Carlbrook

[Anonymous]

On 2006-01-17 08:34:00, Anonymous wrote:

""In just a 'few days'."-   The kid was at Carlbrook more than a few days.  He needed to be PICKED UP within a few days of the parent getting the call.



Another example of brilliant interpretation on this board."

Now here is an excellent example of a Carlbrook staffmember trying to do damage control.

Lets look at the facts as we can see them on the board.

Do you notice the original story was "My kid" and "We got a call" posted 01/17/2006 at 05:29:00

then...same day at 08:34:00 the story now reads "The kid" and "The Parents"

now...we can assume that this is just mere coincidence...but if you look not only at the proximity of the postings, but also at the time...(don't forget...Carlbrook is on East Coast Time) the posts were made at 8:29 am and 11:34 am...sounds like business hours to me.

things that make you go hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, I'm not a CB staffer.  I wish this board were moderated because while free speech is a great thing, lots of lies and assumptions get into the mix.  I found this board back in 2003 before my kid even did wilderness.  I used it extensively to check out programs, and found it very useful.  At that time (2003) this board had no negative comments on Carlbrook.  The school was fairly new, and there was no internet dirt to be found on it back then.  Carlbrook does ask kids to leave, and it's entirely possible that someone else on this board has been in the same situation.  You get the unhappy news in a phone call, and then you have to scramble to make last minute plane reservations, which are not cheap, fly into Raleigh/Durham, rent a car, drive through Greensboro, up through Danville, Virginia and then through Middle of Nowhere, Virginia to get to Carlbrook.  It's all sudden, and you have to unexpectedly schedule time off work.  On top of that, your kid is upset, and you and your spouse are upset, and you don't have a lot of time to figure out what the hell to do.  But, hey, if you think I'm a Carlbrook staff member, you are entitled to your opinion.  It's entirely wrong, but it seems like you're used to being an asshole.

[try another castle]

I find it hard to believe that you had been reading the boards prior to sending your kid to carlbrook. If you had, you would have already been familiar with the CEDU schools, as well as Cascade, and your alarm bells would have gone off when you discovered that two of the deans at carlbrook were from those orginizations. You might have also been alerted when they billed themselves as an "emotional growth" school, after how many mentionings on this board of how that is a behavior mod euphamism. I would have also thought that the board would have taught you to do some investigating into what kind of school you were sending your child to. Just because a school is not mentioned on fornits doesn't mean it shouldn't be held up to scrutiny.

Exactly what part of the fornits board were you reading in 2003 that you would have missed all of this? The web development forum?

It also seems that the only reason you have posted on this board is to talk about how great Carlbrook is. Your kid is out of that school, so what is your motivation for continuing to sing its praises on an online forum? You sure seem vehement to do damage control for it. It doesn't really add up.

[Anonymous]

On 2006-01-18 19:09:00, Anonymous wrote:

"  At that time (2003) this board had no negative comments on Carlbrook.  The school was fairly new, and there was no internet dirt to be found on it back then.  "

well there is your answer...it takes time for the people that knew the heads of the school to track them down to see where they are now cultivating even more of these schools. You aren't conversing with idiots on this board we have known these people for decades.  You have been researching these schools for 2-3 years...or so you say.  Give it time...Tim Brace will be running another school somewhere else...the subordinates will move up a notch and one will assume headmaster duties at Carlbrook...Tim will take a few people with him to start the new school (just like the move from CEDU to RMA)and maybe even recruit a few of the students that he has deemed "not worthy of a college education" to come with him and start up a new school.

and...speaking of Carlbrook...or any of these schools.  Just ask how the day is spent...ask them to show you a weekly hour by hour of what is going on.  After that...tell me where they find time to fit in an education?  Those teachers must have the cuuuuushiest teaching job in the world...hell...I TAUGHT THE MATH CLASS AT RMA...sure there was another teacher that was supposed to do it...but he wasn't nearly as adept at math as me.  I got bored with teaching so I finally gave up and we just spent the time sitting around listening to "war stories" as we called them from the teacher.

I still got my high school diploma though...go figure.

Care to hear what I did for English, History and some of the other classes that I received credit for?

[try another castle]

You didn't have Will Vernard teach you, by any chance, did you? Cause he totally knew his shit.

