Case in point--I just heard a song by Coldplay. THose guys really suck, although I wiill admit to liking the song, "Clocks", which was the one I just heard, when it first came out. I was also in a pretty fucked up headspace, and feeling kinda responsible for this close friend getting in a really fucked up situation (I wasn't, it was her own damn fault, something about a pretty face can make you torture yourself needlessly. I hear she's a devout Catholic nowadays, goes to Mass every day. Well god bless her soul! And to think, the whole time we were getting freaky into drugs and sex, she had a whole complex of Catholic guilt built up--sweet!). Anyway, so back to Coldplay, "Clocks", and why I hate rock and roll. This chixck and I would make roadtrips to score prescription drugs, hitting up different places in different cities. We'd get bored of our music and listen to local FM radio. Once, for about a week, we coulddn't miss hearing the sonmg"Clocks" wherever we went--Tampa, Jacksonville, Orlando, Atlanta--we'd hear it everywhere we ewent. It has a line in it, "Am I part of the cure/Or am I part of the disease". This was back when I still pretty much subscribed to the 12 Step disease model, although I damn sure didn't waste any of my time believing or practicing any of their other bullshit. I just figured I was terminalluy a junkie, and fuck everything else. Then I hooked up with this chick again, and she hadsd a kid since I had last seen her. I felt like I was fucking her up, even being around her. I wasa, but she was fucking me up, too, so wee're even. I hope she's doing OK, and coping with the Catholic guilt and all. Poor stupid girl.
Anyway, I hate rock and roll cause it brings up stupid memories that I feel like I have to purge by posting on some stupid survivor website 'cause I can't fucking sleep at night without drugs to knock me out.