Author Topic: Artman-bot model #A-1 malfunstion troubleshooting guide  (Read 3845 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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Artman-bot model #A-1 malfunstion troubleshooting guide
« on: August 24, 2005, 01:27:00 PM »
My artman-bot needs to be destroyed, what do you recommend to be done with this old inferior out of date unit bot?
It is very tired and no longer serves any purpose in life.

I tried several times insulting it and telling it that it is worthless and to deactivate but the bot will just not listen. Any thoughts?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Artman-bot model #A-1 malfunstion troubleshooting guide
« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2005, 01:27:00 PM »
Lettissue will gladly eat it.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Artman-bot model #A-1 malfunstion troubleshooting guide
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2005, 01:33:00 PM »
This old artman bot unit keeps saying how it was raised on the southside of Chicago and it still thinks at its age it is a bad ass. I mean this thing is OLD, it is covered with grey hairs, flabby muscle tissue and plenty of wrinkles across the face.
I don't even think the penis option on it works any longer.

Not only is this bot a burden but it also costs me money. It needs several servings of metimucil and now requires depends diapers for its many times a day leaks and unexpected accidents.

It also requires an elevated toilet seat becuase the artman bot can no longer bend down far enough to sit itself down on a toilet seat.

I thought about donating it to a senior citizen home but no homes will take it. A matter of fact, the homes wouldn't even take it if I paid them.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Mister Pink

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Artman-bot model #A-1 malfunstion troubleshooting guide
« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2005, 01:53:00 PM »
PROPER DISPOSAL OF YOUR ELAN-BOT: Section 1, 2, & 3-4: BY CHIEF MECHANIC TONY MERRET.

"There comes a point when your elan-bots serviceable lifespan is over. The typical elan bot will survive for 10-20 after graduation before normal wear and tear causes your elan-bot to self-destruct, usually manifesting itself with a suicide or drug/alcohol overdose. Oftentimes however, elan-bots become so decrepid and rusted, that their self-destruct mechanisms fail, necessitating a manual termination sequence."

"Insulting your elan-bot will not accomplish anything, their innate programmed resistance to EG's, VR's, GM's, and 2/3-house GM's means you would have to scream profanities in several different languages for at least 72 hours straight at levels in excess of 110dB while spitting enough saliva in its face to sink a Decauter-class Navy destroyer - for normal people who did not buy into the program, this is nearly impossible."

"Many owners have attempted to throw out their elan-bots using their local sanitation services. This puts your garbagemen and women at an extremely high risk, as the corrosive and abrasive nature of the older line of elan-bots can be fatal if not handled properly. This may also be in violation of several local and state ordinances governing toxic waste. Another method commonly practiced by elan-bot owners is too use a sawzall or other cutting tool to slice the elan-robot into smaller, more manageable pieces, where they can then be transported and dumped at local junkyards or dumps. This puts the owner at high risk, due to the silicone used in their elan programming chips, and the asbestos fibre that serves as ligaments for their joints."

"Chief Mechanic Tony Merret recommends you call elan for assistance in deactivating your elan bot. Your robot will be taken back home, to the IMR where it can be properly drained of its fluids and lube. The valves and any salvagable wires will be removed and sold for spare parts. This service generally runs anywhere from $155-260 including transportation. We recommend you remove any foreign objects or loose change you may have inserted into your elan-bot, as valubles will not be returned. The exact nature of what happens, and where these old bots go is kept strictly classified by Chief Mechanic Chief Martin R. Kruglick, but do not worry - they will be at piece (sic)."
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
quot;Its a shame the way she makes me scrub the floor\" - Bob Dylan

Offline Mister Pink

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Artman-bot model #A-1 malfunstion troubleshooting guide
« Reply #4 on: August 24, 2005, 02:19:00 PM »
The exact nature of what happens, and where these old bots go is kept strictly classified by Chief Mechanic Chief Martin R. Kruglick...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
quot;Its a shame the way she makes me scrub the floor\" - Bob Dylan

