My time at Hyde

[blove82]

So after reading a lot of what has been said about Hyde on this forum, I'm finding myself a quite frustrated. I understand that I graduated 7 years ago, and a lot has changed since I left. I was there for 5 long years, I understand more than anyone the hell that Hyde can be. I will say this though, and it seems to be something that has been forgotten, Hyde is not supposed to be fun, it never was. The whole point of the school is to challenge yourself, and learn more about the person you can be.
When I arrived at Hyde, I was 15 years old and I was a spoiled brat that whined and cried to get her way. They fixed me of that, it took a lot of people getting in my face, being confronted about it almost daily, they confronted my parents and got them to stop babying me. It sucked, I hated them for it, they had ruined my little manipulation schemes. Looking back now, I am thankful for what they did, it helped me to be the person I am today. Also, I am eternally grateful to my parents for not having me attend the local high schools in my area. I would be a completely different person than I am today, and that person is not someone I would like to be.
I am the first person to admit that Hyde wasn't fun at all. If it was fun, you weren't doing something right, and that sucked.... When people ask me if boarding school was fun, that’s usually the response I give them.
I have lifelong friendships from Hyde, I grew and learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot mainly from the other students there. You don't need a Psychology or Psychiatry degree to help someone, all that matters is that you care and are speaking from experience. I don't know how things are there now, but when I was there they weren't brainwashing you as everyone claims they do. They want you to live by their standards of character while you are there, and hopefully when you leave you will take those standards on as your own. It's hard to do in the real world, I struggled with it for a very long time, and still do. The whole point though is that they are showing you the ideal. If everyone lived to the same set of standards, we would have far less problems. Taking Hyde's standards and applying them to the real world is very hard, but what in life is actually easy.
I know that a large majority of graduates fail again before they succeed. I know I did, it takes awhile to see what Hyde was trying to tell you. It takes awhile to realize that it does make sense, and you can actually apply it to your life. I learned so much about who I can be and who I want to be. I want my life to have a purpose, I want honesty, humility, integrity, and all of those things to matter in my life, and they do. They all play a role in the selection of friends, if I can't trust someone then I can't be friends with them. I'm getting a little off topic here. I guess what I am trying to say is that Hyde was never easy, it had it's fun moments but those are mainly the memories I have of spending time with my friends. Hyde cannot reprogram your child or you. Whether or not it takes, or works with your life is completely up to you. I never believed the school when they said as long as one side gets it, whether it’s the parents or the student, eventually everyone will come around. But it is true, I was very bitter when I graduated Hyde, I didn't believe that anything I learned there could ever help me. It took a long time for me to figure out why I was unhappy with my life, and it ultimately came down to the fact that I wasn't living my life to any standards of character.
   
I guess what it all comes down to is that Hyde isn't the miracle cure, the quick fix, or going to cause a definite amazing transformation. It takes time and work, and people need to understand this. If it doesn't work right away that doesn't mean it will never work. It's not easy, but nothing worthwhile in life is easy. Everything takes work. I just hope that people do understand and are willing to admit that they are things you learn at Hyde that do actually help you. It's just whether or not you choose to allow it to affect your life positively or negatively. We can all look at our experiences at Hyde and pick out the negative aspects, that’s the easy part. The hard part is looking inside yourself, and admitting that at one point in time you were a person that you weren't proud of. And whether or not Hyde played a major part in your change, if you attended the school, then it played some part in helping you grow as a person.

[Anonymous]

I agree...I too needed a change and Hyde School was the place where I was "redirected". I don't know that it had to be that place, perhaps another would have sufficed. And I will never know if I am sucessful because of the place or inspite ot if. But, I will say that I do not look back fondly on those years like other nostalgic ex-high schoolers tend to do. The same as one would not look back fondly on a stint in rehab or a hospital admission. ..5th

[Anonymous]

or a colonoscopy...5th

[Ursus]

...or a friggin' lobotomy!

Glad to see you back, 5th!

[Anonymous]

or a colonoscopy...5th

   I had a very attractive nurse do mine.   I look back on it with fond memories,  just the way I look back at Hyde.  Yes, I took it up the pooper but they used KJ jelly.  Too bad Joe is so ugly.

