Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Hyde Schools

I lost my virginity at Hyde.

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Anonymous:
to the original poster:
thanks you for sharing that with us, although you shared this long ago. i read this as one of the first threads i read on fornits. i was saddened. i even emailed it to mr. bragg b/c maybe he could remember the incident and you and know you weren't lying and if you were ever brough up in conversation as a liar, he could say something. another senior at bath i met happened to read this too, he had done the same thing that i had done.
i don't like the whole battling out atmosphere on this site. i wish it could just be a place to share your experiences, good and bad. b/c it is a therapeutic thing to do. i hope others are able to post something as difficult and hate-enducing as this memory was without trying to bash hyde.

Ursus:

--- Quote from: ""billy procida"" ---to the original poster:
thanks you for sharing that with us, although you shared this long ago. i read this as one of the first threads i read on fornits. i was saddened. i even emailed it to mr. bragg b/c maybe he could remember the incident and you and know you weren't lying and if you were ever brough up in conversation as a liar, he could say something. another senior at bath i met happened to read this too, he had done the same thing that i had done.
i don't like the whole battling out atmosphere on this site. i wish it could just be a place to share your experiences, good and bad. b/c it is a therapeutic thing to do. i hope others are able to post something as difficult and hate-enducing as this memory was without trying to bash hyde.
--- End quote ---


That was really nice of you, Billy.  And that was really nice of your friend, too.  I can only hope that the OP is stopping back from time to time and will find in your words some validation of her experience.  Hopefully, Mr. Bragg will take note of the trauma he was somehow involved in, even if in no other capacity than being the one who picked up the pair en route back to school.

It is very therapeutic to share one's experiences, both good and bad, and I am sure this site has enabled many to start on a path of recovery and/or realization vis a vie their time at Hyde.  For many, but not all, "bashing Hyde" is a necessary and life-affirming part of that process.

Unfortunately, it is impossible to delve into this site even but superficially without coming to the inescapable conclusion that something is very awry in the way Hyde chooses to effect "character education."  This thread alone details story after story of unbelievably painful life-changing traumas.  I seriously doubt that there are not countless others that haven't been aired yet.  And on top of the trauma, as unbelievably bad as the incidents in and of themselves undoubtedly are, there is an additional shitload of prolonged torture and character assassination that Hyde not only participates in, but revels in, as an inherent part of the "character development" process.  This makes my blood boil.

lucy:

--- Quote from: ""billy procida"" ---to the original poster:
thanks you for sharing that with us, although you shared this long ago. i read this as one of the first threads i read on fornits. i was saddened. i even emailed it to mr. bragg b/c maybe he could remember the incident and you and know you weren't lying and if you were ever brough up in conversation as a liar, he could say something. another senior at bath i met happened to read this too, he had done the same thing that i had done.
i don't like the whole battling out atmosphere on this site. i wish it could just be a place to share your experiences, good and bad. b/c it is a therapeutic thing to do. i hope others are able to post something as difficult and hate-enducing as this memory was without trying to bash hyde.
--- End quote ---


Part of the original post.......

If I didn't have my father...
I would have ended up in foster care, and the foster care system here--at least from what I've heard of it, from what I understand--is, to put it lightly, hell. My father HAD to get me into SOME kind of school program, quick, or he was going to lose me... Like I'm sure most parents do, he did a lot of searching, consulted some people, blah blah...and decided on Hyde. I do believe that he wanted the best for me, and Hyde looked the best to him...but

he couldn't afford it... SO
he went to court to get the life-insurance money (left in my name from my mother dying),
to pay for Hyde.

That said...

Hyde put me back on grade level as a freshman. For that, I am extremely thankful.

HOWEVER

Did I get the help I needed? No. At that point in my life, (I can admit now that) I was a pretty disturbed individual. I had no desire to do anything. In the morning, I didn't want to wake up; I wanted to sleep forever, and I physically couldn't sleep at night without six or seven Xanax, minimum.

I needed serious psychological HELP. Instead, I recieved MORE psychological DAMAGE.

At Hyde, I picked up the habit of cutting myself, a practice I learned from fellow students. My reality became even more distorted. I was made to feel inferior. I was isolated, and, at the age of 14 (through 15) utterly ALONE, an object... I did not feel human. The Xanax was taken away cold turkey, with no kind of therapy at all. Food became my replacement for this; at mealtime I would eat as much as possible, because it was all I had to comfort myself, and then I was made to feel inferior/disgusting about my body (mostly BY STAFF); I eventually developed a mild eating-disorder which, chances are, would NOT have developed in a HEALTHIER environment.

Post-traumatic stress? Instead of recovering from that, or even reckognizing that I was suffering from it, I got traumatized again...cold bathroom floor and all the words that followed... Instead of healing, I got fresh wounds. Every day I felt trapped, hopeless, abandoned and misunderstood. Most of my peers (majority of which were rich, much older kids, coming from a totally different culture) looked down on me and abused me. Most of the staff (though one or two did genuilely care/make attempts at helping me without really knowing how) stopped ignoring me ONLY to chastise and humiliate. (My already-unhealthily-low self-esteem became almost non-existant.)

I do believe that (though many succesful Hyde students are simply good actors, caught in a sadomasohistic script)...Hyde does work for some people...the keyword there being "some". There ARE certainly a FEW kids who have actually been helped by it. But that isn't enough to justify the damage it has done (and continues to do) to others, to kids like me. It has taken me years of therapy just to understand and begin to get past this, to be able to write about it now.

