What do you do if you analogetically speaking, are this paraplegic and sitting in the wheelchair in a room with the people that paralyzed you? What would you say or do? If you knew they were causing harm to others but you're a paraplegic now, so what would you do? Just sit there? Let them profit from creating paraplegics, knowing full well that you were victimized by them? Seems rather 'egotistical' of you or pompous or something like that. Sure, people have choices to make, but if they make good choices then they should be rewarded, not constantly 'wondering' all the time if people approve of them. There are a lot of side effects of the program that affect you and everyone else, even if you don't realize it. I wonder why you just sit there and let them create more 'paraplegics'.
What??? Whenever I am here in this forum, I AM in the room with the people that paralyzed me so to speak. It was those of you sitting behind the other computer monitors reading my words that restrained me, denied me, and drew blood from my flesh. It is your faces that I see in my nightmares. Yes, shame on Sembler, shame on Newton, shame on the suits, but it is your faces that I remember.
What in any of my posts implied that I am tolerant, or even advocate the program's continued grasp on today's youth? My posts aren't about advocating program philosophies or "letting them" do anything to anyone. My post was about my decision in life not to continue to be afflicted on the daily by my experience and how others that I know (including myself) at times decide to walk wounded. Some days, minutes, seconds are easier than others. Ultimately I decide whether I surrender or triumph. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. I try. I continue to try.
Things that traumatic can most definitely cause social issues that will be with someone for the rest of their natural born life, no matter HOW hard they try to change. Are you saying that is NOT true? The one thing I will say is this. Once a person lays the blame, it is up to them to do what they can to live. Sure. Do they have a right to keep laying blame? Absolutely, it's their struggle, their life and who am I to say otherwise. I myself would do my damnedest to move on but i certainly would never let a friend think I thought his issues were pathetic and he was using straight as an excuse. Because there is no way I could know that for sure.
I am not saying that trauma does not cause long term ramifications, quite the contrary. I have said time and time again that I live with yesterday's baggage each and every day. However, when I stub my toe, I don't blame STRAIGHT as in the analogy I used. THAT is what I mean by using the program as a pathetic excuse for shortcomings in life,
not that all sequela stemming from the program is pathetic (HEAR THAT)and
not that we should all just make a decision to "move on" from it. That is absolutely in no way what I inferred at all. There is a big difference. Some nights I wake up screaming, am I calling my own reaction to that traumatic experience pathetic? Not at all. If I stub my toe and once again blame the program because I was locked up so long I can't walk and talk at the same time, then I think that may border "pathetic". Nor am I judging what is and what is not "pathetic" in others. I simply said that it is easy for some folks, INCLUDING MYSELF FOR OVER A DECADE, to use the experience as an excuse. I
have stubbed my toe and related it to STRAIGHT, do you not think that is fucking pathetic? $tr8 is definitely responsible when I wake up in the middle of the night screaming but when I stub my fucking toe? That, my friend, is cut and dried, pure and simple, tried and true "pathetic".
Pirate acknowledged:
"I'll admit I used $tr8 as an excuse plenty, when I would've been better off not.....There are legitimate reasons why I struggle and yet there are times when I make excuses too. Such is life. Point taken.
and this is what I want to say. I am not saying that those that suffer are full of shit. I suffer daily. I make decision to carry on with my life in the manner which makes me happy on a daily basis. Where in the fuck does that judge anyone else or say how anyone else should be living their life, diva?
Once a person lays the blame, it is up to them to do what they can to live.
Sounds like decision making to me, diva. This is closer to what I am trying to get at here...Maybe I framed my post totally wrong. Many people including yourself have now summarized what I was getting at initially. Maybe I fucked it all up...once again. Wanna hear an example of a pathetic excuse...I'll blame STRAIGHT for this one, maybe if I would have gone to high school as a teenager I could have been more articulate and clear here. How legit is that? Maybe I really am condescending and judgemental but that sounds like I am using STRAIGHT as a pathetic excuse for my own inability to express my thoughts and opinion here in print, no? Pathetic?
