Dad helps others after son's struggle with addictionBy Kathy Uek/Daily News staff
The MetroWest Daily NewsPosted Sep 24, 2008 @ 01:13 AM
Last update Sep 24, 2008 @ 04:26 PMSUDBURY —
Many people don't talk about the struggle over addiction.
Michael Reuben, 22, a successful sales professional, musician and artist, did. He also talked about his recovery and his day-to-day struggle to fight a drug relapse.
The Sudbury native died from a heroin overdose Sunday. After Reuben's death notice - which told of his addiction - was published, total strangers called to speak about the struggles of their addicted brothers, mothers, sons or themselves.
"I got so many e-mails telling me how courageous we are for even admitting this," said Reuben's father, John, of Sudbury.
People identified with Michael's life. "One man called to say, 'I've been sober for 45 years and I'm still struggling,"' said Michael's aunt Catherine Reuben.
"This isn't a kid who died in some shooting gallery surrounded by addicts," said his father. "That wasn't him. When people think of heroin addiction, they think of someone living this horrible dysfunctional life completely clouded by drugs. For most, like Michael, it's a battle against relapse. When Michael wasn't relapsing, he was living a normal life. He was a kid taking accountability for the disease, managing his life and supporting himself."
Reuben worked as a sales executive in Prescott, Ariz., for Lincoln-based Vendisys, a marketing firm his father owned. "He was one of our top performers dealing with high-level executives and working long hours. He had a lot going for him."
Michael was a good student, maintaining a 3.5 grade point average at Lincoln-Sudbury Regional High School until he got into drugs. Reuben's troubles with drugs began in the middle of his senior year with drinking, then marijuana and ultimately progressing to intravenous heroin, his father said. He left school before graduation and received his GED, said his father. His drug addiction progressed to intravenous heroin.
"In 2004, when I found out Michael had drug problems, I founded Saving Teens in Crisis Collaborative to help disadvantaged youths participate in programs too expensive for them.
"My son was in this situation and I knew I could only do so much," said John Reuben. "I used whatever resources and talents I have to help others."
Since losing his son, after the anger, anguish and remorse, John Reuben has poured himself into his nonprofit organization to provide resources to families, who fight a similar battle. He does it "to get something positive out of this tragedy and let people know this happens in fortunate and unfortunate families, in Malden, Somerville, Sudbury and Los Angeles," he said.
And he and his family remember the essence of Michael. "He had very good insight and a way of relating to people so they felt comfortable and could tell him anything," said John Reuben. "When Michael talked to you, he gave you his full attention and listened intently. I'm devastated he's gone. There's a hole in my heart that will never come close to being filled."
When his aunt Cathy thinks of Michael, she thinks of his dry wit and the fantastical places and creatures he painted.
Michael Joshua Reuben leaves his brother, Max, his grandmother and several aunts, uncles and cousins, including the Reuben/Glanzman families of Somerville and the Frias family of Hudson.
Memorial services are incomplete.
Memorial donations may be made to Save Teens in Crisis Collaboration, P.O. Box 441363, West Somerville, MA 02144.
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