I remember when they built the emerson academic  building, Will started teaching math, and that's when I actually started learning something again. I took trig from him. He was one of the few people who actually knew what he was talking about. Most of the classes, however, were still bullshit.

Before that, we had to learn crap like "mortenson math" which was the biggest crock of shit ever. It was like math with lego blocks. And I remember our equivalent of physics was getting in a van with Ed and having a balloon tied inside the car and seeing which way it would go when he drove forward. I remember him saying "Ok now, hold on. I'm gonna peel out."

[Antigen]

On 2006-01-18 19:09:00, Anonymous wrote:

I wish this board were moderated because while free speech is a great thing, lots of lies and assumptions get into the mix.

That's true of the moderated boards as well. Those ones reflect the bias of the moderators while this one reflects the many biases of all who care to post.

Pray: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
--Ambrose Bierce

[Anonymous]

On 2006-01-18 19:09:00, Anonymous wrote:

"  You get the unhappy news in a phone call, and then you have to scramble to make last minute plane reservations, which are not cheap, fly into Raleigh/Durham, rent a car, drive through Greensboro, up through Danville, Virginia and then through Middle of Nowhere, Virginia to get to Carlbrook.  It's all sudden, and you have to unexpectedly schedule time off work.  On top of that, your kid is upset, and you and your spouse are upset, and you don't have a lot of time to figure out what the hell to do.   "

I hear the screech of a lone violin. Care for some cheese with that whine? Poor parents: Needing to schedule time off work; book expensive flights; and deal with the stress of a child's upset. This is the price a parent should pay, for sending a child far away--to the boonies or elsewhere.

[Nihilanthic]

On 2006-01-19 08:09:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

On 2006-01-18 19:09:00, Anonymous wrote:


"  You get the unhappy news in a phone call, and then you have to scramble to make last minute plane reservations, which are not cheap, fly into Raleigh/Durham, rent a car, drive through Greensboro, up through Danville, Virginia and then through Middle of Nowhere, Virginia to get to Carlbrook.  It's all sudden, and you have to unexpectedly schedule time off work.  On top of that, your kid is upset, and you and your spouse are upset, and you don't have a lot of time to figure out what the hell to do.   "

I hear the screech of a lone violin. Care for some cheese with that whine? Poor parents: Needing to schedule time off work; book expensive flights; and deal with the stress of a child's upset. This is the price a parent should pay, for sending a child far away--to the boonies or elsewhere."

I live in Raleigh. Wanna go for a ride?

Our youth can not understand why society chooses to criminalize a behavior with so little visible ill effect or adverse social impact... These young people have jumped the fence and found no cliff.

http://www.druglibrary.org/schaffer/library/studies/nc/ncmenu.htm' target='_new'>Commission on Marihuana and Drug Abuse

[Anonymous]

My son was asked to leave Carlbrook early, too.  They relented (after I raised hell) and allowed him to finish the academic quarter.  The school decided that he wasn't going to complete the 14 month program because we were looking at other schools (prep boarding schools), so they didn't want him there with a short-timer's attitude.  He came home that May, after 9 months at Carlbrook, 7 weeks of which were spent back in wilderness.  Tim Brace does not run the school.  Grant Price does.  The real bozo there is Glenn Bender.  He is totally worthless.  He purported to be the academic dean when my son was there.  Believe it or not, there are some excellent academic teachers there.  They tend to have a lot of conflicts with the administration and also with the therapeutic staff, for obvious reasons.  The weaker academic teachers don't last long there.  The parent body at Carlbrook is pretty demanding and a lot of the kids came from top academic schools.  The parents expect good academics and Carlbrook generally delivers.  There are some outstanding therapists, although the best one, Robert Somers, got booted for making an insensitive remark.  
You can slam me and call me a program parent, which I am not.  I am giving you my objective opinion about the school. It isn't perfect. It does a good job in some areas, and is probably the best of the lot.  Whatever Tim did at his prior schools, it isn't going on at Carlbrook.  I am NOT a Tim Brace fan- I find him too emotional and teary.  I will say that he showed my son kindness and compassion which led to some break-throughs in his pent-up anger.  My son did not buy into the program. He moved from total resistance to faking it enough to get by. He was very engaged in his academics which led to his acceptance to some top prep boarding schools- even with Carlbrook on his record.  He broke a lot of rules at Carlbrook and was on bans (not allowed to speak) with most of his peer-group.  I believe after the staff knew he was leaving early, that he was emotionally abused by several of the therapists and Glenn Bender in particular.  My son asked me not to intervene- he wanted to prove to himself that he could survive the last month no matter what they threw at him. He remains in touch with a number of Carlbrook classmates- two of whom are at his prep school with him now.  He also keeps in touch with some of the senior staff- he communicates with one of the top guys in Latin.  
To my surprise, my son liked the workshops and was upset that he was leaving Carlbrook before he got to finish them (not that he wanted to stay any longer....).  
So- was Carlbrook the right thing?  I think it was the best option we had.  My son agrees with that in that it has allowed him to be where he is today (at a top prep school heading for a top college). He thinks wilderness was the better program as far as emotional growth.  We were given some incorrect (i.e. totally misleading) information at the time our son was enrolled at Carlbrook.  The school was still fairly new and there were some glitches in the system.  I think it has improved.  They have a waiting list, so they can be pretty picky about who they admit.  
Grant Price is a very intelligent young man who has done an incredible job of building his dream of an emotional growth school based on a different model than Cascade or any of the others.  He is a difficult person and not many of the boys at Carlbrook can stand him- until they graduate.  Tim  Brace is harmless.  Glenn Bender is lethal.  
Take it for what it is worth.

