Dear Young Who,
The staff warned me that you would resist. They proactively informed me that you would lie and use silly rationalizations and false logic in an attempt to gain my understanding and pity. This is called manipulation (Your Family Rep explained this to me). I will have none of it. I am not listening. Work your program.
Please note that I am fully committed to keeping you in your program until you graduate. I have sold all of your possessions and rented out your room. I have cashed in your college fund. I am even willing to take out a second mortgage on your house (which you will inherit, if you get better). I am so committed to your finishing your program that I will sacrifice everything you have to achieve this goal. Be a good boy and work your program.
Know that I do this because I love you. While I have never personally met any of the staff at your program, I have read about them on the Internet and know that they also love you. Your Family Rep says so and I trust her word over yours. Everything staff does to you, even if it harms you, is only to help you work your program. You need to be treated like this in order to save you from certain death, or jail.
I think about you all the time. As I took a hot shower this morning, I thought about you taking your cold one and felt sorry for you. As your family and I ate a juicy steak, I thought about you eating raw oatmeal. I felt a bit guilty about that. This is sooo hard for me! Don't you understand how hard this is for me and how much sorrow you are bringing to me? Please work your program, so that you might come home and be our beautiful, obedient little Who again.
I want to you to accept that although I was a bad parent (I admit it. See what a good person I am?) that it was your resulting bad choices that brought you to where you are. You must accept responsibility for my shortcomings because you chose to use them as an excuse to listen to Phil Ochs.
Oh, and I have been advised you have been in contact with Fornit's posters. I have instructed your program that you are not to have any further contact with these negative, angry children (except Charly). I could just throttle those little bastards! A few kids die in programs and they jump off the deep end and condemn all the good work that is being done. They think a few months in isolation is a big deal. It is nothing compared to the life we would have had, if we had not intervened. We would have suffered so much more and you may have as well.
Now, be a good boy and work your program.
Love,
AtomicAnt
P.S. The Animal Safety people took your dog away today. They found him chained in our backyard without food or water for days. After all, since you are so irresponsible as to land in a program, there is no one here to take care of the poor thing. You must accept your responsibilities better than that and deserve to lose your pet. Work your program.
