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Offline Sylvia

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« Reply #585 on: January 11, 2006, 07:33:00 PM »
got it, thanks.

I don't know where you are in Michigan but was trying to point you toward some resources.

I know how overwhelming this is for the whole family and the sense of urgency of getting Alex the right placement.

Speaking as one who has been there/done that both as a youth (I was the poster about outpatient working for the cocaine addiction) and as a parent, although it may be hard to accept, the only program that will truly work for Alex is one that he can buy into.  He needs to be able to work with and trust his therapist for any type of therapy to help.  His parents may be wonderful human beings, but there are also family issues that need to be addressed and resolved.


[ This Message was edited by: Sylvia on 2006-01-11 16:37 ]
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Offline Aunt Shelly

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« Reply #586 on: January 11, 2006, 07:36:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-01-11 15:28:00, Anonymous wrote:

"It is a twelve step program similar to al anon.



Can be very helpful if you are open to it.



If you are determined to use, it is a great place to score.



If you have trouble owning up to your misdeeds and turning yourself over to a higher power, it can be a struggle.



The greatest thing about attending meetings like this is that there are shining examples of people who have overcome their addictions.  You have to own up to having an addication problem to get the most out of it.



Does that help any?"
Yes, thank you
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Offline Aunt Shelly

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« Reply #587 on: January 11, 2006, 07:41:00 PM »
Geez, cant trust anything on the internet.  Narconon is a scam also from what I've read.  Maybe local hospitals?  Who do you trust?
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Offline Aunt Shelly

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« Reply #588 on: January 11, 2006, 07:45:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-01-11 16:33:00, Sylvia wrote:

"got it, thanks.



I don't know where you are in Michigan but was trying to point you toward some resources.



I know how overwhelming this is for the whole family and the sense of urgency of getting Alex the right placement.



Speaking as one who has been there/done that both as a youth (I was the poster about outpatient working for the cocaine addiction) and as a parent, although it may be hard to accept, the only program that will truly work for Alex is one that he can buy into.  He needs to be able to work with and trust his therapist for any type of therapy to help.  His parents may be wonderful human beings, but there are also family issues that need to be addressed and resolved.





[ This Message was edited by: Sylvia on 2006-01-11 16:37 ]"
I truly believe that they need to go through a program together as a family.  Trust has to be reestablished and they all need new resources to use when thinkgs get rough.  Ashley states that he realized he had a problem and was willing to go into a program.  I hope that is true.  If he comes home and wont help himself, his future is bleak.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #589 on: January 11, 2006, 08:09:00 PM »
Not just family, but even Ashley could go to meetings with him.  Lots of people bring family to meetings, at least some of the time, especially when receiving sobriety chips for month and yearly milestones.  

I agree, if you're determined to use, it's a great place to score.  Some of the meeting attendees are court ordered to attend and will only be sober until they're off probation.  Many are sincere.  Some start out faking it and realize they need to change their lives- probably what the courts are hoping for.  I think it will be important for Alex to have a balance of friends in his life- not only other addicts- so that he has other people in his life if some fellow NarcAnon-ers relapse.
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Offline Ashley's Mom

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« Reply #590 on: January 11, 2006, 08:13:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-01-11 16:45:00, Aunt Shelly wrote:

"
Quote

On 2006-01-11 16:33:00, Sylvia wrote:


"got it, thanks.





I don't know where you are in Michigan but was trying to point you toward some resources.





I know how overwhelming this is for the whole family and the sense of urgency of getting Alex the right placement.





Speaking as one who has been there/done that both as a youth (I was the poster about outpatient working for the cocaine addiction) and as a parent, although it may be hard to accept, the only program that will truly work for Alex is one that he can buy into.  He needs to be able to work with and trust his therapist for any type of therapy to help.  His parents may be wonderful human beings, but there are also family issues that need to be addressed and resolved.








[ This Message was edited by: Sylvia on 2006-01-11 16:37 ]"

I truly believe that they need to go through a program together as a family.  Trust has to be reestablished and they all need new resources to use when thinkgs get rough.  Ashley states that he realized he had a problem and was willing to go into a program.  I hope that is true.  If he comes home and wont help himself, his future is bleak.  "


Aunt Shelly,

He also admitted to us that he felt he needed treatment as well.  He really wanted to go to treatment that his family could be involved in as well.  He wanted to help himself and his relationship with his family.  I truly believe when he gets home he will concentrate on helping himself.  He has a lot of family support, as well as our support.
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Offline Aunt Shelly

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« Reply #591 on: January 11, 2006, 08:20:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-01-11 17:13:00, Ashley's Mom wrote:

"
Quote

On 2006-01-11 16:45:00, Aunt Shelly wrote:


"
Quote


On 2006-01-11 16:33:00, Sylvia wrote:



"got it, thanks.







I don't know where you are in Michigan but was trying to point you toward some resources.







