Believe me, if I had known what was going to happen in the future, I would have done everything in my power to fight the homes! But I did not know. I just wanted to forget about the ?home? and when Roloff died I though it would all end. I?m horrified to learn the truth.
I remember picking oranges at ?Peaceful Valley?. Yeah, it was bordered by the Rio Grande. They would load us on a bus and take us to pick fruit. It was hot hard work, but then they fed us well.
When I was there, Roloff flew a twin-engine Piper Aztec N188Y was the tail number I believe. When on the radio, He always told the control tower his name was Roloff ?like Roll off the bed.? He was quite a character. He loved to be the center of attention. And oh, yeah! He loved drama when he flew. Myself, I?ve always been a daredevil to the max, and loved it too. Coming from a horribly abusive family, I did not care if I lived or died. (I don?t think I decided I wanted to live until I was over 40.)
That is the rub. If you had a loving foundation you could put the home behind you. But if you didn?t know anything else, it messed up your thinking and ability to make good decisions which caused more pain, etc. It has been very cathartic reading other?s stories?and it has made me grateful I was as lucky as I was.
Anyway, Rolloff was a reckless pilot from day one. It took him several years to get his instrument rating because of it. It only takes most people about 1 year. And that rating made him even more reckless. I was with him through many thunderstorms. He seemed to try to get into trouble. Then he would get all excited and start singing. One time the plane was full and we were flying at 12,000 feet over the rocky mountains (By FAA regulations, he had to wear oxygen at that altitude.) Suddenly it got quiet. An engine had failed. We started falling and had to follow canyons hoping we didn't meet a dead end. (literally). We ended up landing at a dirt strip in New Mexico.
When I arrived, there were about 15 girls and we all lived in trailers. We were crammed in there like sardines. I slept in a sleeping bag on the kitchen floor for a while. I was new, and they were fasting which made no sense to me. So I got mad and demanded an orange or something! Papa got all huffy and said I was a ?sinner? then called me a heffer and I retaliated verbally?cussed him out and told him he had to boss around girls to feel like a ?big man?. He ended up whapping me on the head really hard and leaving a big bruise on my temple. I was used to getting beat up at home, so I wasn?t afraid of anybody. I only got paddled a few times, because it only made me more resistant. I wasn?t going to let that jerk see me cry for anything.
One thing Granny & Papa did that has always bothered me, is that I got REALLY sick after a couple months. I threw up every time I tried to move, had terrible earaches and sore throat. I couldn?t eat for about 2 weeks and was running a high fever. They refused to do anything at all. I couldn?t even get an aspirin (some health food regulation). I could have had lifelong health problems from an infection and fever like that or even died. They are lucky I recovered. But they NEVER acknowledged I was ever really sick. In fact I was repeatedly paddled for not working and not going to church but I was too weak and too stubborn to care.
They also did not allow any school or textbooks. That used to really make me mad. (Plus it was illegal). I swear! To this day I have never been bored again. People don?t know how lucky they are they can bring a book or magazine with them to read if they get stuck waiting somewhere. You should have seen the laughs I got years later when I applied to college with a only a formal 9th grade education, a GED and no clue what algebra was! But I?m tenacious and graduated with a high B average, even passing calculus and physics.
As bad as the home was, it was better than my family. I was very brainwashed there and was encouraged to believe God led me there to get the love I never had. Now I?m angry as hell about it. They just used me to raise money, and they didn?t really care about me. And I was too brainwashed to see the truth. By the way, I never snitched on the other girls and was often singled out for punishment by Granny, who was jealous I got so much of Roloff?s attention. I remember when we moved into the dorms I was responsible for ALL the laundry plus so many other chores it was impossible to get it all done so she would punish me with lock up.
When I finally left, I had nowhere to go. It did not have to be that way. Several families had asked Roloff to let me live with them but he said no. I did not know how to find a job, manage a checking account or survive in the real world. When I called to ask for advise, granny & papa and even Roloff refused to take my calls (which were not collect). I was only told to get married and God would take care of me. So I married a man who was raised a fundamental Christian. He beat me, made me work and took all my money, and I stayed in that horrible marriage until recently. For reasons I wont go into, I could not have kids, but raised his. He undermined me to my face telling them I wasn?t their mother and they didn?t have to mind me.
If there had been one last shred of self-respect undamaged, I would have left. At least I called the police and reported him for physical abuse so that stopped. Still, he lied to me, spent the money I made on himself, and acted entitled. Only recently I discovered he had been cheating on me and finally left. Since he didn?t allow me to have my own friends, I find myself very alone right now, but I?ll survive. Finally I at least have self respect and can fashion a decent life.
These days I don?t call myself a Christian. I don?t want to be associated with people who abuse that term, and my beliefs would NOT be approved of by the Roloffite bunch. But my conscience is clear.
Knowing Roloff as I did, I DO blame him for starting that cult. He most definitely, absolutely,
'recently divorced'
