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Hyde School, The Most Truthful Informative Post I have Seen

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Anonymous:
I can't believe I came accross this website, I am now in the process of dealing with the situation that my youngest son who has been attending Hyde since November 2005 refuses to go back and I supporthim completely on this, yet his father (we're legally separted) who is an ex-Hyde student is trying his hardest to convince me otherwise.  In the first place his father sent him there because he could not discipline my son properly and since he has residential custody of him I felt really I could not relly help my son and agreed to send him there.  I have seen my son go from a vibrant, energetic, bright young man to a mummy.  I see his fear and agree with all of you who talk about this being a "cult-like" situation.  I went there for their spring retreat and that is exactly how I felt, that I was in the middle of a cult and was actually amazed to read how so many people on this website reffers to Hyde in the same way I do!  Last night my ex took me out for a coctail to do his best to convince me that my son is being a quiter and needs to go back and finish this year.  I see his point of view but I also see and feel the unhappiness in my son.  He has chosen to be with me and stay in my house during the holiday season because he could not even stand being next to his father.  Instead of this helping a relationship between father and son it has made my son angrier.  

When I heard my ex talking to me last night I saw all the "Hyde" lingo and expressions being said to me,and I even told him that all that comes out of his mouth is pure Hyde.  My ex never graduated from Hyde, because at the time he went his sister was also going and his family could not afford to have two kids going to that same school, well Mr. Gauld (father) and other Hyde officials, told him at the time that they would much rather have his sister attend Hyde than him because she showed more leadership potential hthan he did.  This, I believe completely scared my ex and actually when he went to one of the FLC's he got an apology form all of the Gaulds because they "did him wrong" then.  As a matter of fact even though my ex graduated Hig School from another school, he last night told me that he willbe receiving his diploma from Hyde very soon, he just has to give a lecture or a speech in front of the school and he will receive it.

My middle son is also attending Hyde and it has not seem to affect him emotionally at all, but his little brother tells me that he just "goes with the flow and does everything they tell him to do there". . .

I certainly feel that this place may be good for some kids but definitely not for my youngest and as I said I am so glad I found this place where I can see other's oppinions on this school.  I was made to belive by my ex last night that I am crazy by thinking this way about Hyde and it being a cult.

And as far as the school providing records for me to transfer him to another school, it has been extremely difficult to get anything from them.  The Registrar has given me nothing but attitude when I have been calling her every single day after she promises she will fax the records "as soon as she gets approval form the business office" and I have not received a thing.  The other day she could not do ti because it was snowing in Maine and she had to go home. . . .

I look forward to reading more from you all.

Anonymous:

--- Quote ---On 2006-01-07 06:46:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I can't believe I came accross this website, I am now in the process of dealing with the situation that my youngest son who has been attending Hyde since November 2005 refuses to go back and I supporthim completely on this, yet his father (we're legally separted) who is an ex-Hyde student is trying his hardest to convince me otherwise.  In the first place his father sent him there because he could not discipline my son properly and since he has residential custody of him I felt really I could not relly help my son and agreed to send him there.  I have seen my son go from a vibrant, energetic, bright young man to a mummy.  I see his fear and agree with all of you who talk about this being a "cult-like" situation.  I went there for their spring retreat and that is exactly how I felt, that I was in the middle of a cult and was actually amazed to read how so many people on this website reffers to Hyde in the same way I do!  Last night my ex took me out for a coctail to do his best to convince me that my son is being a quiter and needs to go back and finish this year.  I see his point of view but I also see and feel the unhappiness in my son.  He has chosen to be with me and stay in my house during the holiday season because he could not even stand being next to his father.  Instead of this helping a relationship between father and son it has made my son angrier.  



