Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > World Wide Association of Specialty Programs and Schools (WWASPS)
Sexuality
CCM girl 1989:
Thanks you guys! I'm glad that not everyone feels the same way as that ANON person does about me!
I realize that posting such intimate details on my past can bring out the meanies, and bullies. Hey, that's life! I'd rather parents out there know the truth, and the reality of what can happen.
Have a great day!
Labyrinth:
It is sad but funny, my sons father actually put him in there because he said that our son was having sexual thoughts..lets see a 13 year old boy having sexual thoughts??? That does not seem odd! I will get him out as soon as the dum judges hear my case...but he has wasted almost a year there, he is 15 now and it seems worse to me to be subjected to all boys..mostly older. Either way he didnt need to be there but I have told this story in another post...no one likes to hear anything twice.
Bigot: One fanatically devoted to one's own group, religion, race, or politics and intolerant of those who differ.
Webster's
--- End quote ---
Anonymous:
I had healthy relationships with girls before my experience at RMA. When I arrived...I was a "pretty boy" albeit a virgin also. I was raised by my mother and grandmother to have respect for women. Being that I was a pretty boy, I was put on bans from all of the attractive girls there for about the first year (or they were put on bans from me)
so how has that affected me over the last couple decades? I can't seem to cross the line from friendship to intimacy with a woman that I am attracted to as the old RMA way of thinking seems to have quite a grip on me.
Goodtobefree:
Thanks to my time at the Academy at Swift River I have a number of sexual/intimacy issues. I have no problems socializing with strangers, making new friends, talking about any number of topics, except when it comes to romance. If I have no interest in someone, I have no problem. But because of the rules at ASR that forbid relationships, all sexual interaction, excessive body contact such as too much hugging, holding hands, etc., I am completely incapable of subtly expressing my interest in someone, or perceiving their level of interest. I either have to blurt out the whole "duhhhh, I like you" line, or avoid the topic completely. Any of my sexual interactions only happened if the other person made the first move.
It's funny, I can make a speech in front of a crowd without any preparation, make friends with almost anyone I meet, and I have an almost uncanny ability to get people I barely know to open up to me. I don't know how it works, but I've had a lot of acquaintances and almost complete strangers tell me things they've never told anyone else, because they say the feel comfortable. My skill with conflict resolution has diffused countless fistfights. My confidence and my silver tongue are two of my most salient attributes. But for some reason, I just can't flirt with either sex. I can't pick up signals, I don't have a clue how to give them, and I think a lot of this has to do with coming into the sexual parts of adolescence just as I was being sent to ASR. Right when I was starting to notice sexuality in general, my own specifically, ASR was sending a very strong message against sex, romance, etc. Most of the kids there had issues with being raped, molested, abused by a significant other, or watched spousal abuse by their parents. Add it all up, and most of my formative opinions and feelings on sex (at least those that develope at that point in a young man's life) were very negative. And post ASR I had a ridiculous amount of catching up to do, the social skills that I should've developed regarding sex were nonexistant.
I've never been in a relationship that lasted more than a few weeks/months. I'm 21 and still a virgin, since I've passed up numerous opportunities. I don't agree with it, but I can't seem to shake free of the ASR teachings in this area. They never said "no sex before marriage", but they were pretty much pushing that kind of mentality. If you absolutely HAD to have sex, it should be after being in a long term monogamous relationship, which you should wait a while after ASR to get into. Every time I've chosen not to have sex, it was from fear that I'd have horrible regrets about not waiting for the right person. Add the paranoia and trust issues that I have from my stay there, and every time I've thought about having sex with someone, the thought process has involved fear of the experience meaning nothing to them, and getting my heart broken, or feeling used and dirty. I think I've made a good choice in waiting, but only because I think that if I don't deal with some of these issues first, I'll end up paying for it later. I think if I'd had sex just to do it, I'd regret that as well, since my ability to enjoy intimacy is crippled at best, but mostly nonexistant. For the better part of my 5 years out of ASR, I've been almost entirely asexual, incredibly lonely, and totally unsure about what I should do. Thanks ASR, maybe I'd be better off if you'd just cut my nuts off. At least then I wouldn't have any clue what I'm missing out on.
Anonymous:
Good to be free...I have been reading your posts and it is amazing how they mirror my experiences...yeah...I post anonymously but it is only because I am still relatively new to this site and I just don't feel comfortable exposing myself...even though many seem to have the same if not similar situations.
Like you...I am also incapable of subtly expressing interest in someone and to perceive their level of interest (if any) I need to be hit in the head with a brick.
sometimes...I find myself hoping that a girl that I am interested in will blurt out the "duhhh, I like you" line as you refer to.
I am grateful to have somebody like yourself on the board that puts a voice to the issues I have dealt with for what seems like an eternity.
Thanks for joining....and don't cut your nuts off just yet...there has got to be a way to beat these issues.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version