Offline Mister Pink

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Artman-bot model #A-1 malfunstion troubleshooting guide
« Reply #5 on: August 24, 2005, 02:24:00 PM »
However, Jews and Injuns make beautiful babies.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
quot;Its a shame the way she makes me scrub the floor\" - Bob Dylan

Offline Anonymous

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Artman-bot model #A-1 malfunstion troubleshooting guide
« Reply #6 on: August 24, 2005, 03:38:00 PM »
Wow Andy,you are a fukin klown
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Mister Pink

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Artman-bot model #A-1 malfunstion troubleshooting guide
« Reply #7 on: August 24, 2005, 03:45:00 PM »
Wow anon, you are fucking anonymous
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
quot;Its a shame the way she makes me scrub the floor\" - Bob Dylan

Offline Anonymous

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Artman-bot model #A-1 malfunstion troubleshooting guide
« Reply #8 on: August 24, 2005, 06:33:00 PM »
Treat it with kindness it will respond like a humane being. Something none of you can relate to because you are all too busy being in humane to each other. Art is no BOT, you wish you were Art.
you "Elan Lite" whimps! ::boohoo::
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Artman-bot model #A-1 malfunstion troubleshooting guide
« Reply #9 on: August 24, 2005, 06:35:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-08-24 15:33:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Treat it with kindness it will respond like a humane being. Something none of you can relate to because you are all too busy being in humane to each other. Art is no BOT, you wish you were Art.

you "Elan Lite" whimps! ::boohoo:: "

a humane being?
in humane?
who went into the humane?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Artman-bot model #A-1 malfunstion troubleshooting guide
« Reply #10 on: August 24, 2005, 06:55:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-08-24 12:45:00, Mister Pink wrote:

"Wow anon, you are fucking anonymous
"


 :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:

And once again, Pinks one liner prevails.. Go Pink!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Artman-bot model #A-1 malfunstion troubleshooting guide
« Reply #11 on: August 24, 2005, 06:59:00 PM »
I brought my artman bot out in public and my artman bot went crazy. It started to go around and ask to lick the genitals of every male it came across.

It also went into the mens room and licked all the urinals clean and then drank the dirty unflushed shit water from all the toilets. I'm tellin ya, this artman bot is fuckin sick!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Arthur Warshitski

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Artman-bot model #A-1 malfunstion troubleshooting guide
« Reply #12 on: August 24, 2005, 07:43:00 PM »
I am an artman-bot, and I just want to let you all know the day I came off the assembly line 30 plus years ago I still function like brand new.

Though our kind "artman-bots" are basically obselete to date, we can still carry out certain tasks when given to us.

For instance, our kind loves to go to a 5 and dime and purchase all gay man nudity books and masterbate for endless hours.
Though my pecker is ancient and I do require mass quantities of Viagra, I still have alust for those magizines.

We also like to hang around grade schools pleasuring ourself during recess hours. and when accompanied by other artman-bot models we all show a great deal of spirit for each other.

We cheer each other on by saying, " go artman, go artman, go artman, you old grey haired bot."

I am Arthur Warshitski but you can call me Arty Farty.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
omo Arigato
Mr.Artman Roboto
Domo - Domo

Offline Anonymous

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Artman-bot model #A-1 malfunstion troubleshooting guide
« Reply #13 on: August 24, 2005, 08:25:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-08-24 15:55:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
Quote

On 2005-08-24 12:45:00, Mister Pink wrote:


"Wow anon, you are fucking anonymous

"




 :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:



And once again, Pinks one liner prevails.. Go Pink!"
get off his ball sack you fag
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline The Elan Reporter

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Artman-bot model #A-1 malfunstion troubleshooting guide
« Reply #14 on: August 24, 2005, 08:30:00 PM »
[ This Message was edited by: The Elan Reporter on 2005-10-26 07:40 ]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
fArt Warshitsky sucks dicks!!!