Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Facility Question and Answers
Father and son WC
Anonymous:
Get him on this forum and let him know what kind of concentrated evil wants to eat his soul.
(Hey, you've tried everything else, right?)
Antigen:
I just found this thread. Hope you're still lurking.
Here's an angle I don't think anybody's beat me to. How about taking a closer look at why you and your son, like so many of us, have such a hard time finding anything to respect in most of the people who are drawn to positions of authority? There are very good reasons. But there are better and worse ways to articulate them and to respond to them.
Check out these authors for some ideas: John Taylor Gatto.
Badad:
That's a approach or angle Id never heard of. But it does make sense. School did seem like a prison or cult to me. But my son "says" he likes it and is getting good grades.
At this point of my life I feel I need to obey "the man". Iv been beat by him to many times and have learned. But my son is completely opposite. Small things like cleaning his room or shoveling snow only happen after a long drag down fight. My wife starts to cry after demanding and being told no. I step in calmly and then she screams at me. Im walking on egg shells. He finally does the chore 1/2 way after he sees us fight about how to deal with him. He says he wants to spend time with me. But I dont enjoy anything anymore. The hobbies I loved are boring now. And I find it hard to reward him for his behavior.
This unschool thing wouldnt work with him.
"It requires tremendous dedication and discipline to assume the responsibility that is normally entrusted to schools. If they decide to go this route, teens have to look for their own teachers and seek out classes if they can't learn something on their own. They have to think hard about what interests them and research the skills they need to accomplish it, so that they can make sure to take the necessary steps. "
My son and myself are more focused on instant gratification. Classic ADHD. Not long term future goals. What many would call lazy. Then when it is to late I feel beat. Its to late. I find myself dreaming about life before my son was born. I also wonder if I would still be a pothead alky. Maybe he saved me. But now it feels like he is destroying the family. My wife and I are very confused and exhausted. We Havent taken a vacation for years. If we went alone. We would never hear the end of it.
I wish I could find FFT. And Im leaning more towards meds at this point.
Anonymous:
If he's getting good grades but doesn't want to talk to you or your wife, the best thing would probably be for both of you to stay the hell out of his way for a while.
You'd be surprised how quickly that can fix troubled relationships.
Nihilanthic:
Something I learned from someone I respect a lot... condensed into a phrase.
"The best way to teach moderation to a child is to not force it upon them."
Pretty simple, eh? I basically taught myself habits behind moderation of alcohol, driving, cleaning things, food choices, etc becuase I completely disregarded what was told to me and decided on my own :rofl: but the principle remains the same.
Remove the urge to rebel and counter you and suddenly things that are necessary become apparent and typically done by a intelligent person.
At any rate, hiking in the woods and disclosure won't fix anything, the only thing a program "Does" is break people, make them disclose everything, and do what they are told under threat.
Also, uh, when that threat is removed, they won't do what you say anymore, then grow up and learn how to decide what to do on their own... soo... see where I'm going?
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