Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Ridge Creek School / Hidden Lake Academy

Public Displays of Caring/Empathy

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Anonymous:
I read this comment on MySpace:

You know you've been at HLA too long when your friend is sad but you would NEVER pass them a tissue.

Can someone explain?
Was all crying interpreted as manipulation?
Were you discouraged from showing any empathy for another's suffering?
I once read about WWASP that a girl was harshly punished for hugging a friend who was crying because it was Christmas and she was homesick. Is it something like that?

Anonymous:

--- Quote from: ""Guest"" ---I read this comment on MySpace:

You know you've been at HLA too long when your friend is sad but you would NEVER pass them a tissue.

Can someone explain?
Was all crying interpreted as manipulation?
Were you discouraged from showing any empathy for another's suffering?
I once read about WWASP that a girl was harshly punished for hugging a friend who was crying because it was Christmas and she was homesick. Is it something like that?
--- End quote ---


There was a kid who kept telling staff he was suicidal (oh and yes, he did have serious depression), but they wouldn't believe him. He kept begging them to take him to the hospital - instead they put him on restrictions because they said he was manipulating.

Don't show sympathy towards anyone else or you'll be accused of helping them manipulate.

Anonymous:

--- Quote from: ""Guest"" ---I read this comment on MySpace:

You know you've been at HLA too long when your friend is sad but you would NEVER pass them a tissue.

Can someone explain?
Was all crying interpreted as manipulation?
Were you discouraged from showing any empathy for another's suffering?
I once read about WWASP that a girl was harshly punished for hugging a friend who was crying because it was Christmas and she was homesick. Is it something like that?
--- End quote ---


Again, this is where common sense and good training come into play.  There are times when it is best not to hand someone a tissue.  If they are working on an issue that has been difficult for them and they are finally able to tap into some emotions that they have been holding back for a long time, then it would be best just to let the person cry or to set the tissue box beside them in case they choose to take it.  There are times when you have to let people get there feelings out.  What is the first thing someone typically does when they are handed a tissue?  They start pulling themselves together and try to stop crying.  In a therapy group some people are enevitably less comfortable with crying than others.  If you hand someone a tissue it may be more that YOU want them to stop crying rather than them needing to be comforted at that time.

A good therapist will manage the group in such a way that he/she lets the group members know when it is time to comfort the person crying and when to just let them cry because that is what they need.  Of course this further points out the need for licensed counselors in a TBS setting.

Anonymous:

--- Quote from: ""Guest"" ---
--- Quote from: ""Guest"" ---I read this comment on MySpace:

You know you've been at HLA too long when your friend is sad but you would NEVER pass them a tissue.

Can someone explain?
Was all crying interpreted as manipulation?
Were you discouraged from showing any empathy for another's suffering?
I once read about WWASP that a girl was harshly punished for hugging a friend who was crying because it was Christmas and she was homesick. Is it something like that?
--- End quote ---

Again, this is where common sense and good training come into play.  There are times when it is best not to hand someone a tissue.  If they are working on an issue that has been difficult for them and they are finally able to tap into some emotions that they have been holding back for a long time, then it would be best just to let the person cry or to set the tissue box beside them in case they choose to take it.  There are times when you have to let people get there feelings out.  What is the first thing someone typically does when they are handed a tissue?  They start pulling themselves together and try to stop crying.  In a therapy group some people are enevitably less comfortable with crying than others.  If you hand someone a tissue it may be more that YOU want them to stop crying rather than them needing to be comforted at that time.

A good therapist will manage the group in such a way that he/she lets the group members know when it is time to comfort the person crying and when to just let them cry because that is what they need.  Of course this further points out the need for licensed counselors in a TBS setting.
--- End quote ---


Good points, but what happens when crying (for example) occurs outside of group and you're trying to comfort someone and that's discouraged?

RobertBruce:
Anything to create division among the inmates, this is no differnt than forcing them to rat each other out all the time.

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