" From my observation on more than one occasion, Cheryl's control over the kids is gained by giving them the love they feel they are missing, befriending them and them cutting them to the quick by words and actions when they do something against "the rules." She just yanks the rug out from under them. The kids are there to learn trust, not to manipulate and to feel good about themselves so they make good choices in life. Some of the methods used by the Sudwicks seems very contrary to that goal."
That is a very important observation. It is my humble opinion that this is less about the money for them than you might think. It is about how it makes them feel, their standing, their egos. Yes the money is important to them, but they are getting more out of it than just money. As Ginger had posted one time, it takes a "special kind" of person to get into thought control.
I am about to tip my hand here as to why I hang out here. I see these brave kids posting and I was feeling guilty about what I wasnt saying.
I had an experience with the Sudweeks some 20 years ago. I worked for them and it was a nightmare. They hooked me by doing exactly what you said in your post. They were kind and loving and they filled a gap in my life. Once they had me isolated they were able to get me to the point where I was completly trusting. Then that proverbial rug was whipped out from under my feet.
I soon found I could not do anything right, I was always wrong, and each time it was twisted so that somehow I was hurting them and I was so messed up in the head by that point that I didnt know what to think.
The smallest of things was good for a manipulation. It alternated between me being the good dutiful daughter and the lowest scum on earth. Cheryl would freak out yelling and screaming, Mark would "save me" then lay guilt trips on me. I was afraid of Cheryl, and Mark, well that was probably worse because I looked to him as a father figure and his "disappointment" would cut me to the bone. I loved them both, they were not just employers, they told me I was like family, and I believed them.
It was so completely bizarre! In the end they betrayed me in a way that so completely broke my heart that it left me with emotional scars that to this day affect me in ways I cannot even articulate.
I was not a bad kid. I was not in trouble. I was just gullible and deeply in need of a father and mother figure. Sound familiar? For a long time I thought I was just a lousy employee and it was all my fault but years down the road and many accomplishments later I can see that it is not the case at all. I am probably but one of many former employees who got the treatment and live with the scars. By the way, I am not a "disgruntled employee" they will probably make it out as. I kept silent for 20 years. Few people know of my experience because I was so mortified by it I never put their employement on a single resume, never spoke of it except to family.
Please, continue to speak up. I spent a number of years trying to sort it out in my head as to what was them and what was my responsability. I had a difficult time getting to the point where I could say without reservation that these things were not my fault but rather the result of a psychological manipulation that was played out with cunning and purpose.
I hope for those of you dealing with this that you can sort it out by talking about it now so it doesnt take 20 years to acknowledge that you were not to blame. Trust in people is a hard thing to relearn when it has been so completely destroyed as it has been for most of you.
