On the contrary, my own sponsor told me to take it one day at a time and the dsire to want to quit is the best way to start. Now once on the path that is not eh only thing that keeps a person sober, certainly. And I think thats true of many AA people i know.
Thoughts progress into action. If you desire to quit then you will. You will also take the necessary steps to stay quit. Taking things slowly is better than rushing it and failing, which is what I do alot of times. I get too overwhlmed with the whole thing that I end up giving up. As long as I can see a clear path and can take it slowly I do well. I think alot of my recovering friends, not just in AA, can testify to that!
Thats not true. What code? Ive met so many different peopel in AA. Not one alike. Soem are old bikers, some are housewives, some are kids, some are students, some are really bad alcoholics, some are getting to the place where they are going to be really bad, ect. Ive never heard one person say "If you arent like everyone else in AA, you'll die!" I do hear people say if you keep drinking the way you are, you will die but we all know that.
Thats just not true. People drink to numb out feelings, to forget their problems all the time. Not every alocohlic can just not drink and everything is ok and all their problems are gone. to the ones that can good for them , but alot of us cant. I'm sorry you seem to have had bad experiences with AA, but where I live the meetings are caring, open, and understanding. Some suck, but I dont go to those. Every state, every city even has differetn meetings. Maybe you couldnt find one you really liked. It took me along time to find ones I felt comfortable in. I think you are right that some people can just quit and its all hunky dory, but for alot of peopel there were reasons we drank and we go to AA to find out why. Not to mention all the internalization and work Ive done outside of AA.
What does "IMO" mean? Im not up on the computer lingo. That is because they are powerless over alcohol, not the ability to change, but over alcohol. It says in the big book if you can stop drinking, our hats are off to you for doing something we couldnt do. I think alot of people who try to quit that arent in AA find it hard to quit that easily too. I know its hard for you to comprehend the whole having a reason to drink, but in order to help myself, I needed to first address the reasons why I drank exceesivly and then I could work on that and make sure it wasnt ever a reason again.
Just dont drink is something alot of sponsers and friends do say to the fiending person in question. but they also ask, "Do yo know why this is being triggered?" "What happened today?" ect. That dont just say "Yeah, so dont drink and it will all be ok. Bye now!"
I agree, therapy works as does good friends. But even the best of friends wiht the best of intentions sometimes make things worse when they dont know what its like to have a craving and overcome it. They give stupuid advice, or unintentionaly patronize you cuz they dont understand. If you have friends who have done it and overcame it wihtout AA and can give good advice than good. But alot of people who havnt been in your shoes as an addict cant understand.
They suggest they do it a certain way, but no one held a gun up to their head and forced them to do it their way. No one ever did that to me anyway! In a lockdown facility maybe yes. But in a voluntary thing like AA? No way. I dont know who youve been talking to but they were not sober. Any sober and real person in AA would let you make your own choice and the things they say are merely suggestions.
A religion? Thats extreme angry pants. I think your anger is clouding your ability to have a calm discussion. Geez you must have met some butt holes in AA for oyu to hate it this much! Its funny but I live in Colorado in a very religious town and it is really annoying. But thankfully we have openminded people here too and those are the meetings I attend.
Ive never heard them say that. And besides, I dont agree with everything the big book says and Im still here. I choose to pick what fits me adn go wiht it. I choose not to embrace the things I find stupid. And like I said the big book says if you can stop drinking 0on your own or if you can drink in a controlled way then good for you! But they couldnt do that so this is what they tried.
I think that is far fetched to say the people I know and myself (whom you know nothing about) could have done something differently and would have been just fine. You dont know me from adam and cant with any validity say that what you said holds any truth. What worked worked and Im glad it did. I might have chosen a different path, but I didnt and its a moot point anyway, cuz it already happened.
