sarasota community school- looking for info

[bertc]

Does anyone know anything about this school? Run by Chuck and Cara Kanner. The website looks like a ClubMed ad but Google Earth doesn't support the pix.

We're considering therapeutic schools for my 16 yr. old. Before you all lambast me for my insane failings as a father...save it. I've spent countless days on this site and many others....I hear you. In fact I tend to agree. We are carefully and lovingly looking at all options that will help him out of the bad place he's in.

Any and all insight is much appreciated.

[Nihilanthic]

If you've read it so much then why are you still looking for placement.

Is something wrong? Treat it.

Is nothing wrong? Good for you!

Is it ever worth taking them from their home environment, away from all their friends, family, possessions, familiarity, luxuries and freedoms and keeping them somewhere? No.

Is it especially bad to break the child/parent bond in such a way? Yes...

Basically, uh, why are you doing this? Is something actually wrong or do you just want to not play parent anymore?

[troll8]

[bertc]

he's been arrested twice in the last 30 days...ecstasy possession and B&E, 2nd charge is a felony... status pending

Complete disregard for all family rules...blatant use of pot and other drugs, running away, diagnosed as bipolar within 45 minutes after admission to a pysch. ward (voluntary)...I think that's bullshit but we're continueing to pursue a diagnosis, semester just ended and he has a 1.2 GPA. Not that I give a shit about his grades as they relate to his future...but it is symptomatic of the bigger picture.

he's been in therapy for over a year, medicated, off medication, on medication....his social circle is exclusively about drug use "I need a sack dude!"...

He's in or very close to crisis...I'm primarily trying to keep him out of prison AND make some changes too....

Before you all accuse me of being a faulted parent,... understand that I've read this forum ENDLESSLY and believe we have been doing exactly what is suggested. IT"S NOT WORKING... and before I need to go see him at a State Prison...I have to do something to help.

[Nihilanthic]

Well, as the management? here has said, if you have the money to afford a program, you have the money to do it yourself!

Go on a trip somewhere, away from all the bullshit, and just go see shit. Go tour europe or something.

Ultimately more useful than getting shipped off somewhere, getting zero therapy and tons of bullshit, and any growing up to be had was his own growing up.

I mean, you do know that if you read EEEEEEEVERYTHING, right?

[bertc]

can't disagree.....probably time to refresh the old perspective vs. embracing something new. That is how we have parented all 4 kids for the last 16 years. Just cause it's not working right now is not reason to abandon it. Thank you.

[Nihilanthic]

Wow.

Took you no time at all to realize the whole "removed from kids" vs "with your kids" thing.

Now if only the StrugglingTards could get that....

But seriously!

a) THERE ARE TONS OF PEOPLE WHO CANT AFFORD PROGRAMS WHO GET BY FINE!

b) IF YOU CAN AFFORD ONE YOU CAN GET A BODY GUARD TO FOLLOW THE KID AND KEEP THEM OUT OF TROUBLE OR GO ON VACATION.

Wow. Imagine that.

[Froderik]

a) THERE ARE TONS OF PEOPLE WHO CANT AFFORD PROGRAMS WHO GET BY FINE!

Hello, that would be me.

[Nihilanthic]

Then open your mouth more often?

[Froderik]

Then open your mouth more often?

I'll try, but hey man.. I've got drugs to do, women to fuck, and bands to play in! I'm booked up!  :rofl:

[hanzomon4]

My advice is this...

• Setup family counseling with a psychologist
• Arrange for individual therapy for your son, and others if need be
• Work with a psychologist to make constructive changes to your family's environment
• Arrange for your son to see a psychiatrist to run diagnostic test for any mental illnesses
• Use a hospital psych ward for temporary institutionalization in times of immediate(life threating) crisis and only for the time needed for the crisis to pass, which should be no more then a week in most cases
• Take no action out of desperation

Know this about most programs, They are unregulated and lack oversight. In most cases the staff are neither trained or qualified and make unrealistic claims. Sending your son to any program is at best a roll of the dice and should never be an option you take out of desperation. The troubled-teen industry is filled to the brim with con men and fanatics who prey upon the desperation of parents with troubled youth. You are much better off sticking to conventional(slow moving and frustrating) treatment methods, I've outlined some(but not all) of these methods above.

Getting real treatment for your son will be frustrating, time consuming, and painful but it's better then sending him to a program that will not treat him.... or may even abuse him.

[Froderik]

My advice is this...