When I heard my ex talking to me last night I saw all the "Hyde" lingo and expressions being said to me,and I even told him that all that comes out of his mouth is pure Hyde.  My ex never graduated from Hyde, because at the time he went his sister was also going and his family could not afford to have two kids going to that same school, well Mr. Gauld (father) and other Hyde officials, told him at the time that they would much rather have his sister attend Hyde than him because she showed more leadership potential hthan he did.  This, I believe completely scared my ex and actually when he went to one of the FLC's he got an apology form all of the Gaulds because they "did him wrong" then.  As a matter of fact even though my ex graduated Hig School from another school, he last night told me that he willbe receiving his diploma from Hyde very soon, he just has to give a lecture or a speech in front of the school and he will receive it.



My middle son is also attending Hyde and it has not seem to affect him emotionally at all, but his little brother tells me that he just "goes with the flow and does everything they tell him to do there". . .



I certainly feel that this place may be good for some kids but definitely not for my youngest and as I said I am so glad I found this place where I can see other's oppinions on this school.  I was made to belive by my ex last night that I am crazy by thinking this way about Hyde and it being a cult.



And as far as the school providing records for me to transfer him to another school, it has been extremely difficult to get anything from them.  The Registrar has given me nothing but attitude when I have been calling her every single day after she promises she will fax the records "as soon as she gets approval form the business office" and I have not received a thing.  The other day she could not do ti because it was snowing in Maine and she had to go home. . . .



I look forward to reading more from you all."

--- End quote ---


I am sorry to hear about your son's painful experience at Hyde.  As you can see, there are lots of people who have the same concerns about the Hyde cult as you do.  I have had those same feelings whenever I've attended a family weekend or FLC.  As you said, some kids do okay at Hyde (although I've met quite a few who talk about how they play the game and just keep their head down), but for many it's a terrible environment that turns out to be very harmful.  I hope you're able to work things out and find a good school for your son.  You should know that many people have left Hyde for similar reasons and have found much more appropriate schools that provide a much healthier environment. Good luck.

Anonymous:
I learned an invaluable lesson from my experience with sending my daughter to Hyde, which was, by the way, highly recomended by several mental health professionals. My daughter has a pervasive LD which affects her co-ordination,her sense of time and space, her reading of body language , and the list goes on. She is highly intelligent and on the surface her 'quirks' may appear to be behavioral.I mistakenly thought that she needed to learn how to survive in the real world, learning disabilities or not, and Hyde, I was told ,would be the place to teach her how to 'self advocate'. I couldn't have picked a more inappropriate placement for her, since none of her difficulties were ever considered.She was bombarded with punitive measures for much of what was not her fault or for her inabliltiy to play the social games that her peers and interns played ,with her being the dupe. What was even more alarming was that many of the kids there do have severe emotional /behavioral problems stemming from external sources rather than a primary neurological source, and while Hyde's philosopy may help some of these kids, the kids who have internalized emotional fallout stemming from a physical or nuerological disability , such as a learning disability ,stand to lose far more than their own self -respect and self worth. This type of negative, punitive environment for those with LD'S could be a death sentence. My first impression of Hyde was that it reminded me of Amway with its therapeutic meetings that seemed to camouflage the hidden agenda of the 'LEADER'. I looked at this with some amusement, but when I saw first-hand that some of the kids there were being punished for behavior that was a direct result of their LD, I realized how destructive this type of school was for my daughter. She went into Hyde mildly depressed with no history of drug or alcohol abuse and certainly no suicidal intent. After being there for less than 2 months , she was routinely cutting her wrists.  Her story might have ended in tragedy, had I listened to Hyde and stopped ' making excuses for my daughter and get with the program'.What I did learn was an invaluable lesson for myself and also for those parents who have a child with a primary LD. The best school is one that has a population of kids with LD'S or related disorders so that you know the staff and teachers and all those invloved with your son or daughter have a 'working 'experience and are trained specifically to work with the specific LD's. There also should be no behavioral mod programs set in place specifically to break ' bad behavioral habits or tendencies', since the strategies that best work  for kids with LD'S with emotional and behavior fallout are very different than those which are used with kids with a primary psychiatric / emotional disorder. I doubt very seriously if Laura Gauld would have her child at Hyde if he were diagnosed with say, Aspergers or high functioning autism or any related disorder or learning disablity , unless there was a very supportive, nurturing environment within the school, which is not what comes to mind when I think of Hyde. Be warned if this profile sounds like your child's, steer clear of schools like Hyde. I remember one boy there, who had a LD, whose one characteristic was 'impulsivity'. He had vowed to 'accept his consequence', whenever he had acted inappropriately, without anger or a sense of injustice, as was his tendency in the past. I remember thinking 'how sad', that the school isn't focusing on the cause of his behavior, rather than being bent on changing it with punitive measures. I often wonder how things worked out for this kid at Hyde.....for surely changing ones behavior from the outside can sometimes result in an iron exterior but with nothing more than a hollow and empty core .

