NIHILANTIC Who are you?

[Anonymous]

Above post was me. BSarro. Have to remember to sign my name.

[Cayo Hueso]

On 2005-03-03 14:36:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I asked a psycotherapist friend of mine to do some psycoanalysis on this Niles person. She said Niles is acting out anger from his past that he has not been able to let go of.He is angry that he never went to a progam to get the help he needed, thus resulting in the person he is today. He does not want others to get help becuse he feels it is not right if they get help because he never got help. Misery loves company.She said it is time for Niles to let go and redirect his anger to helping instead of his current path. That was her psycoanalysis of Niles. "

Third party, anonymous, internet psycho-therapy! I smell a new faction of the self help industry coming.  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:

Pray: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
--Ambrose Bierce

[BSarro]

It's the truth you smell. I can only hope that someday all of you message board people claiming to want to help see that they are wrong and redirect their behavior in a positive fashion that is REALLY helpful, not in their current thinking of helpfulness.

[Cayo Hueso]

I don't want any help from you nor am I offering you any.

Everybody's lost just waiting to be found. Everyone's a thought just waiting to fade.
-- Billy Corgan of The Smashing Pumpkins

[Nihilanthic]

On 2005-03-03 14:36:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I asked a psycotherapist friend of mine to do some psycoanalysis on this Niles person. She said Niles is acting out anger from his past that he has not been able to let go of.He is angry that he never went to a progam to get the help he needed, thus resulting in the person he is today. He does not want others to get help becuse he feels it is not right if they get help because he never got help. Misery loves company.She said it is time for Niles to let go and redirect his anger to helping instead of his current path. That was her psycoanalysis of Niles. "

 :rofl:  :rofl:

Youre funny! You really are!

Now, time to tell you whats really going on in my mind:

First, I am angry about my past. I had a shitty ass childhood. Due to my father and the schools I was in being apathetic to me and my needs and problems (despite it being their JOBS to help me) and having little to no aid with the fact that I was an undiagnosed autistic with no social skills and limited abilities to communicate, it was misery most of the time. Dealing with my so-called peers being either exasperated wth my misunderstandings, or being outright malicious at me, and a lot of the adults in my life were uncaring or unwilling to offer any aid.

One time in 5th grade I chewed out my teacher for being such an apathetic bitch. I was thrown on my back by a few bullies onto the stumps from some bushes and small trees recently cut down to the ground to clear it, and I was cut and bleeding. I told her and she just looked at me and went back to yacking with the other teachers. The principal of that school gave her a piece of his mind for me, at least. He was a good guy.

Middle school... utter misery, the one good day was the last.

Highschool was different. By then I'd grown large enough to physically intimidate the bad apples out of bothering me too much. Turns out when respect and friendship and acceptance doesnt work, a counter-threat does. Ironically this lead to them respecting me.

The teachers and faculty didnt talk down to me anymore, and I had self-taught at least rudimentary social skills by then. I had always been intelligent and somehow perceptive (but not able to communicate well) and earned their respect. Also, if a teacher pulled shit on me, I was tall enough to look down MY nose to THEM and tell them they were full of it, and they had to listen, because I was right. Fortunately, it was only Mr Coleman, and he HAD to be smoking something or just acting like a putz to get out of any real responsibility.

So... yeah, guess what? I AM pissed off. On top of my bullshit school experience I had an apathetic somewhat (not as bad as the shit I see her) abusive father who my mom booted out when I was 9. I have ZERO tolerance for people hurting kids because when I was a kid I was hurt. I suffered constantly.  I cant STAND watching kids suffer. I just got put on prozac instead of having my real problems addressed... treating the symptom and not the problem, as usual.

I also have the utmost contempt for bullshit from "authority". I can not stand people in positions of power not doing their job responsibly and not caring for the people they have authority over. I cant stand watching them hurt kids. I cant stand them simply getting off on their authority, and control, and saying shit like "respect for authority" or using excuses such as "I am the adult" or "I am the parent" to excuse purely arbitrary decisions.

I'm not out to prevent others being helped, far from it! I want them helped into having self esteem, HAPPINESS (which people seem to forget as important these days, as suffering is 'character building') a true actual bond with their family intsead of adolescent servitude, and none of that bullshit about how bad it is that "teens" (I HATE THAT WORD) are too "entitled" these days!

I want to PREVENT these fucking programs which push ALL of my buttons and seem to be nothing more than institutionalized versions of childhood misery for the sole purpose of breaking a child and making them OBEDIENT. Maybe I am angry becuase I wasnt helped until I as 19 and really learned how to communicate with and understand people! But thats hardly ammunition for me to sadistically try to go out and try to stop others from being helped.

These stupid programs are NOT help and I'm not out to prevent help. I'm out to STOP THE FUCKING SUFFERING IN THOSE HELLHOLES and let them have a chance to get REAL HELP. I'd want them to have a REAL loving family and not some tough-love servitude-oriented bullshit where its all about the emotional and power gratification of the authority figures.

Let go of my anger? Sure, when I dont have to have the thoughts in the back of my mind of other children suffering worse than I did and I remember about how badly it hurt me, and what I went through cant compare to this bullshit. Period.

And as far as redirecting to helping... thats what I'm doing here! Helping the voices of reason drown out the idiots such as you, who just want to keep pushing programs either blindly or becuase youre been manipulated, that just continue to hurt children and teenagers in the name of obedience and pleasing the 'customers'.

I'm NOT letting go. I cant. I'm one of those rare stoics who care about others. I cant just forget the suffering of others.

