Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Facility Question and Answers
Father and son WC
Nihilanthic:
Wanting to clean and knowing why you should is better and ultimately more effective than coercing it.
I think you know why.
If its arbitrary, its bullshit... if its meaningful (like picking up shit that is dangerous, frail, or valuable, or removing old clothes and food for sanitation) then they'll learn it and practice it.
MY room is messy and I'd hit you in the face with a dowel rod if you touched my shit, but it doesn't stink!
Badad:
This cold weather has something to do with our cabin fever.
Its not that he doesnt want to spend time with us. We play family games. Hang out and watch TV together. Hes fun to be around. But when asked to do anything. He turns into a rude, hurtful person yelling at us. Punching holes in walls and throwing things. Ripping picture frames off the walls etc.
I guess I need to let it go. But I just cant get over the feeling that my wife and I are slaves for our kids. My wife has back problems and I have wrist Tendonitis and ligement damage and we are out shoveling snow. It just pisses me off big time! And at those moments I want to kick his ass up and down the block.
Covergaard:
Advice number one:
Print out these two articles and hang them where he can not avoid reading them. Write the phonenumber to wwasp and a teen escort firm on them with a pen:
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/magazine ... 72,00.html
http://www.legalaffairs.org/issues/July ... laug04.msp
When he ask about them give him an answer, which he might consider as a try to explain away. Refuse to discuss the matter further but turn the dialogue into chores and schoolwork instead.
Advice number two: (If the first one does not work)
a) Rent a cabin for a weekend.
b) Write a impact letter.
c) Hire an escort company to take him for a detour before he ends up at the cabin where you have arrived before him. See too that your car is not at the cabin, so he has to stay there.
d) Use the weekend to talk the impact letter over with him
Advice number three: (If the first two advices dont work)
Wait until he is 18 and let him know that he is an adult. Tell him straight: "Now it is my way or the highway"
Deborah:
--- Quote from: ""Badad"" ---This cold weather has something to do with our cabin fever.
Its not that he doesnt want to spend time with us. We play family games. Hang out and watch TV together. Hes fun to be around. But when asked to do anything. He turns into a rude, hurtful person yelling at us. Punching holes in walls and throwing things. Ripping picture frames off the walls etc.
--- End quote ---
Now, if you can't gain cooperation, how will a program? What methods will they employ to do so?
He's exhibiting extremely anti-social behavior. It's a bad habit that you've allowed him to develop. He doesn't need to be drugged for a bad habit. What are the consequences for breaking things and punching holes in the walls?
In my house, he would be responsible for replacing the things he breaks. It will require some creativity and a little assistance on your part, but he needs to be earning money that he can 'loose' when this happens. Assigning an arbitrary punishment (grounding) is indirect and teaches nothing specific to the situtation.
Same with the holes in the walls. You take him to the hardware store, he purchases the necessary items to repair the holes, and with your assistance, he repairs them.
I'd first try the 'giving perspective' approach. Make a list of all the things that have to be done in order for the house to run well. Check off everything you do that he can't, including, working in order to pay the bills. Grocery shopping, cooking, trash, laundry, cleaning, mowing, shoveling snow, etc. All household members make unpaid contributions, so ask him to select the one's he'll be responsible for, in addition to cleaning his own room.
Not negotiable, as it wouldn't be with a roommate. Would you allow a roommate to skate by with no contribution? I doubt it. If he doesn't select, then you select for him. And then you must be prepared to follow through.
Anytime we do for someone else what they can do themselves, we create an invalid- so-called 'entitlement' issues. Don't do this to you son.
--- Quote ---I guess I need to let it go. But I just cant get over the feeling that my wife and I are slaves for our kids. My wife has back problems and I have wrist Tendonitis and ligement damage and we are out shoveling snow. It just pisses me off big time! And at those moments I want to kick his ass up and down the block.
--- End quote ---
You're not a victim to your child. You may lack a backbone and persistence, but you can change that, if cooperation and assistance is what you're seeking.
Kicking his ass up and down the block, as I'm sure you're aware, will only incite more rebellion and 'teaches' nothing, except violence, something he obviously doesn't need more of.
Dr Phil:
--- Quote from: ""Covergaard"" ---
Advice number two: (If the first one does not work)
a) Rent a cabin for a weekend.
b) Write a impact letter.
c) Hire an escort company to take him for a detour before he ends up at the cabin where you have arrived before him. See too that your car is not at the cabin, so he has to stay there.
d) Use the weekend to talk the impact letter over with him
--- End quote ---
Escort companies should be illegal. Who;s idea is this, or is this just some internet theory being thrown around? :-?
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version