Anonymous:

--- Quote ---On 2006-01-08 08:49:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I learned an invaluable lesson from my experience with sending my daughter to Hyde, which was, by the way, highly recomended by several mental health professionals. My daughter has a pervasive LD which affects her co-ordination,her sense of time and space, her reading of body language , and the list goes on. She is highly intelligent and on the surface her 'quirks' may appear to be behavioral.I mistakenly thought that she needed to learn how to survive in the real world, learning disabilities or not, and Hyde, I was told ,would be the place to teach her how to 'self advocate'. I couldn't have picked a more inappropriate placement for her, since none of her difficulties were ever considered.She was bombarded with punitive measures for much of what was not her fault or for her inabliltiy to play the social games that her peers and interns played ,with her being the dupe. What was even more alarming was that many of the kids there do have severe emotional /behavioral problems stemming from external sources rather than a primary neurological source, and while Hyde's philosopy may help some of these kids, the kids who have internalized emotional fallout stemming from a physical or nuerological disability , such as a learning disability ,stand to lose far more than their own self -respect and self worth. This type of negative, punitive environment for those with LD'S could be a death sentence. My first impression of Hyde was that it reminded me of Amway with its therapeutic meetings that seemed to camouflage the hidden agenda of the 'LEADER'. I looked at this with some amusement, but when I saw first-hand that some of the kids there were being punished for behavior that was a direct result of their LD, I realized how destructive this type of school was for my daughter. She went into Hyde mildly depressed with no history of drug or alcohol abuse and certainly no suicidal intent. After being there for less than 2 months , she was routinely cutting her wrists.  Her story might have ended in tragedy, had I listened to Hyde and stopped ' making excuses for my daughter and get with the program'.What I did learn was an invaluable lesson for myself and also for those parents who have a child with a primary LD. The best school is one that has a population of kids with LD'S or related disorders so that you know the staff and teachers and all those invloved with your son or daughter have a 'working 'experience and are trained specifically to work with the specific LD's. There also should be no behavioral mod programs set in place specifically to break ' bad behavioral habits or tendencies', since the strategies that best work  for kids with LD'S with emotional and behavior fallout are very different than those which are used with kids with a primary psychiatric / emotional disorder. I doubt very seriously if Laura Gauld would have her child at Hyde if he were diagnosed with say, Aspergers or high functioning autism or any related disorder or learning disablity , unless there was a very supportive, nurturing environment within the school, which is not what comes to mind when I think of Hyde. Be warned if this profile sounds like your child's, steer clear of schools like Hyde. I remember one boy there, who had a LD, whose one characteristic was 'impulsivity'. He had vowed to 'accept his consequence', whenever he had acted inappropriately, without anger or a sense of injustice, as was his tendency in the past. I remember thinking 'how sad', that the school isn't focusing on the cause of his behavior, rather than being bent on changing it with punitive measures. I often wonder how things worked out for this kid at Hyde.....for surely changing ones behavior from the outside can sometimes result in an iron exterior but with nothing more than a hollow and empty core ."

