Author Topic: Let's Do It For Joe Mama!  (Read 11557 times)

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Offline 85 Day Jerk

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Let's Do It For Joe Mama!
« on: December 07, 2006, 07:46:39 AM »
I think by now that we all know who "Joe Mama" really is.  I started the thread as a joke, and well continue this thread as a joke.  Joe Mama has made my ass hurt more than any BMX experience I ever had as a youngster and for that I salute her.

Feel free to vent your feelings and thoughts toward Joe Mama with riddles, jokes, photo's or valid medical records obtained by breaking into her old shrinks office.  I don't care anymore.  I gave, ................I gave at the office, but that was'nt good enough, so I'm gonna keep on having fun at Joe Mama's expense.  This aint no ego thing either.  Joe Mama would have to live to be One Hundred and Thirty before we even caught up to the "I Just" thread.
« Last Edit: January 30, 2007, 05:30:08 PM by Guest »
Inside a warehouse behind Tyrone Mall
we walked in darkness, kept hitting the wall.
I took the time to feel for the door,
I had been \"treated\" but what the hell for?

Offline Anonymous

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Let's Do It For Joe Mama!
« Reply #1 on: December 07, 2006, 01:41:21 PM »
obviously you haven't met her or known her very long. :roll:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Let's Do It For Joe Mama!
« Reply #2 on: December 07, 2006, 04:36:49 PM »
Wasn't it implied that he met her in his post?
And crazy chicks aren't so bad.....
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Let's Do It For Joe Mama!
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2006, 05:36:08 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
Wasn't it implied that he met her in his post?
And crazy chicks aren't so bad.....


"implied"...........exactly!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: For Joe Mama
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2006, 08:36:38 AM »
Quote from: ""85 Day Jerk""
Joe Mama is probably the greatest woman in the history of the United States.  She is responsible for 90 percent of fat women jokes, yet she takes it all in stride.  I just want to take this opportunity to thank her for everything she has done in my life and to wish Joe Mama a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.  It is useless to wonder who Joe Mama is, or where she comes from, for she is everywhere, and her dominion reaches across all galaxies, all space, and all time, sort of like that green glowing sphere in that movie Heavy Metal, except her sound track is not quite as cool.

That is all.


Wasn't this thread originally for Beth????
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline 85 Day Jerk

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Joe Mama Spoke To Me
« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2006, 01:04:35 PM »
Joe Mama is so fat, she attends Weight Watcher Meetings down at the truck scales on I-75.

Joe Mama is so crazy,  she put crazy glue in her Excedrin to help hold her thoughts together.

Joe Mama is so ugly, her left earring say WARNING BAD ROAD AHEAD NEXT THREE MILES and her right earring say, END OF CONSTRUCTION.....

Joe Mama is so stupid she think Free Range Chickens come with a free coupon for a Maytag Oven.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Inside a warehouse behind Tyrone Mall
we walked in darkness, kept hitting the wall.
I took the time to feel for the door,
I had been \"treated\" but what the hell for?

Offline 85 Day Jerk

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Mo' Joe Mama
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2006, 11:19:20 PM »
Joe Mama so damn ugly, she went to Iraq and the camels that saw her done shit their humps before running away.

Joe Mama said it were her lucky day cuz she walk in the house wif a big ole dog turd in her hand and says "Looky what I almost stepped in!!!"

Joe Mama learned her A B C's from having to do all them sobriety tests for the po-leese.

Joe Mama joined aerobics class and got a letter from the Mayor of Quang Yang Province China, politely asking her to quit.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Inside a warehouse behind Tyrone Mall
we walked in darkness, kept hitting the wall.
I took the time to feel for the door,
I had been \"treated\" but what the hell for?

Offline Anonymous

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Let's Do It For Joe Mama!
« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2006, 01:39:06 PM »
you all right Day jerk???
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Fr. Cassian

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Let's Do It For Joe Mama!
« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2006, 09:18:19 PM »
He is obviously not all right at all. 85 Day Jerk, we understand the druggie's occasional need to seek attention in group. We have ways to help you see that "being cool" isn't important compared to dealing with your chemical dependancy. We'll send the Straqightmobile? around asap. Take care, and know that help is on the way.

Father Cassian
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
I am a priest of GOD!

