I'm having a real hard time. I spent 2 years in Straight in the early 80's. I've never dealt with the rage that I have towards Newton/Cassian and gang, ever. There is no real way to deal with it either, unless Newton was in front of me, and I could tell him exactly how I felt. But he's a coward too, so now he hides behind his fake priest's collar and fake church.
I've been able to get thru life, with the rage built up inside. The only way I know how to do this is with self medication. Smoking mother nature has provided me with a pain-free stomach, and I have fended off ulcers too as a result. Alcohol helps me forget about my rage towards Straight. I don't like to drink, but it's legal, right. I am a total non-violent pacifist. I've never struck anyone my whole entire life, but have been struck many times by ex-girlfriends for absolutely no reason, except for their impairment and/or lack of better judgement. I also have a college degree, and a professional license. I'm loving, caring, thoughtful and courteous, despite my dark rage and contempt for Straight which is hidden deep inside.
But now, I was arrested at a rock concert for smoking a joint, and now face probation. If I fail probation, I guess I go to jail. This is inconcievable to me in this day and age, considering that at the concert, anyone could buy 32oz "tubs" of beer all day long, and get as legally hammered as they want! How many lives does alcohol and tobacco take every single day, but you can buy them by the truckloads at any corner store in America! The law MUST be changed, and marijuana MUST be decriminalized. If not, than the only rational thing to do is outlaw alcohol and tobacco as well. Think about it. The studies prove it, and Canada is finally recognizing it.
http://www.dissidentvoice.org/Articles/ ... nalize.htmIf I fail probation, I'm not going to jail, one way or the other. I'm not going to be subjected to that once AGAIN in my life. I would rather be a fugitive in Canada, or put a bullet in my head, than risk being "bitch fodder" for some lonely inmate. Not gonna happen. So thanks Miller Newton. Thanks for everything. I'm trying to avoid the fantasy of walking up to Newton's fake church on Madiera Beach, and after I've asked him to publically apologize to all of us who have suffered his injustices, then blowing my head off on his front lawn. Then maybe he would understand the enormity of his deeds. I won't, but like I said, I'm not going to jail either.
Only God can play God! Look what you have done to us Newton/Cassian! My heart cries out for us all. I hope that the rest of you are in a better place than I am.
Please help change the laws. Email your reps today!!
PEACE One and All.