Author Topic: Everything was life or death  (Read 2108 times)

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Offline Cayo Hueso

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Everything was life or death
« on: March 24, 2004, 08:11:00 PM »
Did anyone else feel like that after getting out??  Every mistake I made was a "crisis that needed to be dealt with".  I've said before on here that my dad was a 'junior Newton'.  He had his head so far up Newts ass he could see out his navel....still believes in all the bullshit.  There was no room to grow or learn, everything was life or death.  How is a kid supposed to grow up if no one will let them make the mistakes that they need to in order to learn??  I felt like that place validated for my father all the things that disappointed him about me.  It gave him the reasons he needed for him to continue treating me the way he did.  Maybe that's why he IS still stuck in it.  If he wasn't, he'd have to take some responsibility for how I "turned out".  Funny how nothing I did to get in trouble was HIS fault, but ANYTHING my kids did to get in trouble was MY fault.  Where's the fucking logic in that??

Society in every state is a blessing, but Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one.
--Thomas Paine

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
t. Pete Straight
early 80s

Offline RTP2003

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Everything was life or death
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2004, 08:27:00 PM »
Straight looked at everything in extremes--black or white, with no middle ground.  Either you will 7 step or you will die, there are no other alternatives visible to them.  How narrow-minded, short-sighted, and foolish.  

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Your sponsor says it's OK for you to drink[ This Message was edited by: RTP2003 on 2004-03-24 17:28 ]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
RTP2003 fought in defense of the Old Republic

Offline Anonymous

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Everything was life or death
« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2004, 09:18:00 AM »
It validated every parents want to say "well I did everything I could for my child." It allowed all of our parents the freedom to blame not themselves but their children for once. Society always scrutinizes the parents when a kid turns bad. For example how many studies have been done on inmates and the instances of abuse in the home? Well Straight took any teen they could and pronounced us all "Druggies" then basically told the parents (especially out of town parents) to wash their hands of any responsibilities in our upbringing. It's a fascist parents dream for Godsake.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Dr. Fucktard

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Everything was life or death
« Reply #3 on: March 25, 2004, 03:57:00 PM »
Quote
On 2004-03-24 17:27:00, RTP2003 wrote:

"Straight looked at everything in extremes--black or white, with no middle ground.  Either you will 7 step or you will die, there are no other alternatives




It's true--the mortality figures for cop-outs and terminations runs somewhere around 97%, most from drug overdoses, many from STDs like AIDS, and many in alcohol related car crashes.  By contrast, most seven steppers are leading happy, productive lives and look back at Straight with fond, wistful memories.  I get thousands of letters each month from them, thanking me for getting them Straight and offering to name their children after Ruthie or me.  It's a truly touching testimony to what a great job we did at Straight.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
eenage Drug Use Is A Disease

Offline ehm

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Everything was life or death
« Reply #4 on: March 29, 2004, 12:48:00 PM »
For me, it was,  If I'm doing bad, or something goes wrong then,  ?I'm a piece of shit." ? ?My failures are my fault? -- ?Everything?s my fault? and the ever so popular -- ?I?ll never be happy.? I mean, how many years in a row can you hear the words, ?You got yourself where you are right now,? before it just becomes you? Or, ?YOU?RE A FUCK-UP?? chiming through your head. You forget what love feels like, if you ever felt it at all, and never get a chance to learn anything about ?you? yourself. Everything's just programmed in. Your life is run by the conveyer belt of time, and sleep isn?t even peaceful anymore. Life is now "program." There?s no escaping your own mind, or lack there of. All I wanted was to get out, and when I got out I was lost, and didn?t know myself, but I knew what they told me I was.

Ever seen the movie Bladerunner? In one scene Daryl Hannah, (a replicant) finds out her memory didn?t really exist, even her pictures were fake, and  her mind was just a memory card? That part of the movie has always gotten to me.  That?s how I?ve always felt. Like a ghost in a shell.  What?s less attractive than someone with no concept of self, and a shame based past, pre adult years? Who would want to talk about their highschool memories, when they were spent in a child drug war prison, a child prison camp, and a psyche ward? Half a decade of  my young life stolen from me, and then two decades to heal from them. It?s taken a long time to come to terms with all that stuff. To realize that my lack of opportunity, freedom, protection and love, were not things that would forever hold be back from achieving all of them, perhaps for the first time, some day.

Hope springs eternal.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Dr. Miller Newton

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Everything was life or death
« Reply #5 on: March 29, 2004, 02:21:00 PM »
No concept of self? Straight gave you the tools to get back your TRUE identity that you buried through your abuse of drugs. It's pathetic how little appreciation you have for the program. I look forward to seeing you on front row of the new, improved, all-ages Straight, Inc. v2.0.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Teenage Drug Use Is A Disease

Offline Anonymous

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Everything was life or death
« Reply #6 on: March 29, 2004, 05:32:00 PM »
Quote
On 2004-03-29 09:48:00, Maude wrote:

"Hope springs eternal."


Yes it does... :smile:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Antigen

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Everything was life or death
« Reply #7 on: March 29, 2004, 09:27:00 PM »
My mother tried to blame me for all the money she gave to those crack pots. I told her I could have saved her a bundle if she'd only have asked me.

If you think about why you hate me, you might find that it's not me.
--Antigen

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
~ Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Sweet Judy Blue Eyes