Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum
How did you tell your children, spouse about the Seed?
Anonymous:
When I said bad boys, I meant boys who did not treat my friends well.
I know what you mean about romance. The whole lightning strikes thing. It would be hard for me to accept a relationship with someone nice just for companionship. But maybe that's just because my last relationship was pretty intoxicating. (Incidentally, he was also in the same program I was in at a different time, and felt the same way about it. So we shared that common draw.)
But the thing about sexual interest. It seems to me that men(please correct me if I'm wrong) are more easily sexually interested and thus, have more options. Good looks doesn't necessarily do it for me, and certainly not money. The guy who wanted to marry me before I married my ex was great looking, a great friend, and well off, but I wasn't attracted to him. He felt like my brother. I would have killed to feel the slightest bit of sexual interest in him just because in every other way he was my best friend.
(And yes, he did know about the program and never judged me.)
Ideally, you should be with someone you jibe with enough to share these aspects of your life freely, but maybe you have to suss out first what to share and when, and if the person even has the emotional complexity to understand it. That might sound snotty, but the truth is, I've met a lot of people who just wouldn't get it. And there is nothing worse than feeling lonely WITH the person you're supposed to feel bonded to.
shanlea
GregFL:
--- Quote --- :wstupid: :wstupid:
Oh and if you don?t quit you will force me to start a ?benefits of younger men? thread just for revenge. I am serious this gun is loaded.
"
--- End quote ---
Hehe....go right ahead. We all know young men have a hair trigger sexually, no sense of style or knowledge of women, and to top it off displaced anger issues.
Benefits?
I don't think so. But you are dead on about the seguay into the fantasy that people from the "outside" aren't in touch with their emotions as much as people who went thru synanon style treatment. That is just a self promoted fantasy that was drilled into our heads so much, some of us still believe it.
GregFL:
--- Quote ---On 2005-10-22 18:34:00, Antigen wrote:
"Yeah, you know what I'm talkin' about. If you just get an urge to go for a walk all alone, how many other people have to approve your plans? Me? Four or so. Single people? Nobody, you don't even think of it. You're free! Maybe lonely at times, and burdoned w/ the onus of remedying that. But free none the less.
A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.
Samuel Clemens "Mark Twain", American author and humorist
--- End quote ---
"
--- End quote ---
And that in a nutshell is what I am struggling with right now. It is wonderfull to have a partner, I have even started taking an interest in my house again. I am not lonely ever, but man, that freedom thing, even the freedom to read a magazine without being asked rapid fire questions every time you get to the point where you are connected to the topic!
Antigen:
Eh, ya get used to it.
If we choose to violate the rights of the innocent in order to discover and act against the guilty, then we have transformed our country into a police state and abandoned one of the fundamental tenants of a free society. In order to win the war on drugs, we must not sacrifice the life of the Constitution in the battle.
--US District Judge H. Lee Sarokin
--- End quote ---
Stripe:
Well, not trying to put a damper on the young girl/old girl discussion...however, we all have baggage by the time we reach and mature into our middle-age years. For me, now it's just a matter of whether I carry it with me everywhere I go, stumbling and fumbling about trying to keep up with it all - or, if I can, leave it behind.
I have one really true and kind friend - and she has helped me along this path - and so have the participants in this forum. But the fact that she's not ever been in any kind of program at all showed me that regular people have the same kinds of problems and disconnects and yet, they seem to get through the trials and tribulations without blowing up their worlds. This has gone a long way towards helping me normalize and de-sensitize (my reactions) in my other personal and professional relationships.
Once I started to understand I had just as much baggage as the "unacceptable" men I was dating, my quest changed from trying find that perfect someone (no baggage/no problems) to finding someone who could accept me and mine and whose baggage I did not mind tripping over now and again. Not that I was searching out any hurting person to save mind you, I just recognized that I was no "pic-a-nic" to be with either.
Proud to say I am on my second marriage now and we are making it work. The first was in 1982-84 and was not good for either party. The second did not happen until 1997. I took a significant break between for several reasons - mostly because I was in college, developing a career and raising a child and I was not willing to let my responsibility to my family take precedenece over the needs of a date "to be spontaneous." Here's cute dating story for those of you with other responsibilites (ie family, job, school): I actually had one guy tell me the reason he could not see me anymore was because I could not be spontaneous. That line might actually have been a credible breakup line given the amount of stuff that was going on in my life (school, job, family) had it not been for the fact that his idea of spontaneity was going to his house to watch television when he rang me up onthe phone.
It did take a while for me to find a person who could accept me and my family as well as my seed-induced bullshit. Believe me when I say my "issues" still come up and most recently it has shown itself in the form of instant and complete rejection for seemingly minor transgressions. Again, all related to losing house and home in last year's hurricane - for lack of a better term, the events caused me to regress to what I consider the most negative of seed-induced behaviors - the ability to judge, judge harshly, and then walkaway. Really stupid behavior on my part.
Stress and upheaval seem to be the factors the cause me to fall back into old patterns. But I find it is much less frequent as time goes by. That, and I have to make a real effort not to fall back into stupid behavior when the going gets tough. Just because I have been X-way for 30 years doesn't necessarily make it right. I have had to learn to be more accepting of the human foibles in myself, my loved ones, my friends, my neighbors, the FEMA workers - everyone. I am nowhere near perfect and admittedly can be a big ass at times, but I do enjoy the challenge of learning to be a loving human being and not function on the automaton level.
And Greg, relax man ! It will be okay. RELAXXXX :grin: [ This Message was edited by: Stripe on 2005-10-23 12:12 ]
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version