PROPER DISPOSAL OF YOUR ELAN-BOT: Section 1, 2, & 3-4: BY CHIEF MECHANIC TONY MERRET.
"There comes a point when your elan-bots serviceable lifespan is over. The typical elan bot will survive for 10-20 after graduation before normal wear and tear causes your elan-bot to self-destruct, usually manifesting itself with a suicide or drug/alcohol overdose. Oftentimes however, elan-bots become so decrepid and rusted, that their self-destruct mechanisms fail, necessitating a manual termination sequence."
"Insulting your elan-bot will not accomplish anything, their innate programmed resistance to EG's, VR's, GM's, and 2/3-house GM's means you would have to scream profanities in several different languages for at least 72 hours straight at levels in excess of 110dB while spitting enough saliva in its face to sink a Decauter-class Navy destroyer - for normal people who did not buy into the program, this is nearly impossible."
"Many owners have attempted to throw out their elan-bots using their local sanitation services. This puts your garbagemen and women at an extremely high risk, as the corrosive and abrasive nature of the older line of elan-bots can be fatal if not handled properly. This may also be in violation of several local and state ordinances governing toxic waste. Another method commonly practiced by elan-bot owners is too use a sawzall or other cutting tool to slice the elan-robot into smaller, more manageable pieces, where they can then be transported and dumped at local junkyards or dumps. This puts the owner at high risk, due to the silicone used in their elan programming chips, and the asbestos fibre that serves as ligaments for their joints."
"Chief Mechanic Tony Merret recommends you call elan for assistance in deactivating your elan bot. Your robot will be taken back home, to the IMR where it can be properly drained of its fluids and lube. The valves and any salvagable wires will be removed and sold for spare parts. This service generally runs anywhere from $155-260 including transportation. We recommend you remove any foreign objects or loose change you may have inserted into your elan-bot, as valubles will not be returned. The exact nature of what happens, and where these old bots go is kept strictly classified by Chief Mechanic Chief Martin R. Kruglick, but do not worry - they will be at piece (sic)."
