I've heard the Baldwin tape, and while I consider it beyond horrible, I've heard worse directed at my "new" family. My wife's ex-husband crossed lines that made Baldwin look like Mr. Rogers. We had to "rescue" my step-daughter from her biological father's house a few years ago during a visitation after she discovered his not-too-well concealed stash of drugs. Despite my wife claiming she must have gotten her pick-up time wrong to prevent the lunatic blowing-up , bio-dad pressed the issue until the real reason came out. Then he unleashed a torrent of ear-piercing cursing, at one point screaming into his (then) 14 year-old daughter's face that she was "a lying bitch" and ordering her to get all her "fucking shit" out of his house. He walked out with a handful of her belongings and hurled them into our van, then noticed me sitting in the passenger seat. He glared, but cooled his tone a bit and continued throwing his daughter's things out.
When my step-daughter got in the car, she was a wreck, sobbing, hurt and angry. I'll never forget the look she gave me when she got in the van, it was a teary, pleading, confused look. The first thing she said, straight from the heart:
"I HATE THAT MOTHERFUCKER, I WISH HE WERE DEAD!"
What could anyone say? What adult reacts with anger to a kid who's only "crime" was being utterly scared and confused by the discovery of her father's drugs and paraphernalia?
Later , when I told my wife I had never seen such an unbalanced, irrational outburst, she said "that was nothing, really. He's been far, far worse, ripping doors off, cornering the kids and screaming for ages," Once, he thought his son had ignored him at a soccer game because he didn't wave to him. That set off a three hour cursing rage, demanding an explanation other than "I didn't see you," Bio-dad said that was "BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!"
My step daughter heard the Baldwin tape, and said it wasn't that bad, she'd heard "a whole lot worse". It's heartbreaking.
At least Baldwin's going to answer for it. My step-daughter refused to see her bio-dad for two years, and when he saw an opportunity to snatch custody through a shady, deceitful court order, he threw her in Peninsula Village. An evaluation done before she was sent to PV made the father-daughter situation clear: the only options available at the time were the father's desire to place her in Peninsula Village, or send her to live with him. The psychiatrist said living with the father was "NOT an option, due to the strained relationship". It's sad to think a professional considered Peninsula Village a safer environment than the father's home. In a private discussion with my wife and I, the psychiatrist asked if we were positive we would win custody back during our court date, which was a week away. We were positive due process would work, since the whole seizure of custody stank of fraud, and that seemed to put the psychiatrist's mind at ease. What a shock that day in court, when the same Judge who granted temporary custody refused to admit he had made a mistake. We "fixed" the custody problem eventually, but 7 months in PV was a terrible vengeance for a father to exact from his own child.
Why can't parents realize their words can sometimes do more damage than fists?