[Anonymous]

So after reading a lot of what has been said about Hyde on this forum, I'm finding myself a quite frustrated. I understand that I graduated 7 years ago, and a lot has changed since I left. I was there for 5 long years, I understand more than anyone the hell that Hyde can be. I will say this though, and it seems to be something that has been forgotten, Hyde is not supposed to be fun, it never was. The whole point of the school is to challenge yourself, and learn more about the person you can be.
When I arrived at Hyde, I was 15 years old and I was a spoiled brat that whined and cried to get her way. They fixed me of that, it took a lot of people getting in my face, being confronted about it almost daily, they confronted my parents and got them to stop babying me. It sucked, I hated them for it, they had ruined my little manipulation schemes. Looking back now, I am thankful for what they did, it helped me to be the person I am today. Also, I am eternally grateful to my parents for not having me attend the local high schools in my area. I would be a completely different person than I am today, and that person is not someone I would like to be.
I am the first person to admit that Hyde wasn't fun at all. If it was fun, you weren't doing something right, and that sucked.... When people ask me if boarding school was fun, that’s usually the response I give them.
I have lifelong friendships from Hyde, I grew and learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot mainly from the other students there. You don't need a Psychology or Psychiatry degree to help someone, all that matters is that you care and are speaking from experience. I don't know how things are there now, but when I was there they weren't brainwashing you as everyone claims they do. They want you to live by their standards of character while you are there, and hopefully when you leave you will take those standards on as your own. It's hard to do in the real world, I struggled with it for a very long time, and still do. The whole point though is that they are showing you the ideal. If everyone lived to the same set of standards, we would have far less problems. Taking Hyde's standards and applying them to the real world is very hard, but what in life is actually easy.
I know that a large majority of graduates fail again before they succeed. I know I did, it takes awhile to see what Hyde was trying to tell you. It takes awhile to realize that it does make sense, and you can actually apply it to your life. I learned so much about who I can be and who I want to be. I want my life to have a purpose, I want honesty, humility, integrity, and all of those things to matter in my life, and they do. They all play a role in the selection of friends, if I can't trust someone then I can't be friends with them. I'm getting a little off topic here. I guess what I am trying to say is that Hyde was never easy, it had it's fun moments but those are mainly the memories I have of spending time with my friends. Hyde cannot reprogram your child or you. Whether or not it takes, or works with your life is completely up to you. I never believed the school when they said as long as one side gets it, whether it’s the parents or the student, eventually everyone will come around. But it is true, I was very bitter when I graduated Hyde, I didn't believe that anything I learned there could ever help me. It took a long time for me to figure out why I was unhappy with my life, and it ultimately came down to the fact that I wasn't living my life to any standards of character.
   
I guess what it all comes down to is that Hyde isn't the miracle cure, the quick fix, or going to cause a definite amazing transformation. It takes time and work, and people need to understand this. If it doesn't work right away that doesn't mean it will never work. It's not easy, but nothing worthwhile in life is easy. Everything takes work. I just hope that people do understand and are willing to admit that they are things you learn at Hyde that do actually help you. It's just whether or not you choose to allow it to affect your life positively or negatively. We can all look at our experiences at Hyde and pick out the negative aspects, that’s the easy part. The hard part is looking inside yourself, and admitting that at one point in time you were a person that you weren't proud of. And whether or not Hyde played a major part in your change, if you attended the school, then it played some part in helping you grow as a person.

I respect your beliefs about how Hyde helped you become the person you are.  I don't question your sincerity.  I've met other Hyde grads who feel as you do.  

But none of this takes away from the hard, cold fact that Hyde was absolutely NOT the right place for me or many people I knew there.  None of what you say takes away from the hard, cold fact that Hyde is also a school that has mistreated many people, emotionally abused many people, and mishandled both students and parents.  What is indisputable is that Hyde is not able to meet the needs of many of the students who end up there, and that is very costly emotionally and financially.  It certainly was for me and my family.

My family will NEVER forgive the incompetent Hyde staff we met, the staff who were abusive, the staff who didn't have the slightest clue about how to handle some of the deeply troubled kids who get sent there, the Hyde staff who preached one thing and then did another.

I'll be the first to admit that Hyde may "work" for some kids, like you.  But I'll also be first in line to scream to anyone who will listen that Hyde is the worst possible school for too many students there.  If Hyde only accepted students who fit your description, my guess is that it would have a tiny fraction of its current number of students.  Hyde needs to fill beds, so it deludes itself and everyone else that it can handle all the students it admits.  No way.  So many of the Hyde teachers and others who were there when I was there didn't have the training, experience, or maturity to provide students what they really need.  For that, Hyde needs to be exposed.  It's fine to publicize success stories like yours, but Hyde also should be honest and admit its unbelievable shortcomings and failures.  

Have you read the dozens of stories by people posting here about their horrific Hyde experiences, teacher scandals, mistreatment, etc.?  Maybe you think all of this is exaggerated.  I don't think it is.

Truth over harmony, right?