--- End quote ---


Although I am terribly saddened by your story, I am so happy that you took the time to tell the public about your painful Hyde experience. What you have shared is moving, poignant, and, compelling.  Your story about Hyde and its destructive methods sound so very familiar.  Our family has heard many similar testimonials.  In your case the child involved had significant learning disabilities.  In many other cases the students have significant issues with anxiety, eating, and mood disorders.  What so many of these Hyde stories have in common is that this school is absolutely the wrong place to help kids who struggle with these issues.  Hyde's steady diet of shaming, humiliating, confrontational tactics (with occasional supportive conversations thrown in there) is the worst possible "medicine" for these kids.  Fortunately, some of us have seen the light and are getting our kids out of Hyde.  It's take some of us some time to figure out that there are far more appropriate schools and that Hyde is a disaster for many kids.

Your comment about Hyde's Amway qualities is right on target.  There's no question that many of Hyde's strongest fans have bought into this "group think" pyramid-type structure.  It's a very seductive, scary environment for many of us who smell cult when we arrive on Hyde's campus.  

I don't know whether you've had the time to read on this website other parents' testimonials about Hyde and the damage the school did to their children (and some parents), but your sentiments are shared by many others.  We have found that some educational consultants and professionals refer families to Hyde based on very superficial Hyde marketing information.  It's important to get the word out to these folks that underneath Hyde's exterior is an awful lot of destructive pathology.  Stories like yours contribute a great deal.  Thanks, and good luck with your efforts to move beyond Hyde and find a more appropriate setting.

Anonymous:
I wrote the post about the situation I am going through with my son not wanting to go back to Hyde.  Today is Sunday, and I still have no school records, his father has completely boycoted my son's decision and since he has residential custody of him I am affraid that he will come and pull him out of my house by force and take him back to Hyde.  My son spoke to him last night and tried to "negotiate" telling his father that he will go back and finish this term only on the condition that his father would give me residential custody (which he is willing to) and child support (which he is not willing) and a car. . . well my ex called me later on last night (about 11:00 pm) telling me that he would agree to all that and suggested that our son and that he should be on the bus at 7:00 am for Hyde, well of course that did not happen, I am just so depressed right now because I do want my son to be happy unfortunately I do not have the resourses to put him in another private school and I know his father will not do so either especially due to the fact that he has solely funded their Hyde education and he is now facing a no refund policy.  

The only place I have to offer to him right now is my local public school, which is in a suburb in NY and does not have the best reputation.  My son assures me that he has the will to make this work until I can move to the next town close to me which has a much better public school system which is where he started out in the first place and he wants to finish High School there.  He has not been diagnosed with any learning problems, dissabilities, as a matter of fact he is quite a bright young man, the only problem was the fact that due to a nasty separation between his father and I his father was given residential custody and he was unable in the 8 years he's had my two youngest sons to discipline them therefore he chose his "alma matter" Hyde to do so.

I am very conflicted because of my option versus his.  My son as I see it and feel deep in my gut needs love, needs his mother and he has told me so.  His father insists that I am giving him the "easy way out" he will not have to work, on the other hand my son tells me that what he is choosing is not the easy way, he is choosing to stay with me, who has to struggle to make ends meet and he is willing to work hard both in school and getting a job.

Even with his father agreeing to even buy a car for him, he is now telling me that his hate for that school is so strong that he doesn't really think he can go back, although his father has agreed to his demands. . .

Just pray for me, I certainly have been doing so.  I have never felt so strongly about something and am willing to support my son in every way.  I have his father's entire family calling me and my son pleeding for me to let him go back, I am not holding him hostage, he just is plain refusing and is threatening to either quit school altogether or run away if he is forced to go back.  As far as legality I don't know if his father can do that, I know that at 16 in NY kids can legally quit without parents intervention and this is what I am affraid will happen besides the fact that if he does go back what are going to be his punishments at Hyde and the emotional scars that this may inflict him. . .

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