On 2005-03-02 03:01:00, formerly known as wrote:
"Sorry pathetic suckers. uh huh, right. "brainwashed". sure, whatever. just face it, you suck. pathetic. "but i believed they would court order me so i had no choice".
Some were, some weren't, and the effects were different with different individuals. Maybe the term "conditioned" would be more appropriate, and less dramatic.
2. who would believe what two evil blodthirsty vampires told them?
Ignorant, ineffective, or just plain lazy parents.
4. you could have run. fucking pathetic. give me a break.
I know someone that tried running from the foster home they were in one morning after the door was unlocked. They said that they couldn't run because they were out of shape from sitting in a blue chair for 12 hours a day, and were easily caught. A better strategy, IMO, would have been to comply outwardly long enough to leave from a higher phase.
5. at the VERY LEAST, you could have spared yourself years of mental anguish by misbehaving.
I would agree with this point. If more people had misbehaved, Straight would not have been nearly as effective, or as boring.
i am the pathetic spawn of pathetic christians.
So am I.
6. you still believed in the love of your parents. god what fucking farce. i possibly got most of you topped with xtianity bullshit in the home
Not sure about that. I had to wade through a ton of that Xtian bullshit at home. I am pretty sure they hated me as a teen, and the feeling was pretty mutual.
7. rise up and fight.
OK.
8. why did you think anyone would or could rescue you.
This actually happened once or twice. A female phaser's 'druggie boyfriend' and his friends rescued her from the parking lot one night. I think a lot of people may have entertained that thought as a means of giving themselves hope, which could have enabled them to more effectively resist. When hope is gone, resistance is pointless. Despair, and they win without a fight.
9. you caved and showed your ass to your captors. anyone who took off their clothes and let themselves be strip searched CAVED IN. at the end of the day you had a choice.
A strip search before entering a jail or institutional facility is not uncommon, and many of us may have believed the "I'll be out of here in 14 days" lie that was commonly told, and saw it as a merely unpleasant condition to endure. I'm sure that if people knew exactly what they were getting themselves into, their resistance would have been much greater. I thought I was going to be playing ping-pong and watching TV for two weeks, then sign myself out.
wouldn't you rather know the truth about yourself so you can fix what the original problem was?
Of course. But that wasn't what Straight was about. Many, if not most, of us didn't have any kind of problem before entry, only ineffective parents who were freaked out by normal, healthy adolescent rerbellion.
I HAVE HIGHER EXPECTATIONS
Of yourself? Or of everyone? One way to begin may be to drop the self-hatred for not resisting more. You were a kid caught in a fucked up situation that was neither your fault nor your choice. Now you know better, and should be able to better resist indoctrination/assimilation/brainwashing if (and I sincerely hope you don't) you are faced with it again. Cut yourself some slack. You are stronger than many---many did not survive with their will intact, and some lost their lives. The fact that you are here posting and addressing these ideas shows that you have some strength of character and intelligence. I think you might be letting your emotions cloud your judgement, though, and you're being a bit harsh on youreself and others.
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Let's Get High