Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum
FEAR ITSELF
Antigen:
Stripe, are you talking about The GreenHouse? If so, you'd have to remember Jimmy Grinnis and his magical tamborine.
Errors, like straws, upon the surface flow;
He who would search for perls must dive below.
Prolougue (from preface to
the Panther Book)
John Dryden, All for Love, Prolougue
--- End quote ---
MG:
I don't actually expect an apology. What a joke to think someone like that would be capable of such. I just hope She hears me, or of it. I would love a frigin explanation that's for sure. Even if anonymous. You may be right also about the control thing. I had started to not just drive straight to the seed after work but would drive around in my car a little for a minute to myself......doing absolutely nothing. Maybe an extra twenty minutes. So they took the car away. I think the one thing I did was play with myself.....LOL. You are very right about the sexuality thing. Where the hell were all those teenage hormones supposed to go? No interaction with the opposite sex really. Helped me a lot in life........yeah right!!!!!!! I married the third asshole I met and then serviced his cars, wrote his letters, washed his clothes, cleaned his house, made his meals, worked full time managing an office and came home and gave him every dime I made becasue, "we were saving for our future". Thank God the same way the seed threw me out with no explanation I caught him cheating and got out. This is a man who never touched me from the DAY we were married and I would have stayed and did for one year like that....a slave. Just like the Seed, and someone sit there and tell me that had NOTHING to do with the brainwashing the SEED did to me???????? I left the SEED at 20, was with the guy by 21 and married by 22. I was a virgin that lived in a bubble. A total sitting duck. The same as you here I had nothing in my life. NO FRIENDS at all. My childhood friend refused to ever speak to me again for what I had done to her. We grew up living next door to each other and then I refused to ever speak to her again and she never forgave me. I understand many seedlings married each other.......isn't this kind of like inbreeding??? I have had to deal with a lot of drug addicts in the area I am living in. I don't tell them, piss off I love you. That and the shirt and the pin was nothing but advertising for the seed. Maybe I would not have had the strength to hang around with people like that and not be influenced but isn't that what they should have been teaching. You can't hide under a rock in life. I treat everyone exactely the same. I am no God to judge who is good enough to deserve my respect as a human being and say they are shit because they have a problem. It went like this...."I don't want to have anything to do with you unless you go to the SEED and get straight. I love you" Not, I would like to be your friend but really can't associate with you when you choose to lead the life you do. Please find some kind of help for yourself or put your life on the right path becasue you are worth it" NO let's put EVERYONE in the SEED........more MONEY FOR ART! And if you care so much then why not sell the YACHT AND THE LIMO AND HELP SOME KIDS THAT HAVE NO SCHOOL CLOTHING, WHICH I SEE EVERY DAY. MY POOR MOTHER, VERY POOR AT THE TIME, RAISING FIVE KIDS ON HER OWN PAID FROM A REAL ESTATE DEAL $4,000 FOR ME AND $3,500 FOR MY BROTHER--SECOND KID DISCOUNT. Art Barker was busy out golfing. He never really sat down and talked to any of us and asked, so what are your goals, your dreams???? He was out golfing and dining, and boating, and was rarely ever there. Also I was no sucsess story either. I went through years from 21 to maybe 30 where I did my share of playing with C.
Let them play with the dogs. That is better suited to them. Now they have something to control that won't think for itself. Aslo, if you think there is not a lot of money and government funds in what they are doing now think again. How many links do they have to donate? Oh, and the free sandwiches for everyone thing really cracks me up! I guess they haven't lost their touch on getting the rest of the world to pay their way.
Antigen:
--- Quote ---On 2005-05-27 16:52:00, MG wrote:
Thank God the same way the seed threw me out with no explanation I caught him cheating and got out. This is a man who never touched me from the DAY we were married and I would have stayed and did for one year like that....a slave. Just like the Seed, and someone sit there and tell me that had NOTHING to do with the brainwashing the SEED did to me????????
--- End quote ---
I did the same gig twice. The second time, when I got it, was easier to digest. The SOB knew, to some extent, what he was doing to me. The first time was harder. He was not that bright, didn't get it, just running on instinct. And I had his child; much of my reason was very much a quit pro quo. The first time, I knew I could do better and thought I was doing him a favor (that he would repay by fidelity) by taking this needy soul in. The second time, I thought he was doing me a favor for some good reason. But, when the bill came due, I wasn't willing to pay in lifelong servitude. Had enough of that riot act already.
I met a true soulmate when I set out to make my own way and happened to find a fellow traveler who was about the same task. Could have done it w/o him and he would have done just fine w/o me too. But this has been fun and mutually comforting. For once, a major life decision of mine has played out for 20 years and I'll be damned if I can find a mistake in it.
I have found Christian dogma unintelligible. Early in life, I absenteed myself from Christian assemblies.
--Benjamin Franklin, American Founding Father and inventor
--- End quote ---
MG:
Hey Ginger,
I did the same in that I had his child. He was never a father to him and I raised him alone with no support although he was from a wealthy family. What you said about him being aware of what he was doing to me.........I asked him why don't you ever kiss me or touch me from the day we are married. His reply was, "If I had acted like this before would you have married me?" I said, "No". He said, "Well there, you have your answer." He intended to procure himself a slave and thought once I was pregnant I was a prisoner for life. Thank You, that I reverted back to my stronger self from the hardships I went through as a kid, and he provided me with the very excuse I needed. I think I had a very strong need to "take care of someone" to give me purpose and he was perfect...like I was his mother. It was beyond a nurturing quality of a woman, to a houskeeper/slave. Not only the way I grew up but being given the HONOR of cleaning the SEEDS toilets, ect. all those years............great training for self esteem...........hahaha I still get accused of being "Mother Mary/Mother Goose", which I like but it is much different today-----------I think. From all you put in here and on this whole site I suspect you are much the same, but at least the dedication today is for something constructive and not some trained robotic response for exploitation by the rich! The church needs a new Mercedes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The preacher need a new Yacht.......donate to my favorite cause ME! That is how I view Art and Libby...........phony whore mongers.
At least we got the kid:)
cleveland:
Oh yes, I had the bad marriage too. Although at first it wasn't too bad, it got worse over time because she was a needy child (I needed someone to take care of, someone to need me) and then she became an angry woman, blaming the world for everything, and thinking she was justified in taking whatever she wanted. She certainly did from me. I though she needed me, and was I shocked when she walked out the door, taking all of our savings with her (I worked and supported her in going to two different schools, two different careers, thinking once we get her settled it will be my turn. Guess what - it was never my turn!) When she left, I got right back on my feet and I have lived a good life. I am happily married today, knock on wood, and have a baby. Life is great. But I too came from a disfunctional, messed up family and at 19 I was desperate for validation, support, meaning - and what I got was being told what to do and that I was a lazy, selfish, into my head druggie. Little bits of self esteem were dribbled out to me over time, but I never was able to stand on my own two feet. Yes, and the sexuality control left me with little awareness when I left the seed at 26, hungry for love and so little resources. MMG, you tell it, girl!
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