Aww, I missed this first time around. Thanks. Very much. I think that did as much or more damage than the two years spent inside. How they tore my family apart and turned us all against each other. It was absolute, pure insanity for damn near twenty years. My ex's parents still try that kind of crap with the kids, but thankfully they're a helluva lot smarter than I was at that age and they don't allow it. My youngest daughter is buying a condo.....I'm so proud of her. She's 20, is getting the financing on her own, has the down payment on her own and is fully capable of handling the pmts and maintenance fees. My ex father in law keeps trying to insist that he co-sign for her, "just in case" she gets into trouble. They haven't been able to control the kids through fear, like they did their father and I, so they use carrots to dangle. My youngest used to fall for it....they'd buy the car for her, but that meant she was subject to their moods and whims and the car was taken away at the drop of a hat. A few months ago she got into a small accident....grandpa helped her get the car fixed, but went through her garbage. Seriously, they were dropping the car off to be fixed and she gathered up all the garbage in a bag, was getting ready to throw it away and he came up and snatched it out of her hand and told her he was going to go through it. Her response was, "eh, so what. I've got nothing to hide". AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Oh my god, it drove me NUTS.
Anyway, now he wants to co-sign a damn loan for her even though she qualifies on her own!!! Shit, if all he was wanting to do was 'help out if she got in trouble with pmts'....why not just make a couple of pmts for her if she ever does get into trouble? Nope, because that wouldn't give them control. Ugghhh. It just makes me sick.
I really hope your daughter does not get too tempted by her grandfather's "offer". I think your instincts are correct. If she considers letting him to co-sign, please have her sit down with an attorney so she understands exactly how that would impact her. Co-signing is one thing ( and I'm sure he will rub it in every chance he gets that he is liable for the loan and it affects his credit) but if he manages to manipulate it so that he is on title ( and once he has her on the hook and interested in his "help", he may try it) then he has an ownership interest and you know he is going to enter the house when she is not there and go through her things. It will be nightmare city.
I have had a lot of experience with contracts, real estate, mortgages and the law. I also have experience observing people who have signed legal documents without a clear understanding of how they would be affected ( witness the mortgage mess we are in now!). You may want to help pre-empt his offer and any temptation she may feel by having her go over all of her documents with an attorney so he or she can explain how she would be impacted by that "offer". If she does decide to take the "offer" please, please, have an attorney go over any documents before she signs or at least during the three day right of recission so she has an escape. If grandpa Dickwad is anything like my ex he will make a nice-sounding offer but there will be many strings attached and at the last minute he will try to manipulate things to serve his own agenda. My guess would be he would try to convince her she needs his help and then try to get on title so he can have control. Bravo to you for raising a real woman! I hope she sticks to her guns; this country is in a shitload of hurt by people who have thrown away their rights for some bogus "safety". Good luck; I would love to see how this turns out!
