Author Topic: Help with Six Year Old  (Read 4463 times)

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Offline Infinity

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Help with Six Year Old
« Reply #15 on: February 16, 2007, 11:44:29 PM »
I think your kid is probably an Aspie (and a gifted one at that). That's good. :) He's probably bored stiff at school, with his gifted brain stuck in a normal class. I know I would be. Not to mention freaked out by all the people and smells and crazy unpredictable events.

Transitions... insistence on order... Boy that sounds familiar. Making it easy on him by making life predictable (including the rules you have for him--write them down, make them completely dependable!) seems like the best way to go here. And making sure his brain has something interesting to work on rather than getting him into trouble all the time.

Teaching him to control himself is way better than getting anybody else to "handle" him. Such things are pointless and border on abuse half the time, what with people holding him down or drugging him up or any number of things to make him fit into their little perfectly organized classrooms.

Heck, bribe him to keep calm if you have to... it works. Punishment just isn't the way to help someone learn, take it from someone it was tried on!

There's no way he'll ever get over his tantrums if he doesn't learn it on his own. When I was that age I had tantrums like crazy; and the best way to let me calm down was to just stop interfering... I'd calm down on my own. Of course teachers want to interfere, which gets him even more riled up.

Can you home-school him? Sure it's more work, and you've got to make sure he has friends available... but keeping him away from clueless (and dumbed-down) school programs could be a plus, especially for the next few years.

Check this out:
Aspies for Freedom
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
size=9]It doesn\'t stop after high school...
The Student Voice[/size]

Offline Antigen

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Help with Six Year Old
« Reply #16 on: February 16, 2007, 11:55:43 PM »
Allow me to demonstrate, illustrate, and consternate....



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Offline mbnh31782

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Help with Six Year Old
« Reply #17 on: February 17, 2007, 09:18:59 PM »
homeschool works wonders for an intellectually frustrated child.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Nihilanthic

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Help with Six Year Old
« Reply #18 on: February 19, 2007, 11:57:53 PM »
COLLEGE was great for me... it let be breathe and pick my courses. It was great, would've been better had I done a few things smarter, but still, was better than publik school.

At any rate, when I get my instate residency here, I'm definitely going back and getting a degree.
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Offline Anonymous

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Six, Now Seven
« Reply #19 on: June 07, 2007, 09:06:15 PM »
So, my six year old is now seven.  He has grown very close to the school guidance counselor, who has a therapeutic dog... they don't really talk about issues, except how to cope with frustration. Its more in the vein of having an outlet for intellectual discussion, which Jack craves at school.  Letters of the week don't cut it for him.

An evaluation was completed and surprise, surprise, they did not try and label him ADD or ODD.  They are not advocating any drug therapy, but a program to adapt to auditory, visual, and spatial stimuli.  The "diagnosis" gifted intelligence with sensory integration issues.  Environmental cues that don't bother the average person are exceptionally distracting/overwhelming to him.  

In spite of his intellect and depth, they want to put him in special ed because for the small class size, saying he will get more out of it, will acquire coping mechanisms, and actually advance intellectually because he will have fewer distractions in a small group setting.

The other issue is socialization. Jack is a very deep thinker. He's not really fulfilled in a standardized environment, with its attendant shallowness.   In a large group setting, he hangs back... With older kids, adults, or highly intelligent kids, he shines.

The school says that Jack is not regarded as a "weirdo" or oddball by the kids at all....  But he's disinterested in most kids... he prefers adults... when I visit his school, kids come up to him, and he seems indifferent in most cases.

I really wish I could afford private school, or homeschooling... but I can't.

I'm just so frustrated because I feel the SPED classroom will remove him from his few best friends, and label him.  The school did say they will not railroad me into this, but they do take a lot of time catering to Jack's needs in the classroom, at the expense of the other students.  At this point, for example, Jack sits at his desk when everyone is in a group.  (I kinda, think, who the hell cares?  But they want that conformity.)

The other thing, too, is that Jack went through a lot, as I mentioned with the divorce.  His guidance counselor just told me today that Jack told him he remembers me being yelled at and hurt.  He actually said he is worried he will do the same thing to me. I don't know why, but that really broke me today.   All that was over a few years ago... and he is very loving and affectionate to me. I'll never be able to make up for the things he saw.

I know things are better because he is happy/comfortable at home the vast majority of the time.  He doesn't act out at home the way he did before I created a safe emotional space. We're very silly and fun, and I try to provide him with appropriate intellectual outlets.

I just worry because I will never be able to make up for the things he saw/heard...the things he can't articulate... that sense of fear as a baby and toddler when your mother is being dragged around as she's holding him.... among other things. By the Dad who he loves very much.

About the only thing I can say for sure is that I know he knows that I love him very much....  I tell him every day. (My parents could never utter those three little words comfortably...and I was always worried I'd be the same way.) And I know he knows I think its ok to be different, and an independent thinker and smart and free spirited.

I am supposed to attend the formal evaluation and IEP meeting shortly.  I was recommended that I get him some therapy... But I am very leery of... everything.  I don't want him to perceive himself as broken.

The thing I respect most about Jack is that he questions everything... and I don't want to stifle that ever. Even though I sometimes think shallow people are happier.

This isn't really the most coherent post. But I welcome constructive feedback.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Ursus

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Help with Six Year Old
« Reply #20 on: June 08, 2007, 01:56:28 AM »
Hmmm... the only reason I would possibly suggest "yes" to the therapy is that your son clearly still has some issues/concerns/fears re. the breakup between his dad and you.  Might be good to get those out of the way or at the least minimized if you can.  Two other points to keep in mind re. therapy:  at his age, it is most likely going to be "play therapy," which is vastly different from what you or I have in mind as "therapy," and also, he might actually very much enjoy it, as it will give him more social time with an intelligent grownup (I'm trying to picture his pov from what you have written about him).

That said, a lot still depends on whether you can afford it and how feasible it is given other constraints in your life.  You probably need to weigh everything as a whole.

I'm not sure how I feel about the Special Ed class.  I guess a lot depends on the other kids in it, believe it or not.  The point re. the class size is most valid.  However, I would concur with your concerns re. his current social network in the regular class.  I also think that the so-called disruption your son currently appears to pose will abate as time goes on, and that perhaps the safest position to take might be to put the Special Ed class recommendation on hold for the moment, and see if that issue is still on the table (from the school's pov) in a year's time.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Oz girl

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Help with Six Year Old
« Reply #21 on: July 02, 2011, 07:09:20 PM »
is that little girl yours ginger? she is beautiful.

i think if the kid is not unhappy socially in this class with his little friends then this is an important consideration. My happiest school experiences were social. You mentioned private school not being an option finanically. It may be worth looking into scholarship programs down the track which may open up this option to you further. Particularly for highschool.
Another option is to look at co curricular options for your boy. Chess, music lessons, art or foreign language classes. While these things do cost money they are cheaper than private schools. Also chess is something you can play with him at home till you look at the cost of classes. See what sort of activities your local YMCA and scouting associations offer. Sometimes organisations like this offer great activities for a reasonably low cost.
if the kid is not violent i would also not panic about whether he is the collest kid in school. It seems that schools really focus a lot of energy  on whether a kid is the class "weird guy" or not. Not everyone in the world is an extrovert. Such is life

http://www.chessclub.com/resources/club ... ry_US.html

http://www.ymca.net/programs/programs_for_arts.html

http://www.ymca.net/programs/programs_for_teens.html

http://www.scouting.org/nav/enter.jsp?s=cp
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
n case you\'re worried about what\'s going to become of the younger generation, it\'s going to grow up and start worrying about the younger generation.-Roger Allen