Offline Anonymous

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Let's Do It For Joe Mama!
« Reply #9 on: December 14, 2006, 06:53:37 PM »
:rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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JOe Mama = Beth??
« Reply #10 on: December 15, 2006, 09:50:36 AM »
r  joemama and beth the same Jerkey boy?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Let's Do It For Joe Mama!
« Reply #11 on: December 15, 2006, 10:49:15 AM »
What the hell happened here?  This is some funny shit! :rofl:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Froderik

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Let's Do It For Joe Mama!
« Reply #12 on: December 15, 2006, 10:58:38 AM »
I suggest you PM 85 Day Jerk if you want the whole story.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Let's Do It For Joe Mama!
« Reply #13 on: December 15, 2006, 11:08:14 AM »
Quote from: ""Froderik""
I suggest you PM 85 Day Jerk if you want the whole story.


Nah, I really don't care.  It just made for some funny reading. :rofl:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline 85 Day Jerk

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After Christmas Blow-Out Joe Mama Style
« Reply #14 on: December 28, 2006, 03:45:54 PM »
I ran into Joe Mama on the clusterfuck known as I-475 leading into Atlanta late last night.  I was bored as hell and had set up a tripod and mounted my camera in the breakdown lane.  I wanted to get a shot of either a commercial jet landing on runway 24 West, or else one of the many ass smoking sports cars like Lambourghini's or the fabled Ford F-1 GT that scream through there late at night.

As I was looking through the viewfinder and checking the built in lightmeter on my trusty Canon Ftb, I was startled by the soft sound of tires on bits of gravel coming from behind me.  Shit, I thought, it is probably a Georgia State Trooper gonna shoo me off the side of the road or maybe even give me a ticket or something.  I turned around and much to my surprise, it was Joe Mama sitting behind the wheel of her van.

"Whatchoo doing there jerk?" she asked.  "I'm setting up to take  pictures of some of them sportscars I keep hearing about."  "Fuck that shit, she says, let's race into Dalton."  "Route 60 has a shitload of hills and curves and we can stop at that all night Starbucks, get on the internet, and terrorize people on fornits."  She flashed me an evil grin and pulled along side me with her flashers going.  "Well c'mon jerk, LET'S DRAG!!!!"  

I decided it would be cool to have both of our cell phones on for this momentous occasion and she agreed.  To my surprize, Joe Mama had never raced her van before and did not know what to do so she asked me for instructions.  "Okay, I told her, "Put the shift lever into R for Race!"  She did and punched it and shot backwards in a cloud of dust and almost hit a support column while I laughed my ass off.  "You sumbitch, you almost crashed me!," she yelled over the phone.  "Oh shit, I forgot, for vans you gotta put it in D for Drag."
So she did, and shot off like a bat out of hell, with me close behind.
She stayed ahead of me until we got off on Route 60, then the first hill took it's toll on her overloaded vehicle and she began to slow down.  "Help me jerk, she yelled, I'm slowing down, what can I do?"
Trying to keep the laughter out of my voice I tell her, "Put it into 2,
that way you'll go twice as fast!!!"  She did, and the motor screamed in agony and sparks and shit started hitting the road under the van.  "Goddammit, you're catching up to me, this is'nt fair!"   "Calm down, calm down, now is there a big letter P on the shifter?"  "Yes, yes, there is!," she screamed excitedly.  "Okay then, now when you start coming down this next hill, I want you to slam it into P for Power and the added gravity should let you really haul ass, you got it?"

What happened next almost made me run off the road.  The back wheels locked up, and somehow her dogs opened the side door and bailed out like paratroopers leaving a burning C-47.  Next the driveshaft snapped off at the transmission U-joint throwing off shitloads of sparks and looking like the Worlds Largest Bottle Rocket flying around under there.  There was a strange glow eminating from inside the van as the tortured transmission went thermonuclear and Joe Mama's hair was flying up all around her head like Halle Barry's would do in all them X-Men movies.  Before anything 'real bad' could happen, the trailing end of the driveshaft struck a pothole in the road and the whole fuck'n van flipped up and over like Bruce Jenner doing the pole vault in the Olympics.
As luck would have it, it landed on this huge ass roll of hay the size of a big tool shed.  I decided it might be best to make myself scarce and call the accident in from a few miles away.  I am sorry to say that I was not able to get any pictures, but damn that shit was funny to see!!! ::bwahaha::  ::cheers::  :rofl:  8-)  :tup:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Inside a warehouse behind Tyrone Mall
we walked in darkness, kept hitting the wall.
I took the time to feel for the door,
I had been \"treated\" but what the hell for?