I know how overwhelming this is for the whole family and the sense of urgency of getting Alex the right placement.







Speaking as one who has been there/done that both as a youth (I was the poster about outpatient working for the cocaine addiction) and as a parent, although it may be hard to accept, the only program that will truly work for Alex is one that he can buy into.  He needs to be able to work with and trust his therapist for any type of therapy to help.  His parents may be wonderful human beings, but there are also family issues that need to be addressed and resolved.











[ This Message was edited by: Sylvia on 2006-01-11 16:37 ]"


I truly believe that they need to go through a program together as a family.  Trust has to be reestablished and they all need new resources to use when thinkgs get rough.  Ashley states that he realized he had a problem and was willing to go into a program.  I hope that is true.  If he comes home and wont help himself, his future is bleak.  "




Aunt Shelly,



He also admitted to us that he felt he needed treatment as well.  He really wanted to go to treatment that his family could be involved in as well.  He wanted to help himself and his relationship with his family.  I truly believe when he gets home he will concentrate on helping himself.  He has a lot of family support, as well as our support.

"
That sounds like the old Alex I used to know.
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Offline CaughtInTheMiddle

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« Reply #592 on: January 11, 2006, 08:35:00 PM »
If Alex and his parents agree on inpatient treatment will ashley support that?
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Offline Ashley's Mom

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« Reply #593 on: January 11, 2006, 08:48:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-01-11 17:35:00, CaughtInTheMiddle wrote:

"If Alex and his parents agree on inpatient treatment will ashley support that? "


Ashley is at work, so she can not answer for herself, but I think I can answer that for her.  I believe if it is an inpatient program that is local and she is allowed some sort of communication, whether is letters, meetings, phone calls, she would be in 100% support of it.  I really think that the whole thing about no contact for six months to possibly a year freaked them both out.  Please, just do a lot of research on inpatient programs for him, make sure they are certified and close enough so the family can be involved. Most of these programs will be covered under the health insurance as well, even out-patient. I emailed Dawns Farm to you, I don't know much about it, but from what I understand it is a pretty good program.  There were several younger people there, I m not sure if under 18, but you would have to check on that.  Any place that stops all communication and contact is not the proper treatment.
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Offline Ashley's Mom

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« Reply #594 on: January 11, 2006, 08:50:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-01-11 17:09:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Not just family, but even Ashley could go to meetings with him.  Lots of people bring family to meetings, at least some of the time, especially when receiving sobriety chips for month and yearly milestones.  



I agree, if you're determined to use, it's a great place to score.  Some of the meeting attendees are court ordered to attend and will only be sober until they're off probation.  Many are sincere.  Some start out faking it and realize they need to change their lives- probably what the courts are hoping for.  I think it will be important for Alex to have a balance of friends in his life- not only other addicts- so that he has other people in his life if some fellow NarcAnon-ers relapse."


Ashley already said she would go to any meetings with Alex.  At this time, her couselor has not recommended treatment for her.  She seems to be doing pretty good, just not so good emotionally.  I think after the last two days, her spirits are perking up and things are moving in the right direction for all.
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Offline CaughtInTheMiddle

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« Reply #595 on: January 11, 2006, 09:13:00 PM »
I also believe they should have contact with each other. That is why I ask when he comes home they are going to want to see each other it would be nice to know everyone is on the same page.
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Offline Ashley's Mom

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« Reply #596 on: January 11, 2006, 09:17:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-01-11 18:13:00, CaughtInTheMiddle wrote:

"I also believe they should have contact with each other. That is why I ask when he comes home they are going to want to see each other it would be nice to know everyone is on the same page."


Absolutely, I believe we are!  Please keep us posted as to what is happening.  Thanks again for the communication.  If I can help in any way, with anything, please let me know.
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Offline CCM girl 1989

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« Reply #597 on: January 11, 2006, 10:22:00 PM »
Let's keep our fingers crossed that whatever treatment facility Alex ends up at, that it is close to home. Having family, and friends that are supportive, is so helpful in the recovery process.
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f you were never in a program, or a parent of a child in a program, then you have no business posting here.

Offline Shlee

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« Reply #598 on: January 11, 2006, 10:37:00 PM »
This is wonderful!  This is exactly what Alex and I wanted from day 1, open-ended communication and consideration of each other.  Alex would be and WILL be proud.  Also, yes I am in complete support of in-patient treatment.  I don't even care if we have contact for that 30 days so long I know where he is, he's getting treated right, it's what he wants and he'll come out of it a better person.  Please, let me be the last person anyone thinks about, let Alex get home and be safe...Thank you for finally understanding, I appreciate every second you listen.
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prung my boyfriend from Spring Creek

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Offline CaughtInTheMiddle

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« Reply #599 on: January 12, 2006, 10:42:00 AM »
AUNT SHELLY,

 Do you have an email address? if so please email me. CaughtInTheMiddleSCL@yahoo.com I want to be able to send you links.
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