinking the Koolaid, why not come down to Corpus Christi, Texas and take a look for yourself? I know you won't, because God forbid you be proven wrong.

I know that just like any organization run by people, not everything that has gone on there over the years was always right. Having said that, I also know that most of the people who have been to the Homes here have had good experiences and not bad. It's just that the ones that have bad experiences are more inclined to come on a forum like this and talk about their experience. As I have read through I have seen several that are positive. I'm sure you conveniently tell yourself that these are the ones that the  brainwashing was successful. Yet, as you say, you have never been here. So then it's just your preference to choose to believe what you want, with absolutely no proof.

Ok.....you just seemed desperate for someone, ANYone, to respond.  You come here occasionally and post, no one replies so you come back and post again...no one replies, you post again.  You seem to have wanted someone to reply, so I did.

I posted my belief about Roloff's from what I've read here, other places and research on their methods.  You don't agree with my assessment.  Ok.


btw.....did you read the post by "notworking"?

[TimScrivener]

btw.....did you read the post by "notworking"?

I wasn't able to find it.

[Ursus]

btw.....did you read the post by "notworking"?

I wasn't able to find it.

Click HERE (she just bumped it).

[TimScrivener]

btw.....did you read the post by "notworking"?

I wasn't able to find it.

Click HERE (she just bumped it).

Thanks.

[TimScrivener]

I don't agree that spanking a child with a paddle is abuse. I do agree if you cause physical damage it is abuse. I personally don't believe they should have paddled anyone in the homes for the simple reason that abuses can occur. Maybe even by well meaning people. I've actually seen it myself. But this was the exception to the rule and not the normal operation. I know that there were times in the Homes that some people that were not qualified were in charge. I also know that most of the people that went through the homes benefited from it. Like myself and hundreds like me.

Lester Roloff was not a bad man, and he didn't run a cult. He was a good man who wanted to help people. Unfortunately, there were people involved with his ministry that did the wrong things. I know that right now there are good people in charge of both homes that are left. Men and women are getting their lives straightened out. I just want to give the other side to these accounts on here that make it sound like the worse place on earth.

[Ursus]

I don't agree that spanking a child with a paddle is abuse. I do agree if you cause physical damage it is abuse. I personally don't believe they should have paddled anyone in the homes for the simple reason that abuses can occur. Maybe even by well meaning people. I've actually seen it myself. But this was the exception to the rule and not the normal operation. I know that there were times in the Homes that some people that were not qualified were in charge. I also know that most of the people that went through the homes benefited from it. Like myself and hundreds like me.

Psych professionals might disagree with you re. whether "spanking a child with a paddle is abuse." Probably a fair number of parents, too. It has to do with violating and disrespecting a person's autonomy, of which physical boundaries are one aspect.

If children learn best by example, what does this teach?

[TimScrivener]

I don't agree that spanking a child with a paddle is abuse. I do agree if you cause physical damage it is abuse. I personally don't believe they should have paddled anyone in the homes for the simple reason that abuses can occur. Maybe even by well meaning people. I've actually seen it myself. But this was the exception to the rule and not the normal operation. I know that there were times in the Homes that some people that were not qualified were in charge. I also know that most of the people that went through the homes benefited from it. Like myself and hundreds like me.

Psych professionals might disagree with you re. whether "spanking a child with a paddle is abuse." Probably a fair number of parents, too. It has to do with violating and disrespecting a person's autonomy, of which physical boundaries are one aspect.

If children learn best by example, what does this teach?

Depends on if you do it in love and explain why or if you are just beating them because your pissed. And, I really don't care what any "phych professionals" have to say about it.

[Whooter]

As long as you are consistent with your discipline and don’t react out of anger then it really doesn’t matter if you choose to spank or not.  There are many methods that are equally affective depending on the individual parenting style.  There is a lot of information and arguments out there on pro and anti-spanking.  Just beware of the fringe groups who want to reach into your home and tell you how to raise your child, like “nospank”, who are unable (or unwilling) to see both sides of the argument.  Some are a little concerning in their views and how they would like to enforce them.

People should be able to choose for themselves.



...

[DannyB II]

Anne wrote:
Sorry, I have little patience for overly zealous religious nutbags who think what happened at Roloff's was healthy.
 
Tim wrote:
I have less patience for overly zealous victims who call people names just because they don't agree with them. I was in the Lighthouse home, and the City of Refuge, and I was a farm worker, and I'm a member of People's Baptist Church now. What's your experience with the Homes?
 
Anne wrote:
None.  What I've read here (edited to add: and research I've done on the methods used at Roloff's) and being in a similar, albeit less religious, program.  Read the post by "notworking" that I just bumped up.
 
Tim wrote:
Ah, I see. So you've never been there but you know better what has happened there than myself who has been there off and on from 1981. I live here now. Instead of drinking the Koolaid, why not come down to Corpus Christi, Texas and take a look for yourself? I know you won't, because God forbid you be proven wrong.
I know that just like any organization run by people, not everything that has gone on there over the years was always right. Having said that, I also know that most of the people who have been to the Homes here have had good experiences and not bad. It's just that the ones that have bad experiences are more inclined to come on a forum like this and talk about their experience. As I have read through I have seen several that are positive. I'm sure you conveniently tell yourself that these are the ones that the  brainwashing was successful. Yet, as you say, you have never been here. So then it's just your preference to choose to believe what you want, with absolutely no proof.

Anne wrote:
Ok.....you just seemed desperate for someone, ANYone, to respond.  You come here occasionally and post, no one replies so you come back and post again...no one replies, you post again.  You seem to have wanted someone to reply, so I did.
I posted my belief about Roloff's from what I've read here, other places and research on their methods.  You don't agree with my assessment.  Ok.
btw.....did you read the post by "notworking"?

 

******************************************************************************************************************
Danny wrote:
Anne at her finest, attacking posters.

Anne wrote:  
"Sorry, I have little patience for overly zealous religious nutbags who think what happened at Roloff's was healthy".

Tim wrote:
I have less patience for overly zealous victims who call people names just because they don't agree with them.

Tim wrote:
What experience do you have with Lester Roloff homes.
 
Anne wrote:
"None". What I've read here (edited to add: and) research I've done on the methods used at Roloff's) being in a similar, albeit less religious, program. Read the post by "notworking" that I just bumped up.


 
Danny wrote:
1) "None" no experience with Roloff Homes".....
2) "What I've read "here".....
3) "research I've done on the methods used at Roloffs.....    
4) "being in a similar, albeit less religious, program"......  
5) "Read the post by "notworking"....    
Summation:
First and foremost Anne has no ("none") experience concerning Roloffs homes.
Anne gathered all her information (from here) included a post from "notworking" (from here), her research came (from here).
While at Straight she experienced some spirituality albeit it was less religious.
 
Why are you bothering this man, he is trying to share his experience.
What have you got, Nada.
Anne, you just can't stand it when someone has a different opinion.  
 

Danny

[Whooter]

lol, classic.

Ya gotta love this place.



...

[Anne Bonney]

Then feel free to dismiss my opinion.  That's all it is and I was upfront about not having personal knowledge of Roloff's.  Thank god.  I'd rather have been abused and brainwashed by the sadists at Straight than the religious zealots at Roloff's.