how 'bout... we admit that our power, human rights, and dignity were taken from us while in straight inc and to this day our power, human rights, and dignity remain Ellusive.. we were forced to be ok with things that were not ok ...to believe things that we knew were wrong...we were forced(and we can all give examples of this force) to go against our conscience.... to doubt the very core of ourselves..... the consequence of this is that now we dont make a move w/o doubt...have a thought w/o doubt...believe a friend or are even able to make one w/o doubt....trust a system w/o serious doubt...we dont know up from down..cant seem to find that inner compass to guide us along b/c it was shattered and everthing to follow suffers...i think i live life in a better place now but then there have been these 'forks in the road' pivitol life affirming or the other choices i am forced to make(usually i allow someone else to make them and that has been even worse b/c we need to learn to trust ourselves again and to forgive ourselves...we were children) ..and i seriously do not know right from wrong...utterly confused and consumed w/ doubt and i end up sabatoging myself and it doesnt seem like something i would do....this is the effect...


Yeah. Thanks for your post.
I read this book a while back called "Skeletons On the Zahara", bad-ass read BTW, that was about these cats from some New England port town, in about 1825 or so, who shipped out to sea for trade, but were instead wrecked on the notorious North African coast. After a few days in the life- dingy, without fresh water they finally found a break in the cliff wall, where there was a place to go ashore. They climbed the treacherous cliffs in the rags that they wore and when the capt. and his men reached the top, after having climbed above the sea all day, he saw nothing alive, only the Zahara desert, my friend...
They pressed on and were captured and taken into slavery by bedouin tribesmen. They were mistreated by their captors who gave them only enough to keep them alive. They were sun-burned and de-hydrated and suffering from malnutrition. They went days without food at all, the whole time bein forced to keep up with the camels. They learned to eat the raw contents of a slaughtered camels belly to stay alive.
This is a true story and if you were here in person I could go into great detail tellin it to you, but since I don't hit the keys as fast as I tell stories, I'll have to cut to it.
The crew had been divided up and sold out to the highest bidders at some inter-tribal gathering. Some of the crew were lost forever to the desert, never to be seen again, but some remained together and 2 others where-abouts were known to the Capt. who retained his wits. Capt. Riley hatched a plan to befriend one of the Bedouin alphas. Riley promised him in scant hopes and outright lies, a ransom for the return for the lives of his men if he would deliver them to some British outpost to the north, in Morocco. There was some precedence for this, as white, shipwrecked sea-men had been ransomed out of the desert before.
After a few years as slaves of the desert raiders, and bein mistreated and abused the entire time, Rileys' plan came to fruition. I forget the exact number, but through sheer will and superior determination Riley delivered the survivors of his crew, with the help of the Bedouin alpha, who stood his ground on Rileys' bold words, through at least a couple 'a' uncertain moments, that held their lives in the balance, to The British ambassador in Morocco.(pardon the run-on there, if you would). I think about 6 of the original 13 survived.
The survivors were all traumatized by their experience. Upon arrival at the British office, the men were nearly dead. averaging about 100 lbs underweight, with all manner of terrible skin conditions, suffering terribly.
Eventually they were returned to America. Capt. Riley went on to write a book about his ordeal,and became famous, but the men he saved did not fare so well once home. They could not return to normal life. They had been through a door that could not be closed. They couldn't pretend they didn't know...
I have another story about 6 Irish rebels who escaped from a British prison in Australia, after 9 years of captivity, which they began serving in 1867. They were sprung by the Clan Na Gael, who hired a whaling ship for the job. It was a great escape, full of heart and courage, but when the men got home, they were unable to fall back in. The Capt of the ship did well, and the man who actually broke the kids out became a hero, but the ones who had been prisoners themselves became isolated and mostly died pre-maturely. They couldn't pretend they didn't know...and neither can we.
I think it's somethin like that...
God is in you.