• Setup family counseling with a psychologist
• Arrange for individual therapy for your son, and others if need be
• Work with a psychologist to make constructive changes to your family's environment
• Arrange for your son to see a psychiatrist to run diagnostic test for any mental illnesses
• Use a hospital psych ward for temporary institutionalization in times of immediate(life threating) crisis and only for the time needed for the crisis to pass, which should be no more then a week in most cases
• Take no action out of desperation

Know this about most programs, They are unregulated and lack oversight. In most cases the staff are neither trained or qualified and make unrealistic claims. Sending your son to any program is at best a roll of the dice and should never be an option you take out of desperation. The troubled-teen industry is filled to the brim with con men and fanatics who prey upon the desperation of parents with troubled youth. You are much better off sticking to conventional(slow moving and frustrating) treatment methods, I've outlined some(but not all) of these methods above.

Getting real treatment for your son will be frustrating, time consuming, and painful but it's better then sending him to a program that will not treat him.... or may even abuse him.

Those programs suck. At Straight Inc., all of the kids looked like pasty-faced zombies, they made you flap your arms in the air like crazed monkeys, you weren't even supposed to think about fucking girls (if you did you were supposed to talk about your weak "druggie" thoughts), they made you sit up straight in a chair 12 hours a day, you went to piss or shit when it convenient to THE GROUP, and you had staff telling you (and the group talking about) what a misfit druggie failure chemically dependent piece-of-shit you were and that straight and ONLY straight could help you save yourself from jail, insanity, or death, all three being choices that were more appealing than being THERE.....

[Covergaard]

Florida has a lot of so-called schools which are not a quite as accredited as they claimed to be. In fact a boy lost his life in such a program during the summer. The program was shut down, but it was too late for the boy.

I have another suggestion. What about a formation trip to Europe. We have a system in Europe called InterRail:

http://www.interrail.net/index2.php?language=en

Basicly it is traveling by train around europe for a month. Buy him a backpack and sent him off. If he avoid eastern europe, he would be safe. It will be very challenging for him and he has to stay clean in order to keep his backpack. (He can write down a phonenumber someplace on his body, so he can call collect for a new one if he loses his backpack. He can also hide cash in his shoes - wear old shoes!)

It may sound dangerous, but in fact it properly be less dangerous than a TBS and way better in the long term as the relationship between him and you concern.

[Anonymous]

As here, some fair questions get asked, but because there is a "therapeutic" element and it is a boarding school, it gets condemned by people with no real knowledge about it.  At least condemnation ought to be based on facts of bad things and not generic presumption.

Look at the schools website.  Among other things, they want parents to visit before making application.  They encourage parents to spend a few days in the school with the kids following their routine.  Who is hiding from what, or hiding what?

In other topics, some "regulars" acknowledge either that there are, or may be, or could be some good places -- which degree of accepting a place as good varying by individual.  So why can't Sarasota Community School be good?

Clearly, the subject 16 y.o. needs a change of environment, if only to get his body clear of drugs.  He also needs to experience positive things without drugs.  And, he likely would benefit from some therapy/counselling.  There are lots of ways to get to those things, and none are as easy as we may like.

Remember the originator said "he's been in therapy for over a year, medicated, off medication, on medication....his social circle is exclusively about drug use "I need a sack dude!"...

He's in or very close to crisis...I'm primarily trying to keep him out of prison AND make some changes too....

Before you all accuse me of being a faulted parent,... understand that I've read this forum ENDLESSLY and believe we have been doing exactly what is suggested. IT"S NOT WORKING... "

More of the same is supposed to be better???  Just because it isn't residental and therapeutic?  Oh yeah --- phosps aren't automatically good either.

[Nihilanthic]

The point we were trying to make is you can't remove the whole element of isolation and being trapped in such a place.

You're seperated from your family, which is NOT exactly good in the long term for therapy. Same for everything else I said above.

Even if this is the magical 'program' (thats not even a program anymore, by definition...) that has real schooling, no abuse, free phonecalls, decent food, normal amounts of freedom and fun activities, real therapy, no quackery, and no coersion, they're still going to keep him to some degree from his parents and the outside world, unless this actually lets him off campus.

[Anonymous]

The point we were trying to make is you can't remove the whole element of isolation and being trapped in such a place.

You're seperated from your family, which is NOT exactly good in the long term for therapy. Same for everything else I said above.

Even if this is the magical 'program' (thats not even a program anymore, by definition...) that has real schooling, no abuse, free phonecalls, decent food, normal amounts of freedom and fun activities, real therapy, no quackery, and no coersion, they're still going to keep him to some degree from his parents and the outside world, unless this actually lets him off campus.

Maybe you should have checked into what type of facility this Dad was referring to before you slammed him right off the bat with out even knowing any of the details.
He obviously loves his son and was trying to get some help from this board...it's that exact reaction to anyone from the outside coming here for help or information, that keeps many of them from ever returning a second time.
I'm sure you feel proud of yourself for turning him around so fast with your "wisdom", but more than likely he just didn't feel like having a debate with someone who just likes to hear themselves talk. Sorry, but I've read enough of your posts and that does seem to be the case.