Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Troubled Teen Industry
Three Springs Alumni
Nihilanthic:
I seriously doubt it was a parent asking a reasonable question. No regular person uses those terms in that manner. It sounded like someone trolling or someone from that program trying to stir shit up (lawyer for LIBEL lawsuits, viral marketing, what have you).
Also, what she said was vague, generalized and full of BS. Ok, so you want your child to succeed and be excellent and have self esteem. Uh, who doesnt? "Self esteem" is no reason to be incarcerated nor is it going to be helped by BEING incarcerated. So yeah, when I see, hear, etc a duck, its a fuckin' duck. And yeah, I am being a bit of a jackass right now :grin:
--- Quote ---On 2005-10-02 07:48:00, Nihilanthic wrote:
"Three Springs Waygookin says you need to go have a taco.
Our Constitution is in actual operation; everything appears to promise that it will last; but in this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Ben Franklin Letter to M. Leroy, 1789.
"
Will you take me for ice cream after? My mom won't because she doesn't care about me.
--- End quote ---
Yes, I will. Strawberry is my favorite, whats yours?
Come in the evening, or come in the morning; Come when you 're looked for, or come without warning.
-- Thomas O. Davis (1814-1845): The Welcome.
--- End quote ---
Helena Handbasket:
--- Quote ---You certainly seemed to have read more into the simpleton advice that was there. So I assume you think the "makeover and ice cream" is fantastic advice?? Oh wait, you are going to act as interpreter and tell us what Niles REALLY meant to say.
--- End quote ---
Actually, I said I think Niles was describing the first step in parental involvement. That's my interpretation of what he said. Just like I interpreted your words, "Therapy, Counseling, etc" as way over the top when it comes to dealing with everyday teen angst.
--- Quote ---Gee - ever stop and think when you take a child who thinks they are ugly to get a "makeover", you are confirming in their mind that you think they ARE ugly and need a makeover??? Ever think that going to the salad bar with a kid that thinks they are fat may be reenforcing that thought? Ever think that if the kid IS fat, it may (or may not be) a symptom of something else, and not just a love of Oreos?
--- End quote ---
Yes, and that's what I was trying to tell you. If a kid's weight problem is due to something other than a love of Oreos, it's up to the parent to get to the bottom of it, then figure out what to do about it. The point was that too many parents are to QUICK to seek outside help.
So what if it is in fact true the kid could use a little color, a different hairstyle and a little less junk in the trunk? What's your solution, lie to them and say "No, honey, you look fabulous!"?? Yeah, of course you don't say "Thats right you ugly little twit, for diety's sake, DO something with yourself!" Because they already found something they don't like about themselves, but they may not know what to do about it. It's your job as a parent to help fix that little glitch that's affecting their self-esteem.
"Self Esteem" has more than one dimension. Some kids are perfectly fine being great students and rather plain in looks, and some kids are okay with the fact that they look great, but they're a little slow on the uptake. If they're OK, leave them the hell alone! But when something bugs them - why not help them do something about it?
Kids aren't dumb, they're pretty self aware, and when you lie to them, you only make matters worse. If you guide the kid in whatever area - hairstyle, clothing that makes them look and feel better, pointing them in the right direction as far as study habits go, etc etc... you're validating their appraisal of the sitation, and maybe boosting their self-esteem in that they're not totally delusional in thinking there's a problem.
All the above is with the assumption that the kid has a need for this - and isn't anorexic or falling into a body dysmorphic disorder or some kind of OCD where they must excel in every subject or they'll attempt suicide. THAT is pathological.
--- Quote ---
And how did you make the flying leap to isolating the kid? or a psychiatric emergency? I never came CLOSE to saying anything like that. I believe if you READ my post, you will see I said "therapy, counseling, or whatever is needed to help the child"."
--- End quote ---
I said that because you throw around "Therapy and counseling" as if they're a part of family night! Not everyone needs THERAPY! Some kids just need an adult to LISTEN, hear them, and help them with the issue at hand. In most cases, this adult is the parent, or someone close to them. But when you start shoving a kid off to a counselor or a therapist, who is a stranger, you're essentially telling that kid, "Ya know what - I don't want to deal with this. Your problems are nothing to me."
--- Quote ---Amazing how you can twist Niles' words into something that sounds a little more reasonable (at least on the surfact), but take mine and twist them into something outlandish.
--- End quote ---
I didn't twist Niles' words - I used my own. His post I agreed with, yours, I didn't. I'm not into personal attacks. If you come up with something I agree with, you'll be the first to know.
--- Quote ---Ever stop and think you're a fucking moron? What a dope."
--- End quote ---
I don't know if this is yet another anon... which is why it makes things a lot easier if anons would just register a bullshit name just so we can keep the bagheads straight... anyway... Yes, I have paused many times to ponder whether or not I might be a fucking moron. I never claimed to be perfect, and I'm sure there are times when I'm totally off the mark.
In this case, I disagree with your assessment of me being a dope, moron.
I give as good as I get :wink:
Helena Handbasket:
Since everyone seems to be in a "self esteem" crisis these days, I figured I'd throw in this interesting read.
http://www.sciam.com/print_version.cfm? ... 414B7F0000
Troll Control:
Ms. Basket,
The "What a dope" comment was for the anon poster who was on the "Did you ever think..." rant, not you.
Sorry...
Helena Handbasket:
--- Quote ---On 2005-10-02 09:10:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Ms. Basket,
The "What a dope" comment was for the anon poster who was on the "Did you ever think..." rant, not you.
Sorry..."
--- End quote ---
Ok ok... I wasn't sure... Moron comment withdrawn! :smile:
Now go get a name! It's not hard - surely you don't really think my name is Ms. Basket! :grin:
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