[Anonymous]

GLENN BENDER...there's another old time RMA'er...funny how those guys seem to stick together...and I agree with you completely.

It is nicce to hear that you have found a prep school for your son that sounds like one of the "non theraputic" types.  There are many good choices out there. It doesn't have to be one of the "Ivy League" to still afford him a quality education and a good time to boot.

He'll have the opportunity to get into trouble there more than at Carlbrook...don't worry...this is actually a good thing in a way.  That way...by the time he gets to college, he will have already lived away from home and most likely will eschew the pervasive party atmosphere in college as he will be able to recognize that there are a lot of kids in college who are getting "cut loose" for the first time.  The importance of school won't be clouded by the new found freedom that most college students experience...just my opinion though.

If your son got into trouble at carlbrook...especially to the point of being asked to leave...then as they would have said at RMA he "wasn't getting with the program".  This is a good thing...it's not that one can't pull good life lessons from their experiences at these schools...but the negatives that come from "getting with the program" as I did lead me to believe that even for parents that are at their wits end with their children...there are still other options. It sounds like you have found a god option for him currently.

It also sounds like your son will do well.  I would only suggest that as he grows over the years, to take a look at the world around him. Take notice of how people interact what they say/don't say, etc etc etc.  When viewing the world outside the programs, one starts to realize that certain aspects of the program that although may seem benign...or even beneficial at the time really do not apply to real world situations.  If I could sum things up in a sentence I would say "Be a good person, be kind to others, but keep your hand close to your chest as they say...what applied on the inside does not apply on the outside always"

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your courteous reply.  My son had already been at a "normal" boarding school. He got kicked out of a day prep school (he is very strong academically and athletically) at the end of 8th grade for fighting. The only option was boarding. It worked fine for 9th grade, but he got kicked out in March of 10th grade. You'll have to trust me when I say that he was totally out of control. (he would agree)  We didn't make the decision to send him to wilderness and jeopardize his academic and athletic future without a lot of heartache.  The best thing that came out of his time away was that he recognized what he was costing himself by the impulsivity that got him kicked out of school.   Now 19, he still pushes the limits, but he has done well enough that he will be attending his first choice college (an Ivy) in the fall.  One of the Carlbrook kids in school with him now got into one of the top midwest liberal arts colleges early decision, and the other kid is being recruited for basketball by several universities.  
My point is that there is a lot of success after Carlbrook.  There are also a lot of failures. A girl from our hometown who was at Carlbrook didn't last a semester at college.  She has been in and out of rehab since Carlbrook.

[try another castle]

Glenn Bender.. when was he at RMA? What was his position or family he was with? I don't remember him. He sounds awful.

[Anonymous]

glenn was gone before you arrived...he was involved more with older students when i got their.  I never had much interaction with him but he was always "pulling people up"

[try another castle]

I remember when I first got there I used to call that "pushing people down".

[Anonymous]

Bender tries to blind people with his PhD. He wanders around the school doing little good, but looks impressive on the school's list of directors.
If you cross him, he will never get over it- parent OR kid!