Our son was not sent away as a punishment. The consequences to him were that he lost a year of freedom
I would say you contradicted yourself in this sentence.
I can't imagine a kid like my son liking any program of this type.
I've met a lot of teens who went through various drug-rehabs and other faciltiies who actually enjoyed the treatment, and at the same time got better. They didn't view it as punishment. These facilities were following the modern treatment model, and didn't usually call themselves 'programs'.
I am curious what
type -- as you put it -- of program you consider Carlbrook?
No, there was no better alternative, except perhaps Oakley.
How can you be so sure? You didn't say, 'I don't know, there are too many options to know for sure', you said no. How can you answer with such certainty, even after your son told you 'he hated the program'?
He was helped by the staff and by his peers in some ways, and by himself in others.
Sounds applicable to everyday life, learning from those around us and ourselves. I'm curious if the staff had any particular training or specialized education requirements to work with the kids?
His issues were anger and entitlement.
I understand anger, but what is entitlement? Doesn't that problem start with the family, otherwise, how would he have been taught to feel entitled to anything, was there an outside source other than the family who spoiled him or something? I'm just not sure why I want you to punish someone for a sense of entitlement? I mean -- the real world will solve that one real fast, don't have enough money for your apartment? You get kicked out, no matter
how entitled you feel. Did you really have to send him away and spend so much money to teach this simple fact of life? As far as anger, what do you think brought that on?
There was some substance abuse but that was not the core issue.
Do you feel Carlbrook provides adequete drug counseling for those with drug problems?
He was enmeshed in a really unhealthy relationship with a girl (by his eventual admission).
Well, who among us hasn't become involved with someone we wished we had never met!? :lol: After several changed phone numbers, I can relate! Do you really think sending him away is a healthy way to deal with this? Isn't it better to teach him responsibility and to be a man and upfront with the girl and break it off if he feels its uneahtlhy? Running away from problems isn't a very healthy alternative as an adult, so why teach this behavior as a teen?
He had been kicked out of school and had no good educational alternative.
Really? I was kicked out of high school too and was told similar stories. Until I did my own research and found out about a new thing called charter schools, in which I thrived. Sure, I wasn't getting into an ivy-league school graduating from there, but it was better than nothing. I went to community college and transfered to a four year school. I could get into an ivy-league for graduate studies if I wanted [and could afford it, lol]. All this without any help from my parents. So, I'm just saying, sometimes kids take longer than we had hoped. And them falling behind academically is not the end of the world, they can always work there way back up -- it's not hard at all, once you want it.
A lot of the kids at Carlbrook really like the program. Many of them think the restrictiveness is close to what regular boarding schools are like.
Good. I've been to a few boarding schools, they are pretty relaxed about communication and such, which programs take more seriously in restricting. I haven't been to Carlbrook to compare though, that is why I am asking.
My son knew better and resented the lack of cell phones, internet, dating etc.
Yeah most teenagers do. I believe the lack of social contact with girls can be a hinderence later in life though.
If there was an alternative to the steps we took, I would have found it. There wasn't.
At least none that you are aware of... right? Otherwise it suggests you found every single option out there, and still concluded Carlbrook to be the right choice... are you claiming this? How many months/years of research before placing your son did did it take to accomplish this momumental task, if you don't mind my asking?
I'm curious as to why you are so intense with your defense of this program. If there are kids out there saying otherwise, why not give them equal chance to disclose their views of the school (without calling them bullshit)? I am not here to attack, just to try and understand.