[Anonymous]

I agree...I too needed a change and Hyde School was the place where I was "redirected". I don't know that it had to be that place, perhaps another would have sufficed. And I will never know if I am sucessful because of the place or inspite ot if. But, I will say that I do not look back fondly on those years like other nostalgic ex-high schoolers tend to do. The same as one would not look back fondly on a stint in rehab or a hospital admission. ..5th

   It is hard to tell what part of Hyde is part of me.  A dime store guru once told me "your path is your path"  I am glad I went to Hyde.  I am glad for all the little oddities of my life.  I would not trade going to Hyde for anything.  It was a unique experience.  It was a part of how I got to where I am now.  

 With that said, Hyde has warts all over it.  That does not mean you can not profit from the experience, or thrive from it.  The reality is that Hyde fucked ( OMG a potty word)  some people up. The reality is the some people realty do need professional help and the atmosphere is just not conducive to healing for certain types of conditions, say drug induced psychosis from amphetamine use for example.  The stazi like "most dynamic peer environment"   really does not help when you are struggling with paranoia.   Having a lummox with a bad comb over, worse golf pant and  a Mr Rogers cardigan scream at you from a stage really did not do a lot for me. At that point in my life I was thinking "another fucked up adult to deal with."  There were some positive experiences.  I am afraid many of them were accidental, and not part of the grand character education plan if one ever existed.

[Ursus]

...it takes awhile to see what Hyde was trying to tell you.

Tell me?  Or sell me on?

Do tell, friend, where is it written that growing up and becoming a better person  disallows having fun?  It sounds to me, with all due respect, that you are still stuck in the mindset that all things of value are only obtained via punishment and suffering.  I thought that archaic concept was successfully debunked quite some time ago.  It really is just leftover remnants from Feudal times, when The Church wanted to ensure some vestige of compliance and so-called cash flow from those unruly dirty Pagans...

And... sorry to say this, but I don't think I've ever met a single normal teenager who did not whine about this or that.  Seems to me you've allowed yourself to be talked into more self-abasement than you deserve.  How indeed would a normal prep school have dealt with that?  Probably ignored it.  'Cause you know, in five years, you would probably have outgrown it anyway!

You don't need a Psychology or Psychiatry degree to help someone, all that matters is that you care and are speaking from experience.

I would say it all depends on the kind of "help" you're giving.  Are you talking about friend-to-friend?  Or are you talking about an institution that takes a kid who has been diagnosed with Major Depression, and who then tells this kid that their lack of self-esteem and seeming inability to make "progress" has nothing with said diagnosis, and yet everything to do with the fact that they are a loser, and that if they were honest with themselves they would have to admit that calling it "depression" is a cop-out?

Seems to me that Hyde doles out some pretty dangerous mind-fuckery.  If everyone lived according to Hyde's "standards," we wouldn't have to worry so much about population control.

[Anonymous]

I don't know how things are there now, but when I was there they weren't brainwashing you as everyone claims they do.

oh, bite me.  you did 5 yrs of sussing the koolaid when you were there, and another 5 yrs sussing since you got out. yer perfused, girl!

[Anonymous]

I agree...I too needed a change and Hyde School was the place where I was "redirected". I don't know that it had to be that place, perhaps another would have sufficed. And I will never know if I am sucessful because of the place or inspite ot if. But, I will say that I do not look back fondly on those years like other nostalgic ex-high schoolers tend to do. The same as one would not look back fondly on a stint in rehab or a hospital admission. ..5th

It is hard to tell what part of Hyde is part of me.  A dime store guru once told me "your path is your path"  I am glad I went to Hyde.  I am glad for all the little oddities of my life.  I would not trade going to Hyde for anything.  It was a unique experience.  It was a part of how I got to where I am now.

With that said, Hyde has warts all over it.  That does not mean you can not profit from the experience, or thrive from it.  The reality is that Hyde fucked ( OMG a potty word)  some people up. The reality is the some people realty do need professional help and the atmosphere is just not conducive to healing for certain types of conditions, say drug induced psychosis from amphetamine use for example.  The stazi like "most dynamic peer environment"   really does not help when you are struggling with paranoia.   Having a lummox with a bad comb over, worse golf pant and  a Mr Rogers cardigan scream at you from a stage really did not do a lot for me. At that point in my life I was thinking "another fucked up adult to deal with."  There were some positive experiences.  I am afraid many of them were accidental, and not part of the grand character education plan if one ever existed.