To Ginger, Joyce, and anyone else I said I had to go on Hiatus... I'm having a lot of shit going on in my life. But I realized now that I will be able to work through this bullshit, but I wont fill my days fully. Plus, this will be in my mind, always. I'll remember this SHIT for the rest of my life. I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying involved in this until I die or this ends.

I wil admit, though, this ANONYMOUS posting did make me realize something. This is helping me reconcile my shitty past. I am acting out of anger, but so others wont suffer anymore. I didnt try to get Chi3 to open her eyes and get her daughter out because I wanted to hurt someone, I did it because I'm pissed at those who hurt people, especially kids, and I cant stand to see it happen anymore. If I help someone else I can let some anger go because I know I prevented someone from suffering the torment I faced.

The very atmosphere of firearms anywhere and everywhere restrains evil interference - they deserve a place of honor with all that's good.  
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/188301123X/circlofmiamithem' target='_new'>George Washington

[Helena Handbasket]

Wow! :nworthy:

[Deborah]

Your thinking and opinions are welcomed and appreciated.
Thanks for caring!

[Ruth Ann Newton]

On 2005-03-03 15:42:00, BSarro wrote:

"It's the truth you smell. I can only hope that someday all of you message board people claiming to want to help see that they are wrong and redirect their behavior in a positive fashion that is REALLY helpful, not in their current thinking of helpfulness."

I couldn't agree more!!  That's why we're opening the new faith based Straight Inc. by the Sea.  We'll re-direct that behavior REAL quickly!!

BSarro, all this crazy talk is just a by-product of their drug infested brains.  Not to worry, we'll have them fixed up in no time!!!!

[Erinys]

Distillation

Nihilanthic - Your post made me remember something from years ago.
 One sunny day someone left a glass jar of distilled water on a porch rail. The sun struck the jar and the water inside to create a focused ray that fell upon a pile of trash, leaves and discarded paint rags, on the ground below.

The pile smouldered and was flaming fiercely when the neighbor noticed and telephoned the householder. Burnt to hot white ash in minutes.

Your anger, pure and clean, is a lens! Keep it! Polish it!

(PS Don't let anyone tell you that you are a poor communicator, it's just that many folks are poor listeners, or maybe just don't like what you have to say.)

You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.

--Charles Austin Beard

[BuzzKill]

//I am acting out of anger, but so others wont suffer anymore//

This kind of anger is called righteous indignation.
One well known example is Christ's turning over the tables of the Temple vendors; and also, His often expressed anger with those in authority who proclaim their goodness and truth, when instead they are evil liars.

//(PS Don't let anyone tell you that you are a poor communicator, it's just that many folks are poor listeners, or maybe just don't like what you have to say.)//

I will second this. You communicate very well. Maybe you have more trouble getting your point across verbally, but you express yourself well in writing.

[Nihilanthic]

I *WAS* a poor communicator.

I'm on the neurotypical extreme of the autistic spectrum. Simple therapy made me a LOT better - so was finding someone similar to me but older than me (I always did better with older people) to socialize with and just have fun with. Amusingly because my life is apparently a comedy movie for some other universe, it was my best friends mom. We're IDENTICAL personality wise. :grin:

So, now, obviously, I can forumulate a idea and communicate it better, but sometimes I have difficulty putting into words what I'm thinking of. I suppose an english class and vocabulary might help, unless any old greek dialectic or rhetoric classes exist somewhere.  

It has ever been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues

--Abraham Lincoln

[Anonymous]

what does nihilantic mean? sorry, i am new today.

[Perrigaud]

Niles,
  Basically he's like sweet and sour sauce. He's someone that is very powerful. Some like him, some don't, some don't know. That's the way of the world.

[Anonymous]

but what does nihilantic mean? i dont mean to sound stupid but i am curious.

[Nihilanthic]

Short answer: it means nothing.

Longer answer: Nihil means nothing in latin.

Nihilanth, the root of my name, was a 'villain' in the game Half-Life, though after Halflife2 the conspiracy got about 5 times deeper... anyway, he was cool, with mind powers to bend space time and zap you like a bug, and he had some prophetic words that foretold the... orwellian mess that was Half-Life 2: "You will never know the truth.... You will be deceived..."

So, yeah, he was cool, and I needed to find a name for IRC. I tried Nihilanth but someone else took it. I just thought up the name "Nihilanthic" and it... was utterly unique and it just stuck.

Now, to take this even farther, while Nihil itself  literally means "nothing", I stumbled on the ideas of Nihilism... becuase of the name. I'm NOT a nihilist, however, sometimes I think like one, just for the intellectually rigorous methods it uses.

Basically, Nihilism is like this:
1. Nothing matters
2. Life has no meaning
3. Therefore, you have no baggage to "start out" with
4. Any meaning your life has is what you gave it
5. Any meaning any activity or object or 'noun' has is what you give it
6. Therefore life has the meaning you want it to have, or it could have nothing. The term given by philosophers to people who know life 'has no meaning' but still live it is "the absurd". I was absurd, then I realized I just want to live it to enjoy it and help people out if I could.

Now, again, I'm not a nihilist... but I do use that method of THINKING from time to time.

So, Nihilanthic had no meaning, and means nothing, but I give it meaning through my actions and how I speak and what I do here and in the real world.

Happy?

  :grin:

What kind of humanism expresses its reluctance to sacrifice military casualties by devastating the civilian economy of its adversary for decades to come?  
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0684855674/circlofmiamithem' target='_new'> Henry Kissinger