I used to have this recurring dream about the morning routine. I was an oldcomer and my daughters were newcomers. I was planning our escape but I had to be careful how much to let on. I wanted them to hang on to their minds but not give it away. And I worried that they'd be broken and snitch us out before I could pull it off if I let them know too much or that they'd believe my act and be brainwashed if I didn't clue them in enough.
That culminated in one very terrifying and vivid dream where I went incognito into this place I was researching at the time in real life, Character Inn in Indianapolis. There I found my daughter about halfway up the 14 story atrium, down on the floor polishing her way down an endless wooden banister. There was a moment of tension when she saw me and, thankfully, picked up on the idea that she'd better not let on.
Next thing, we're back in Pompano, having escaped somehow. We're at a spot near the beach where I used to go in the wee hours in my pre-program days just to watch the sun rise and get a little sanity break. We were looking for someone to hide us out for the daylight hours so we could sleep and plan our next move. I nice elderly couple agreed to let us crash in their condo or time share or something and we were just starting to walk toward the place when this SUV comes rolling up and two Straight staffers jump out wearing their Izod golf shirts and snide grins. They had rusted lengths of rebar in their hands and they proceeded to beat this elderly couple to death, laughing and taunting us all the while "You can't get away, nobody ever gets away. Now look what you made happen to these nice old people!...."
In real life at that time, my then 15yo daughter was not living at home. She had hooked up w/ a very controlling, abusive little fucker who I believe was a snitch for the local sheriff's drug task force. Just about every detail of the dream was fairly direct allegory to what was troubling my mind in those days. And it was impetus for me to go full on w/ both barrels against the entire toughlove hate group movement.
And words just can't relay how thankful I am to every person who has contributed in so many different ways to that effort. Even the trolls and unapologetic program apologists do their part.