To the "Guest" who originally posted her trauma at Hyde,

I want to tell you how sad I feel for you and how much I can relate to this.  I would like to correspond with you in a "private message" if that is ok.  I think that maybe we can help each other.  I get the feeling you don't know how to set up a way to do this.  You need to sign up for a name.  You do not have to use your name.  You can call yourself whatever you want.  No one will be able to get in touch with you outside of this board.  You can check for private messages whenever you want to sign in.

You did NOTHING WRONG at Hyde. You were innocent, naive and a part of you wanted and needed the attention you thought you would get from this guy who took advantage of you.  You then were made to feel shame.  The shame is with Hyde for accepting you into their program to begin with.  For knowing your father had to take your trust money to pay for this so called character school. This is not your father's fault.  Hyde told us that they could help our daughters self esteem and instead they destroyed it.  It is great that you are writing about your experiences here for the sake of other girls who might be considering Hyde and come to this board.  Unfortunately I don't have high hopes that Hyde will try to change.  They have never taken responsibility for the wrongs they commit.

PLEASE sign up for a name on this board so I can then private message you.

As far as Billy, thank you for bringing this to the attention of the person at Hyde who had something to do with this.  I hope he doesn't come back to you and just slander the poor girl which would be typical of Hyde.  Point is that Hyde has emotionally damaged many people.  Whether these people already had problems or not is not the point.  It is wrong to take in kids who need psychological counseling and put them in Hyde's seminars.  It is downright dangerous and detrimental to them.

Anonymous:

--- Quote from: ""billy procida"" ---to the original poster:
thanks you for sharing that with us, although you shared this long ago. i read this as one of the first threads i read on fornits. i was saddened. i even emailed it to mr. bragg b/c maybe he could remember the incident and you and know you weren't lying and if you were ever brough up in conversation as a liar, he could say something. another senior at bath i met happened to read this too, he had done the same thing that i had done.
i don't like the whole battling out atmosphere on this site. i wish it could just be a place to share your experiences, good and bad. b/c it is a therapeutic thing to do. i hope others are able to post something as difficult and hate-enducing as this memory was without trying to bash hyde.
--- End quote ---

Billy, I hope you take this the way it is meant, with concern.  Contacting Mr Bragg was great.  He should know the affect he had on somebody.  You say you don't like the "whole battling out atmosphere on this sit" and that it is therapeutic to share your experiences.

Let me share my thoughts with you on the above.  I too was damaged by Hyde.  I do not come to this board to find therapy.  I go to a well qualified therapist for this.  I come to this board to get support from others who have experienced similar problems at Hyde.  It validates what happened to me and helps me get this off of my chest. Hyde destroyed parts of me by pretending to do their own therapy with seminars and FLC's.  You are very lucky that you don't seem to need Hyde for the same reasons we did.  Hyde gave hurt some of us through shame and humiliation and tried to control us through 2-4 and negative reinforcement.  This might work on some, but doesn't on others including myself.  Hyde needs to know this and maybe you are the one who can accomplish this. My worry is that hyde does not care. In your post you mention that you wish other people could tell their stories like this girl did without bashing hyde.  Go back and look at her story again.  She did bash Hyde.  She pointed out how poorly Hyde handled the entire situation and how they foster an astmosphere where the whole year this girl was ragged on.  I know you are very pro hyde and i am glad you enjoy being there, but for some of us hyde was very damaging. if you don't like to hear this i am sorry, but we are telling the truth.

I hope you continue to come to this board because you seem to be sincere, but i think that people need to say whatever they feel like saying in order to help them through their post hyde years. If I thought that hyde wanted to be different i would sit down with them tomorrow and give them my thoughts, but hyde has never shown they want to change or be better. they have their own little AA type of program and this is how they want to stay

Anonymous:
hyde mishandles many situations. so do many other schools and institutions and people in general. i don't consider it bashing to say hyde mishandled a particular situation. i think it's bashing when they start saying "hyde mishandles ALL situations or MOST" when they haven't checked to see if that's true. so i don't consider her bashing hyde. mr. bragg didn't come back to anyone. i didn't even get a response. he really didn't do anything. he only picked them up to give 'em a lift back to campus so they didn't have to walk. but he's the only person i can contact that is mentioned by name in the post, and i felt that someone should know. same with that other kid from bath. i've shown some facutly that particular post to show that there is something to be learned from this site. but no one's going to listen the way a majority of posts are worded on this site. people like ursus discredit what some people like this original poster say. any hyde faculty will speak to you. over the phone or through email. but they have made it clear they're not going to waste their time posting on a forum board. and if you were to talk to them on the phone, there's a proper way to go about things. not calling up yelling and cursing (which has happened). make yourself respectable to listen to. some of ya'll here do. some really don't. and the latter discredit the former. trust me, my school has its demons. so do many other, all other, institutions. and i think hyde admins can learn something from some of you. but it's ya'll's presentation. there's also somethign ya'll can learn from me. because, at least for woodstock, things have changed in the way thigns operate down here then from last year, 5 years ago, 10 years ago. it's an evolving place. help be part of the change. because some of you jsut come here and bitch and moan, and that doesn't do anyone any good.

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