Sounds like he was in Paradice Cove. Those two words explain it all, to those who know what they mean.
I came into this around april '04, so I too have been aware of this for about a year (and a half) myself.
Theres nothing for me to say that you dont already know, by now, Im sure... not about the programs, the industry, the palpable EVIL of it all, or the varying emotions taht rollercoaster from highs to lows.. hope and joy, to despair and hate.
One thing I can say, is that you shouldn't let those little demons of depression, hatred (no matter how well deserved) get to you. You already proved that youre above apathy and fear by reading, thinking, feeling, and even posting about it.
Everyone has their own demons to fight. Everyone has something that keeps them up at night or troubles their mind during idle moments of the day. And well, for people like the two of us, thinking its hopeless or getting depressed about the situation, and the constant thought that this very moment there are tens of thousands of children in little torture camps around the USA and a handful (that still remain) overseas. But you know what? Feeling hopeless or giving in to depression is what the people running it all want. Its how they break the children, they make them feel powerless and feel hopeless so they give in. And if we do, then they win, because we wont even try to change anything.
You also cant let hatred or anger get the best of you. I did myself for a long time and Im finally realizing that I got to just let it flow through me like the muadib lets fear flow through him... well, if youve seen or read "Dune" youd know what I meant. There was a time that I so passionately wanted a bloody death to everyone even remotly involved in this that Id just as soon snap my fingers and see them turned into hamburger before my eyes, or pull the trigger myself if they were lined up before a wall and I had enough ammunition or enough stamina to beat the butt of a rifle through their temple. But, well, not only is that illegal, thats also playing into their game. Their seminars are just the most distilled version of their manipulation game. You turn up the emotions and the intellect is moved to the back burner.
So what do we do? Well, after I hit my low from thinking and dealing with and trying to help with all this mess, I finally realized I cant let myself be personally hurt or screwed up by this, as selfish as it sounds. I dont mean that im putting myself before that kid in O.P. right now or the kids still awake (or just woken up) for a marathon rap/propheet/seminar/workshop and ignoring them. Im meaning I wont let them hurt someone else or make them give in to all the bullshit and stop trying. If you keep positive and keep moving forwards while still keeping the goal in mind, not focusing on whats been done and giving into the negativity of it, you and everyone else will eventually get the word out, and force everyone whose supposed to be protecting these children to do so, and just maybe get some of those assholes thrown in jail for their crimes against these children, this country, humanity, and whatever divinity exists in this universe.
I realize Im sounding a lot different from my usual self, but its becuase I finally turned my eyes to something spiritual. Hope and love is something that can be in short supply if you absorb yourself in this too much, and everyone needs something to look towards in awe and to feel hopeful in. For me, its the future, and the potential of humanity, and that something is there. You can call it 'nature', or 'God', or 'AhuraMazdah', or the 'Great Noodly One'. I dont care. Im just sick of having a bitter outlook tainted by the worst in humanity, and I think its time to look at whats good in it and pay attention to what some of our more 'primitive', but more cultured ancient socieites might have to say about it. We're all stretching to the same end, trying to reach the same goal, and bathe in the same fountain of hope and joy here. The only problem with Religion to me is the 'middle men' who take what someone who had a moment of insight and enligthement said, stick their fingers in it to make a buck and get some power, and fuck it all up!
When I first found out about all this shit I literally did nothing but sob and stare at what I had found in a near catatonic stupor, but I eventually turned that into a rage. Now, I finally got rid of that rage and that depressed low that came from realizing that I wont see the end of it tomorrow. I realized I had done a lot, I had made a lot of people I had met about this feel better, and that I couldnt just fall into the little trap these people are so damned good at setting.
So dont do that to yourself. Im not saying forget what they've done, but I am saying to focus instead of the end of all this torment and the justice for everyone responsible. Its no matter of if, but it IS a matter of when! What goes up must come down, and the one constant is that everything changes. The day will come when this is over, a memory, a horror story of the system failing and parents giving into fear and the manipulators saying that everyone else is, when a few people take the fall and most likely the bigwigs in this run with their tail between their legs and hide in seclusion, fearing the media and those they harmed.
And you know what? Its going to happen that must sooner becuase of people like you and me, and because of some brave individuals like Ginger there who didnt run from her own past, and gave us a place to talk about all this, and stood up to those stupid lawsuits and threats of various sorts from various assholes, and even the occasional troll speaking afoul of her or her family!
And well, in closing, heres that poem:
I will not fear
Fear is the mindkiller,
Fear is the little death
That brings total Oblivion
I will permit my fear to pass
Over me and through me
And where it has gone
I will turn the inner eye
Nothing will be there
Only I will remain. - Mua'Dib
Jails and prisons are the complement of schools; so many less as you have of the latter, so many more you must have of the former
--Horace Mann