You know I was in the home in the early 70's as long as 4 year's saw a lot of Lester Roloff. My first trip to the home was in one of his first small planes. Scared me half to death you see i think it was the worse thunder storm ever. I think his son in law was flying it. Little unsure on that, Memories fade after 30 years. My mom was with us and I tell you my head hit the ceiling of that plane and shook me up so bad I was praying before I got there. In fact the ride was so ruff that I swore I would never do anything wrong ever in my life, If God would Let me kiss the ground. When we finally pulled up at the home, which I was expecting to be a ranch with horses and all kinds of fun things to do. There set one dorm and a farm surrounding it. It was late and there stood Pa Pa and Granny. I was sent by the state not because I was arrested but because I had been raped and molested by my older brother since I was 8. So I kept running away and that is how I got raped. My parents fought all the time my dad was a drunk and beat my mom from the time I was born. I remember as young as 3 jumping on my dads back to try to get him off my mom. He would always get his shot gun and threaten my mom with it and threaten to kill himself. It was not uncommon to see my dad sitting on the edge of the bed crying Holding his shot gun in his mouth. I was sure that one day he would do it. Things got so bad that I got on drugs and started cutting my legs and arms. It became my way of copying. My grandmother when I was at a very young age use to tie me in a closet for hours and I thought I was going to explode. I was in braces until the age of 7 so I was never picked up and held. All I could think is why was I here and why would God let this happen to a little girl? I felt very betrayed by God. All that I could think of and even planed my own funeral at the age of 7 was that I did not belong here and I wanted to die. I think when I got on that plane that night It was the first time I ever wanted to live. So the state ordered me there to get me away from my family.
I did not feel threatened by the home when we pulled up because there where no fences Open space and Yes horses and a farm. Pa Pa hugged me when I came in For A good few minutes. I did not know him, But to be actuality held by this stranger how did not know me, I cried. Just broke down and he held me quietly while I did.
The first words that came out of that mans mouth was We love you and you are safe now. Granny said come on lets get a bath and get those clothes off, and get you a room. So then my introduction to the new rules.And my new roommate that would soon become my shadow for a while. I was hungry so they took me to the kitchen and gave me fruit and cottage cheese.
The next day was confusing waking up to a bell and broadcast and my first new bible. In the weeks to come I learned about keeping my room clean what going to church was, Plucking chickens, And memorizing scriptures was the reward for getting to go on tours and with it the promise of getting to travel and to meet people. Which I thought hey? Not so bad? I was 13 and curious about the world.
And then came my introduction to Lester Roloff.
Skinny man with big gray eyebrows Never seen without that bible in hand grabbed me up and said come on we are going to the Vally which was I think in or near Mexico. It was an old folks home with the kindest people I ever meet and fresh squeezed tangerine juice where we would spend most of the day picking oranges and grapefruit and tangerines. And man could those old people cook. We had a spread and roloff at the end of the table with all his fruits and veggies. We flew down there and was a pretty smooth ride however I was a tad gun shy. But on the way back, Its started to storm again and off we went that plane shaking and bumping. I knew we would be struck by lightning. And started to cry this time. Well Lester Roloff smiled from ear to ear and I thought, what is he smiling about? Is this man crazy? And then came a baller out of his mouth and he started singing living by faith. Raised that hand and stated to lead us singing. And behind this slender faced man with Rosy cheeks and blue eyes with out a care in the world was the windshield of the plane And it was black and rain pounding being lite up on in off by the lighting. Then we quoted psalms 121 and palms 119 and following that his stories of faith in God. Again I found myself praying God If you Just get me safely to the ground I will change my life. Plus since he was praying I did not think a little bargaining with God would hurt.
There was one more time I rode in his plane and I begged him to take me to the light-house. I wanted to go fishing! By George I was determined I bugged him every service till he took me.
Back on the plane again. And I'll be damned if it did not rain again. The mans faith was unshakable on that plane. But we made it there with all our lessons on faith. And trust me when I say faith got us there. I thought about it a thousand times I guess how daring he was. Then one day he told us the story about testing God.
And I thought it even more then he is testing God. That he was ignoring Gods on warnings and testing him. I said it a bunch after that one time he won't come back and low and behold on my wedding day he died in that plane crash And boy did I get a chill. Because inside I expected it somehow. I truly believed with my heart that it would happen. But to who I wondered. I know Elane was on there and she had to be the meanest woman I ever met. Rotten to the core I tell ya.
She was fat and red headed and mean. She was across from my room so if you said boo she got ya. When I go to heaven if she is there I will just shit my paints if that is possible, I'll pretty much figure that if GOD can forgive her he can forgive anyone of anything. You know Roloff use to race cars before he was a preacher and he told God that if he would pull him through he would be a preacher and never race again. He might of broken that promess in the sky.
When the government's boot is on your throat, whether it is a left boot or a right boot is of no consequence.
-- Gary Lloyd
[ This Message was edited by: Mishell on 2005-11-20 10:22 ]