Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Aspen Education Group
ASR
Anonymous:
--- Quote from: ""nalex18"" ---
--- Quote from: ""Milk Gargling Death Penal"" ---I call well-organized, deliberately-planned troll on this whole thread.
--- Quote ---Lots of crying, yelling, etc. Some of the things that went on in group I believe was wrong.
--- End quote ---
--- Quote ---You would receive a folder with a "truth list" and writing assignments to do things like "Why I feel I don't have to talk in group".
--- End quote ---
--- Quote ---All mail was opened, read and searched.If a counselor thought something was innapropriate you did't get the mail.
--- End quote ---
That last one is actually illegal.
--- Quote ---I think everyone to some extent lied to get out of the program. Some people went through the program
having done drugs, had sex, etc but would never admit to it and were never caught. You learned to be compliant and really just to say whatever they wanted you to.
--- End quote ---
Pretty sick shit, right?
But then he says:
--- Quote ---I can say that I am a different person than I was prior to ASR. I learned not to act out, even if the learning came in some uncomfortable ways.
--- End quote ---
That's either Stockholm to the max or some serious fucking bullshit.
Nalex, if you are for real, you ought to tell this miserable "guest parent" to go eat shit and set about reclaiming who you were.
The fact that you haven't makes you a defeated little pussy and you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
--- End quote ---
I'm not a troll, whatever that means. ASR was not the best place in the world but I feel like an asshole when kids are really suffering at other places, and also because I had been in worse situations.. I go back and forth over it, and everyone else I know who went there with does the same. If the parent feels that changes have been made and her child has been helped I cannot state otherwise seeing that I have not been there in years.
--- End quote ---
MGDP-
It is one thing to attack a program parent who understands that your use of vulgar language shows your lack of wanting to actually discuss or debate an issue.
Your inaccurate accusations of Nalex's sincerity or intentions was completely uncalled for. While she patiently answers some rather painful questions, she should be commended for her honesty and
sharing some very private issues must be very difficult for her.
Nalex, thankfully most people on this site really ARE genuinely interested in hearing what you have to say. You have been through a lot and seem to have gotten your life back together. It disturbs me as well as the others on this forum that many programs DO take kids with bigger issues than they can handle. Suicidal individuals belong in residential treatment centers, where they can be watched 24/7, not TBS programs. Unfortunately there are parents out there that lie or don't tell the real issues to get their child into a program for fear that they will be rejected. Being desparate to get their child help is no excuse for doing so.
I am glad to hear that you have a good relationship with your family despite being sent to ASR. You seem like a really nice person who has no agenda other than sharing your personal experiences to try to help others. I wish you all the best in life as you have worked hard to get to where you are today
PS. Don't mind Milk Gargling Death Penalty. Hopefully one day he'll grow up
Anne Bonney:
--- Quote from: ""Milk Gargling Death Penal"" ---That's either Stockholm to the max or some serious fucking bullshit.
Nalex, if you are for real, you ought to tell this miserable "guest parent" to go eat shit and set about reclaiming who you were.
--- End quote ---
Why? Why do you want to run anyone off that isn't militantly opposed to programs? I personally AM militantly opposed to all of them but I'd like to be able to carry on a discussion with someone who thinks differently. Someone like Karen or Sue, yes....they should be slammed every time they post, but someone coming on and talking about their actual experiences, even though I may vehemently disagree with them, should be afforded the opportunity to explain why they feel the way they do. It makes for interesting debate, which I believe is the whole point of a forum, no?
--- Quote ---The fact that you haven't makes you a defeated little pussy and you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
--- End quote ---
Fuck you, ya miserable little asshole. You have no fucking clue what it's like to survive one of those hell holes and have no goddamn right making judgements about anyone who does.
Anonymous:
--- Quote from: ""Three Springs Waygookin"" ---Guest Parent:
Like you I commend Nalex's honesty and bravery. As for the rest of your position you sum it up nicely, though I disagree on a few critical points. A suicidal child belongs under a properly managed mental hospital. Quite often the terms residential treatment facility and theraputic boarding school is used as one and the same..
I think it is important to ask a few questions of yourself.
Obviously the picture being painted of ASR isn't a rosy one at all. How can you reconcile this information with the information coming from your own child? Even if a fraction of this information holds true for your own son I would be extremely alarmed. Being a veteran youth counselor of two different programs I can say that the model as described by Nalex is a frightening one.
