Carlbrook

[hanzomon4]

Ok, I just one question for now.. Was the therapist, who told you that it was to early for you son to come home, connected to the school.... did they have proper credentials.


@Nihil, Chillout it's ok you can't change the world all at once. And   screaming makes us all deaf to what the screamer is yelling...

Were these therapists associated with carlbrook? had they based their decision (even partially) on carlbrook's review/recommendations?

It looks like we're all posting at the same time  ::bwahaha::

[Charly]

Both therapists were at the wilderness program- and another opinion was given by our home town therapist.  This decision was made during wilderness and did not involve Carlbrook.

[Nihilanthic]

STILL waiting on wilderness specifics.

[Anonymous]

Has anyone else seen that show trading spouses before?

[psy]

I believe what my son tells me.  He is fine.

And i'm sure he believes it too.  He might even be totally fine (especially since he didn't break).  Just consider the possibility that at some point in the future things might start bothering him and he might not know why until he looks back at Carlbrook.

LGAT techniques are powerful shit.  It's damn near impossible to remain unaffected.  The APA agrees that damage is not caused in all cases, but it happens a lot.

The thing is, he's male, and it's often hard for males to admit problems, if he starts having anxiety, or other symptoms of PTSD, he might not report it out of shame.

That being said, it is up to him to figure out if he was truly unaffected by the program and nobody here or anywhere can tell you definitively if he was or not.

A regular boarding school was not an option. He got kicked out of one.

This is why it was not viable Niles.

He interviewed and applied to 6 and was rejected from all because of getting kicked out of one.  These schools don't take problems.  There has never been a parent who has tried to bail out a kid more than I have.  I defended him against the expulsion, did everything to help him get into another school,but it didn't work.  

Knowing what I know now, I would look for something different post wilderness.  But I did not know what I know now and I have no way to know what the result of a different choice would have been.

It could have been better or worse.  In any case, it would seem as if you removed him before he broke.  If you had heeded Carlbrook's advice, and forced him to stay, he would have broken (i'm pretty sure of that).  It's what happend to me.  After my parents rejected my pleas for help...  I felt hopeless.  And i gave my mind to the program...

What i was not told at the time (go figure) was that my parents had actually tried to have me removed, but... long story short, the program killed that idea by insisting that i be removed immediately (which they knew was not possible).

I thought at the time that they just didn't give a fuck, that they were ok with what was happening all around me... That they approved of it.

What i didn't know, was that they were never given details of what "emotional growth" went on (even on request).  They simply assumed that the counselors were qualified.  Benchmark claims that their counselors are qualified but since California has no regulation on qualifications... a counselor with no qualifications is technically qualified.  Of course my parents had no way of knowing this.

I can't imagine my son could possibly be in any better place than he is right now.

I think this discussion is deteriorating and should take a break.

sure.  a break is better than a flamewar.

[Anonymous]

Does carlbrook have both girls and boys at the school and are the allowed to interact? How much is it like a normal school in day to day activities, or is it more like a treatment center, or even just a wharehouse?

[Nihilanthic]

STILL waiting on wilderness specifics.

And yeah... we can avoid a flamewar, we can say "enough", but those children can't.

Be glad, and do try to remember that. We can say enough, we can say we're about to blow up, they MAKE them blow up and cry, and punish them for it.

[Nihilanthic]

Niles water torture might finally make someone start spewing some specifics!  :rofl:

[psy]

What the hell does wilderness isolation have to do with therapy or any beneficial effect?

Introspection perhaps?  If it's done properly, with qualified staff (licenced Phds, doctors, etc), and there is proper oversight and a way to report abuse, I see no problem.  it can be good for kids to get away from society.  Ever go to camp as a kid?  It ain't that bad.  It's actually fun.

What on earth does 'wilderness' do, or do the people do and wilderness is just a setting for it?

To me, I see people not used to living in dirt, dirty, unwashed, with shitty food and forced to rely on people they dont like who very well might be unpleasant (or worse) to them, considering most of the crux of wilderness programs is about pushing their buttons until they break down, making them do repetetive tasks and make fire, and then have outbursts from emotional nonsense and use facepaint and indian names.

Licenced therapists don't do that shit or they could lose their licences.  This program does not appear to be about breaking the kids down at all.

The place's webpage actually rails against BM, negative re-enforcement, and coersion.

And of course they can't say uncle and go home.

Unless this place is different...

It is.  The staff is decked with PHDs and doctors.  They have loads and loads of safegaurds in place as well.  It's insanely expensive though.  (which makes sense considering the extent they claim to go through to keep the kids safe)

[Charly]

Carlbrook has the appearance of a nice southern prep school. The boys wear ties to class.  The academics are fairly strong- the best of any TBS. The kids go on to good colleges. The academic faculty tends to think the emotional growth part is bs.  It was a teacher who mentored my son and encouraged him to try to get out of Carlbrook and go to a regular prep boarding school.  There are some fields for sports and a basketball court and a decent weight room.  There is now a new dining hall which is supposed to be nice.  The days are structured like a regular school, but with group therapy in the afternoon. (not every day).  There is some community service work. The commons building is really nice- there is an art room and a lot of kids have musical instruments.  
There are boys and girls and they do interact.  They are not permitted to have romantic relationships, but they do.  If someone thinks a couple is getting too close, they get put on bans with each other and are not allowed to speak.
It is the closest thing to a regular boarding school I could find.  It wasn't close enough for my son- no computer, no cell phone, too much therapy and no real sports.

[hanzomon4]

Hey Charly, I just wanted to point out that you're right about the lack of options in difficult cases. That's an issue teen advocates need to take seriously if we want to truly stop parents from falling into the troubled-teen industry pitfall.

[psy]

STILL waiting on wilderness specifics.

@Charley.

This ain't ST.  if you want to mention the wilderness program here it would probably help people understand. (or not).  The place seems legit and I haven't found a single negative mention of it on anti-program sites (which is really really rare)

[Nihilanthic]

Then why does it use remoteness? Why the element of coersion that WAS present with the carlbrook kids?

If its WILLING and NOT FORCED, I could understand by someone who wants to be "away from it all" would go run away from all the nonsense to be introspective, but more often than not, its not willing, its not uncoersive, and kids have it picked for them.

Also, what if you just want to go before the date comes, but don't have a complete psychological crisis? Has nobody given thought to that?

I do know when I was a kid I HATED the thought of being sent off or sent away to anything, and the one time I was put in daycare I took my sister with me and walked over 3 miles to get home, so maybe I'm just weird... I wouldn't want to be in an alien environment with no familiarity and comforts of home if I was needing to 'grow' or 'heal' or 'thrive' or any other such buzzword, and I don't see why anyone else would, unless they are from an abusvie home, of course.

I can see why that would be beneficial for trying to break them down, however.

[Charly]

Thanks, psy.  Nihil- I just don't feel like arguing with you about wilderness right now.  Maybe another time.  Psy is summing it up pretty well.  Yes, there are levels and there are rules.  It is hard to run away.
I believe it is a quality program and I think if I could have left my son there for a year it might have been the best thing.  There was the problem of academics.  The program was very willing to adapt to what my son/we needed.  They even took him out of the field to a motel for a night and let him take his private school entrance exam at Oakley after Carlbrook messed up the opportunity for him to take the test.

[Charly]

Second Nature- Utah.