Anon, I see where you are going here; in terms that it does appear Spots raised an allegation that her grandchild's stepdad was abusive to her and that the mother (Spots daughter) apparently didn't intervene and/or purposely allowed it to happen. Unfortunately, it can be very difficult for "outsiders" (even relatives and close family friends) to challenge the way a child is raised by their parents at home or while they are in a program (see posts by Paige under ALA threads).
What's troubling to me is the fact this child, like so many others, may have been sent to a program as the answer to "bad" or even as alleged by Spots, "abusive" parenting.
Judging by information Spots has shared about her grandchild's experience at this program, it sounds like the child (again like so many others) was clearly NOT thriving in an environment that is anything but geared toward supporting the individualized needs of young people. How much thought went into the selection process, who knows? Most of these parents are not as concerned with important features and benefits like *safety and efficacy* as they are *controlling* the attitude and behavior of a child -- at any cost.
Now that she is out of the program and living with her grandparents, it sounds like she is getting a lot of love and is being well-cared for. Does it matter why she is there instead of with her parents? I don't think so because as far as I'm concerned, this is really a private, family matter AND it sounds like the child is doing just fine.
Whatever lessons it is you think Bad Parents need to learn should not be at the expense of a minor child's right to privacy. If a teen who is now an adult wants to sue their parents, that's a different story, and I agree that they have every right to do so, though a compelling case could be made that the parents were only doing what they thought was best.
The best scenario I can think of is for children not to be institutionalized without due-process. In other words, parents must not be allowed to lock their kids up in an institutionalized-style school or program without an independent evaluation (meaning someone who does not work for the institution or has a conflict of interest such as an ed con or independent referral agent).
Bad parents are why these programs exist and are full of mostly white, middle-to-upper-class teens.
Making an example out of any of them won't change the need for these programs, which is why activists are pushing for federal regulations mandating children be entitled to the same protection as adults from institutionalization without due-process.
Getting rid of the ed cons and independent referral agencies is another top priority, along with abolishing the teen escort (transport) business. Parents who put their kids in programs will have to escort their children themselves, not pay strangers to yank these kids out of their beds and haul them off in the middle of the night to God knows where.