Doesn't it at all make you question what you are being told?
A child sent to a TBS program often talks the party line for quite sometime after graduation. It makes sense as they had to eat, breathe, sleep, and live the ASR way for their entire stay at the facility.
I suggest that you consider asking your own son the same questions I am asking Nalex. Bear in mind the ends never justify the means. Your son may be doing well now, but if he witnessed abuse was abused himself that only comes back later in life. It is also, I am freely willing to conceed, that your son didn't witness any abuse or wasn't abused himself. I just don't find it very likely.
I would greatly wish to interview your son as well. I would be more than happy to post my msn/yahoo/aim accounts to achieve that goal.
--- End quote ---
3 springs,
I appreciate your ability to accept the information that I have given you and not accusing me of JUST being a program parent and dismissing every word I say. I read Maia's book about the early programs and was absolutely appalled. These incidents happened a long, long time ago and had I sent my child to the Seed, Straight etc. I wouldn't be able to live with myself today.
I do believe everything that Nalex said happened. She also was at ASR 3 years ago, probably when Rudy Bentz and others like him were running the school. I saw positive changes in the 13 months my son was there, and not all of it was laundry, food...
. I don't believe that the physical abuse incidents still happen (although suspect that there have been hazing incidents between the kids). I saw kids kicked out of the school several times for incidents where they were physical with other students. Violence simply was not tolerated.
I can see where the seminars could be seen as a form of verbal abuse. Family seminars were very emotional and I realize that our kids had to endure a lot more than we did on a weekly basis. ASR's Lifesteps have also changed from the ones described in the Dave Marcus book, What it takes to pull me through, in 2001 (where the kids were ripped apart mentally). They are gearing themselves to be more positive, self-esteem building processes.
I am not sure that the LifeSteps still exist anymore as they were being phased out when our son graduated. As I said, huge changes were taking place around then, presumably for the better.
3 springs- our son goes on AIM occasionally, so perhaps he would be willing to "talk to you". I understand what you are trying to say about it taking some time to sink in before he can process his experiences. Interestingly, he would love to visit ASR and at times has expressed wishing he could be back there (probably more for his friends).in some ways he felt safe (for ex. no drug temptations) and liked having boundries, and being responsible for himself (academically, socially....). He grew up and matured there and perhaps that's part of why he feels successful. There is something to be said for having to be held accountable for one's actions, something that didn't happen here at home. One thing that ASR is doing right, IMO is that they encourage positive behavior with rewards ( for ex. earning an i-pod). Sure there were consequences for negative behavior, mostly writing assignments which he hated. If he were trully mistreated, I don't understand why he would want to go back. Time will tell. But I absolutely do believe every word Nalex has said and yes, the picture she paints is not a pretty one. And would I have sent my son there if I knew these things were happening, of course not. For now, I do believe him that it wasn't some horrible place where he was miserable 24/7.
Oz girl:
--- Quote from: ""Anne Bonney"" ---Why? Why do you want to run anyone off that isn't militantly opposed to programs? I personally AM militantly opposed to all of them but I'd like to be able to carry on a discussion with someone who thinks differently. Someone like Karen or Sue, yes....they should be slammed every time they post, but someone coming on and talking about their actual experiences, even though I may vehemently disagree with them, should be afforded the opportunity to explain why they feel the way they do. It makes for interesting debate, which I believe is the whole point of a forum, no?
--- End quote ---
I agree whole heartedly anne. i also find it ironic that someone who claims to hate programmes is using bully tactics not dissimilar. Any comment that any poster makes which he does not like is considered trolling and results in a psycho personal attack.
My question to Nylex is what good do you think ASR did for you?
do you think the same positive thing could have been achieved at home without the programme?
If so how?
How was the costa rica trip for you?
Anonymous:
Why is it that when we shared these same sort of positive comments about Carlbrook we were trashed and the whole thing became another beating up of KareninDallas? butterfly and I had valid things to say, and re-reading the threads it appears others did as well, but got run off or had their contact information spewed all over the threads.
you act like Milk is some kind of exception- he is the way everyone saying the slightest good thing about a school is treated now matter what. Go back to the other ASR or Carlbrook discussions- its the same thing over and over.
no-I could not accomplish at home what I did at Carlbrook. i did whatever I wanted at home and wouldn't listed to anyone. At Carlbrook I had to, just as theis guest parent is saying about ASR. It's the same thing.
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