When all is said and done, what do you care if someone, who you deem pathetic or at least their shortcomings, blames straight? How does that effect you exactly? Do you really think it will help them?
I don't deem anyone or anything here. I'm not judging anyone. I posted "
One thing you probably should keep in mind is that it is ever so easy for program vets to use their experience as an excuse for their pathetic shortcomings in life." and maybe I should have correctly and semantically said for ME, MYSELF, and I, it is ever so easy to use MY, MY OWN experience as an excuse for MY, MY OWN pathetic shortcomings in life. My apologies for speaking on behalf of "program vets" as I did. I see I could have and SHOULD have stated that differently and should have pointed the finger at myself rather than include myself amidst others (including those THAT I KNOW PERSONALLY, EAT, DRINK and SMOKE with) that simliarly scapegoat STRAIGHT for pathetic shit.
he can discern ones shortcomings as pathetic or legit
Again, I am not discerning nor judging anyone's anything.
fuck you, you fucking asshole, whoever you are...I hope I don't know you...
Fuck you kindly back, Frod, deep in your stinkin ass--I might add. I was posting my words to a wife and mother that sounded troubled. What I said, as odd as it may sound, was heartfelt at the time.
You assume a lot when you say you hope they have a Desire to live. many of these pathetic people of which you speak do have a desire to live, even people who KILL THEMSELVES have a desire to live. You do realize that right? They have a desire to live unharmed and safe and loved. Do you have someone in your life that Loves you? I don't know a Single person who wouldn't desire to live if they could DEAL. Not everyone is as LUCKY as you with accomplishing that task I suppose. It does not negate their desire to live a happy life even if they choose to end it.
I never said I hope anyone would have the desire to live. I think something was lost in the translation here. I was talking about ME. If I were paralyzed I would hope that I would continue to decide my fate in a manner that would foster happiness in life, rather than to blame my stubbed toe and all of my pathetic shortcomings on the fact that I am disabled.
We all have the potential to decide how we will live our lives or not live them. Sure we've all been through hell, but whether or not to let it dictate the rest of our lives is up to us.
V, you hit the nail on the fucking head. I wish I could be as eloquently concise.
No one should tell me or anyone else on this board what WE should be doing
THAT my friend, would be pompous and condescending. Never once did I imply what anyone here should be doing about anything. That is not me. I don't know you, I know ME and I also personally know a few others that have fallen to a wierd trap of blaming $tr8 for everything from a stubbed tow to a leaky roof. Yep, it can get fairly "pathetic".
I should of known better than to post here with good intentions. Nothing is more like group than being stood up and semantically picked apart and told to talk about myself and no one else. Admittedly, if I would have done so to begin with it would have saved a lot of people a lot of keystrokes. I stand corrected. Funny how in real life there is never the need to defend myself in any regard but here there there are older versions of the same fuckers that bashed my head into the floor 20-30 years ago with starving mouths that still drip with anticipation for fresh vulnerable flesh to devour. I could go and cry about how fucked up it is to be confronted and semantically dissected yet still misunderstood again. I could dive deep about how no matter how I try there is no shakin' this STRAIGHT shit and how the program is everywhere. However, I know my decision will be to simply finish this post, light a spliff, and laugh. That is the decision that will keep me happy, not to mention alive.
My apologies for derailing this whole thread. My apologies to anyone offended or infuriated by my words. It has been a personal struggle for me for many, many years and I have found things that have worked in helping me to survive. One of those things is to do what I can to keep things in perspective. For me personally blaming the program everytime I stub my toe, everytime the roof leaks, or everytime I get stuck at a red light just isn't real anymore. It IS pathetic for me personally. The last thing I ever want to do to try to convince anyone that what works for me, works in general period. I am not trying to convince anyone of anything and admittedly I stand corrected for my choice of words.
This place can be a lot like group at times which is unfortunate. If you must, say what you will regarding all I mentioned above, I'll read your replies but I have stated all I have to say and my defense has rested.
