Out of curiousity, this question is for Exhausted, what convinced you to say no to Aspen?
Also could you please get an account? I would dearly love to discuss your situation in greater detail. Don't let the reception you have recieved so far turn you off to posting here on Fornits. At the very minimum I would hope you to be the sort of person who would appreciate honest opinions. Not the sort of opinion you are going to find on Struggling Turds. They have a vested interest there to get you child into a program to boost their income flow. Here we don't make a single pence/farthing out of the deal.
I'll try to re register, it said I had to wait for a validation e mail that didn't turn up?? Anyone out there?
I have to say before I go any further, I have spoken privately with many struggling teens members and they aren't all "send them away" some of them really don't want that but do fear for their lives literally and for the lives of their children, it is a really really hard decision to make, not to mention a heartbreaking one
I personally don't want to send my kids away, beating them to within an inch of their lives is niot going to make them stop, I know because I've done it myself and they still continue - well you wanted honesty and you got it, I am always open & honest, that's why I'm here, I need some direction & help, I have lost all sense of direction, exhausted every avenue and just don't know how to help my boys, that is my sole purpose
As for having a drink problem, no I don't, i wish I did, maybe I could blot it all out with the booze!! My only problem with alcohol is the fact it has destroyed so many lives around me as I grew up and is still doing so to this day - It is I believe a genetic thing in the family, all of the boys in the family have drink problems, but not the girls, that is extended right across to cousins etc........
And thank you to the gargling Milk madman who pointed out my kids hate me, yes i am well aware of that fact thank you very much, what I want is to find out why they hate with such a vengence, they hate everyone!! it's nothing personal.
The reason I turned Aspen down, hmmmm....well anyone who writes an e mail saying "sure, put them on a plane tonight, we will start them on a program tomorrow morning" wihtout knowing what the situation is, doesn't get my time or money, how did they know if I was some psycho bitch who doesn't even have kids or not? How did they know if I just wanted a long hoiliday and needed someone to palm my perfectly normal child off onto to babysit? No way was I sending my boy to someone I didn't know I could trust, a facility I hadn't checked out, a country that I couldn't visit as & when I needed to, or more importantly when my son needed me to, do they think I'm mad???
Michael Muldoon is fully aware of my situation, he has been really supportive and a very good friend to me through some very difficult times, wihtout giving away his private life I trust him because he has been there, where my boys are now, yet he never disses me as a mother no matter what I do to try to stop my sons
I am more than aware that if my boys don't want to change, there is nothing I can do about it, but it doesn't make me want to give up any the less, i will fight for them for as long as I draw breath, because I CARE how they turn out, because I want them to have a good life, they aren't going to get a second shot at it are they?
I have just come back from my GP aghain! begged him to help, make a referal, after all these years of begging, he's now told me I've missed the boat because my 14 yr old is too old to see a mental health team (eh?) I asked if it was comon practice to let people with mental health problems wander round causing themselves and others harm without help, his reply was "How do you know he has a mental health problem?" FFS I don't! I can't get anyone to see him to assess the situation - so, there you have it, I have spent years and years trying to get a referal, now it has got to this stage, I am being told I should have got a referal at an earlier age *bang head sharply against a wall*
Am I really asking too much here? I'm not asking someone to reprogram my boys, I don't want to change them, I just want to change their behaviour - I'm just reaching out for help, that's all, I can't do this on my own anymore, I've run out of energy
btw yes the dad was an alcoholic, no he was never nasty & violent with it, just a hopeless alcoholic, however the chidren were 2 months, 16 months, 2 1/2 & 4 at the time of his death, they were very young, although I don't dismiss that children of any age aren't aware of what's going on, I do believe it affects them greatly no matter how old they are.
Those of you who think I'm a bad other because I have the odd drink (ike 3 or 4 times a year) et stuffed, that's normal drinking, butI do take on board what you say about not having it i the house, I will throw any I find away tonight, that is a promise to you & to myself, they will go round their mates houses and raid their parents drinks cupboards though and shoplift it because thats what they do, also to those of you who think I am trying to justify anything I do, i don't have to justify myself to you, let's get that clear from the start, those who think I'm a bad mother, okay, you are entiltled to your opinion, but I can sleep at night knowing I am not and only have their well - being at heart, let's face it, if I didn't they'd be at Aspen right now would they not?
Okay i think I've taken up enough bandwidth and hope I have covered every question with as much honesty as I can....I also promise you, i leave nothing out, if I think of anything else i will type it in, because I have one objective in life - to help my boys help themselves to a brighter future, lying, deceiving and covering up certain parts of our lives is not going to help anyone, I cannot ask you and expect you to help without giving you the whole picture.