Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Aspen Education Group
ASR
Oz girl:
I would say that no parent can really know for sure what goes on in a programme or speak for their kid because they were not there. How many parents really knows what happens on a day to day basis when their kid is at a normal day school, or a regular boarding school? it is impossible because no kid tells their parents everything.I had loving parents annd a close family but of course they did not get told everyting that happened at school. This is because Adolescence is about breaking away to some extent. When you take this ordinary fact of life and add an environment where a kid has to be outwardly enthusiastic to progress no parent can possibly get the whole truth from their kid only what they want to hear.
But a kid can give you their perspective. One thing i note is that many kids who have been in a programme and feel there were some benefits is that they dont often actually deny the awful bits. therefore it is better to ask how the good parts if any could actually happen without the need to be sent to some crass cash cow which at best controls thoughts and at worse does fucking dreadful things that anyone with a heart would not inflict on their worse enemy. Just because I am not going to deny a kids experience does not mean that i like much about this meanspirited and exploitative industry.
Anne Bonney:
--- Quote from: ""Guest"" ---Why is it that when we shared these same sort of positive comments about Carlbrook we were trashed and the whole thing became another beating up of KareninDallas? butterfly and I had valid things to say, and re-reading the threads it appears others did as well, but got run off or had their contact information spewed all over the threads.
you act like Milk is some kind of exception- he is the way everyone saying the slightest good thing about a school is treated now matter what. Go back to the other ASR or Carlbrook discussions- its the same thing over and over.
no-I could not accomplish at home what I did at Carlbrook. i did whatever I wanted at home and wouldn't listed to anyone. At Carlbrook I had to, just as theis guest parent is saying about ASR. It's the same thing.
--- End quote ---
No, I've talked with you guys about Carlbrook before. It starts out just like what I try to do here but then it really is either Karen or someone similar and then you get trashed and run off. And if by some chance I am mistaken, the opportunity is here now...in the appropriate Carlbrook thread of course. Carpe diem. If Milk comes along and trashes you, ignore him and deal with those that aren't. But as soon as we find out you're Karen, Sue or one of the other ST or PURE idiots that we've dealt with time after time, I'll be right there alongside Milk trashing away and I'm sure I won't be alone. There's a difference between someone truly asking for information or talking about their real experiences and the bullshit you spit out.
Anne Bonney:
I just went back and re-read the last few pages of that thread you're referring to. You and Butterfly had plenty of opportunity to carry on a discussion about it. We started to. I asked questions. They were ignored and you were exposed. The conversation might have actually gone somewhere if you hadn't shown up and been the fucking moron that you are.
nalex18:
--- Quote from: ""Oz girl"" ---
--- Quote from: ""Anne Bonney"" ---Why? Why do you want to run anyone off that isn't militantly opposed to programs? I personally AM militantly opposed to all of them but I'd like to be able to carry on a discussion with someone who thinks differently. Someone like Karen or Sue, yes....they should be slammed every time they post, but someone coming on and talking about their actual experiences, even though I may vehemently disagree with them, should be afforded the opportunity to explain why they feel the way they do. It makes for interesting debate, which I believe is the whole point of a forum, no?
--- End quote ---
I agree whole heartedly anne. i also find it ironic that someone who claims to hate programmes is using bully tactics not dissimilar. Any comment that any poster makes which he does not like is considered trolling and results in a psycho personal attack.
My question to Nylex is what good do you think ASR did for you?
do you think the same positive thing could have been achieved at home without the programme?
If so how?
How was the costa rica trip for you?
--- End quote ---
After ASR I no longer acted out. I used to lash out at my family but I don't do that much now. Unfortunately, as for the underlying causes of my outward behaviors, ASR did not do much.
Costa Rica was hard physically as well as emotionally. It was hard for me to enjoy such a beautiful place under the circumstances.
Anonymous:
My son was at ASR when base camp existed (he hated it) and he really changed a lot in Costa Rica (he apparently loved it.) He has written many essays (in others schools--he was only 15 when he left ASR) and I can think of no reason he would "lie" subsequently. He loved CR. I can certainly agree that giving the party line back could be a serious problem if groups were as coercive as described but that my son was still writing about CR in college admission essays seems uncoerced to me.
My son kept all his written work--even the self study which I guess was a severe punishment, although he did not describe it as such at the time. However, reading it (with him) years later, he explained his thought processes and it seems that he gained from putting his thoughts into writing. If he had to sit that would have been fine with him--standing at a meeting would not have been. However, the content of the self-study really seems to be the point and it is self-evidently valuable to him and to me, sharing it later.
I agree te education was mediocre but since my son did not like school anyway, I don't think there was a lot lost in 14 months. He did better in school upon returning home, so I think his increased motivation for living allowed him to catch up whatever was poorly taught (or not taught) at ASR. His SAT scores were fine but maybe they would have been anyway with or without ASR.
Currently my son is 19 and a student in NYC. He is in contact with several members of his peer group and most are doing OK--the exceptions seem to be those with heavy drug problems when they entered. That was not a problem for my son but I wondered when he was there if those students who were clearly addicted to drugs were well served in the program at ASR.
I think program match is important. I did not use an educational consultant. I wanted a program that was structured but not strict b-mod, had no sports teams and had an "artsy" student population where violence was not tolerated. The day before our first family resolution, a member of the peer group was kicked out for hitting someone. Although I was sorry for that boy, I was very glad my son was in a program where that would happen; if my son had felt bullied, he never would have opened his mouth.
While he was there, my son filed a complaint in writing against the PE teacher because he thought he was too much like a drill sergeant. This complaint was treated seriously and the PE teacher left. My son was depressed and rather shy (but very compassionate) so it is hard for me to reconcile what I am reading with him filing a complaint. If he had felt unsafe, he would not have done that.
Finally, I thought the consulting psychiatrist's approach to medication was cautious (which is good) and far better than we had experienced in the community--where meds are thrown around too freely IMO. Like another parent, my son had a say in his meds--mainly trying to find one that would lift the depression with the fewest side effects.
In short, I know no program is above criticism but getting away from the public school bullies (and then finishing h.s. at a private day school) gave my son the break he needed to get some perspective that adulthood could work for him if he could survive childhood.
As far as the person who said parents were not supposed to come to the weekends?? Every parent of the kids in the peer group was there including divorced parents who were not otherwise speaking. One child's parent could not go the CR and she appeared unhappy about that. Every other family had one or both parents in CR.
I was directed to this site by someone who is very confused about what to do for her son--she has exhausted local options and she fears the looming drug exposure in high school (with justification I think.) She knows me and my son well. She knows that I didn't just want to get rid of him for a while--and she can see how he has changed from a highly problematic young teen into a functional young adult. I am interested in whether ASR positively contributed to that change--or as someone stated, he "just grew up." Some of each is possible--but I fear that at home with the bullies, the huge high school, and the potential for serious drug use, and suicidality, he would not have survived to grow up.
Just a Mom
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version