I admire people like you who carry your suffering like a talisman. I am one of the unlucky ones who would chuck it into the nearest trash can. In my more frustrated and cynical moments I think that you alchemists, who transmute lead into gold, are arrogant boasters. You seem to be saying, "I would not be such a wonderful person if anything in my life had been different" or "I would not be such a success if anything in my life had been different." But whether you are really able to derive such profit from the bad times as well as the good, your belief in your ability to do so is so palpable and genuine that I envy you nevertheless. I imagine that there is a limit to the suffering that you would be willing to accept, and that this limit is different for different people. As for me, the best use to which I can turn my past sorrows is not to let them become an excuse for my present sorrows, lest all hope for future happiness be lost.    

Mike

[Anonymous]

I agree...I too needed a change and Hyde School was the place where I was "redirected". I don't know that it had to be that place, perhaps another would have sufficed. And I will never know if I am sucessful because of the place or inspite ot if. But, I will say that I do not look back fondly on those years like other nostalgic ex-high schoolers tend to do. The same as one would not look back fondly on a stint in rehab or a hospital admission. ..5th

   It is hard to tell what part of Hyde is part of me.  A dime store guru once told me "your path is your path"  I am glad I went to Hyde.  I am glad for all the little oddities of my life.  I would not trade going to Hyde for anything.  It was a unique experience.  It was a part of how I got to where I am now.  

 With that said, Hyde has warts all over it.  That does not mean you can not profit from the experience, or thrive from it.  The reality is that Hyde fucked ( OMG a potty word)  some people up. The reality is the some people realty do need professional help and the atmosphere is just not conducive to healing for certain types of conditions, say drug induced psychosis from amphetamine use for example.  The stazi like "most dynamic peer environment"   really does not help when you are struggling with paranoia.   Having a lummox with a bad comb over, worse golf pant and  a Mr Rogers cardigan scream at you from a stage really did not do a lot for me. At that point in my life I was thinking "another fucked up adult to deal with."  There were some positive experiences.  I am afraid many of them were accidental, and not part of the grand character education plan if one ever existed.

You have made a key point: The "good" that happened to you at Hyde was often accidental and had nothing to do with Hyde's oversized, exaggerated rhetoric about character education.  Some good stuff happened to you while you were at Hyde, but not BECAUSE of Hyde.  I agree with you that Hyde is exactly the wrong environment for many of its students, and that some of the Hyde staff are downright embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. For My own sake, for My own sake, I will do it; for how should My name be profaned? And I will not give My glory to another. Listen to Me, O Jacob, and Israel, My called: I am He, I am the First, I am also the Last. Indeed My hand has laid the foundation of the earth, and My right hand has stretched out the heavens; when I call to them, they stand up together.

Isaiah 48 one 'em verses in the one of the mistranslations

[Anonymous]

I agree...I too needed a change and Hyde School was the place where I was "redirected". I don't know that it had to be that place, perhaps another would have sufficed. And I will never know if I am sucessful because of the place or inspite ot if. But, I will say that I do not look back fondly on those years like other nostalgic ex-high schoolers tend to do. The same as one would not look back fondly on a stint in rehab or a hospital admission. ..5th

   It is hard to tell what part of Hyde is part of me.  A dime store guru once told me "your path is your path"  I am glad I went to Hyde.  I am glad for all the little oddities of my life.  I would not trade going to Hyde for anything.  It was a unique experience.  It was a part of how I got to where I am now.  

 With that said, Hyde has warts all over it.  That does not mean you can not profit from the experience, or thrive from it.  The reality is that Hyde fucked ( OMG a potty word)  some people up. The reality is the some people realty do need professional help and the atmosphere is just not conducive to healing for certain types of conditions, say drug induced psychosis from amphetamine use for example.  The stazi like "most dynamic peer environment"   really does not help when you are struggling with paranoia.   Having a lummox with a bad comb over, worse golf pant and  a Mr Rogers cardigan scream at you from a stage really did not do a lot for me. At that point in my life I was thinking "another fucked up adult to deal with."  There were some positive experiences.  I am afraid many of them were accidental, and not part of the grand character education plan if one ever existed.

You have made a key point: The "good" that happened to you at Hyde was often accidental and had nothing to do with Hyde's oversized, exaggerated rhetoric about character education.  Some good stuff happened to you while you were at Hyde, but not BECAUSE of Hyde.  I agree with you that Hyde is exactly the wrong environment for many of its students, and that some of the Hyde staff are downright embarrassing.

The rhetoric was oversized because it was filled with a whole lot of hot air.

[Anonymous]

It's fine to publicize success stories... but Hyde also should be honest and admit its unbelievable shortcomings and failures.

No there's a fine example of a fat chance in Hell.  Hyde is about as honest as WC Fields is skinny.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, meant to say "Now there's a fine example..."