Im glad at least that I finished the online book. I don't think I could take anymore.
In all honesty, If I had a glimmer of an incling of what they were trying to do, and I was closer to the age I am now in a contemporary "Seed" program like "safe". I would resist for a while to be seem legit, then bullshit. And if they bullshitted me back to make me redo a step. Any chance I got I would honestly, bite the flesh off their F*cking faces. I would not hessitate to attempt to give into a bloodlust and if anyone tackeled me I would break through or bite into them like a jackel. Im 6' 5" and 220 something pounds and lift alot so I think I could give em hell for a while. It would be satisfying just to do it to get arrested and get out...Yet from what Ive read they probably would keep trying until I was either dead or no one wanted to go near me. A full adult male can bite at 200 psi :smile:
What I want to hear is the stories of those who were enough to be intimidating to the point that these worthless f^cks just gave up and couldnt deal with them. It would make me feel a bit better knowing that some resisted all the way and really gave them hell.
I dont want to trivialize anything, I am just curious. Does anyone have a story of someone who was big enough and crazy enough to go berzerk and just go into kill mode? It would make me feel a bit better.
If I wasnt addressing the group of people Im adressing, I would say that you have no idea how depressed I am about something that has never to this day affected me. (until 12 hours ago)
I like to rant alot BTW. My mom was a social worker and she cant even see why Im so worked up. She says she doesnt want to hear about it either...
I have the unfortunate (in this case) gift of a vivid imagination and a above average knowledge of really fsking bad things you can do to people via chemicals and household items and I am thinking about what I would do to these people if they had done it to me.
The worst by far was the endless sexual stuff on the preteens and the suicides. I read every single suicide story and Im starting to get a migrane but I just am so worked up. Its just never been fed to me in this lump sum.
Hopefully Ill still get some sleep.
The conundrum is that I would easily give wreckless carnage and bloodlust to the people who canwould do this but I can be so emotionally touched by the issue down to the core. Im someone who upon hearing about this type of complete lack of Humanity that these people perpitrated on everyone, starts imagining things that I wish I could do (in a very very negative way). Like taking lye and burning their faces off, or shoving shoots of bamboo up Dr. Newtons fingers etc...
But I realise that is just wishfull thinking, and it doesnt honor the real casualties of this problem. The fact that this really IS a holocost in our back yard and that there should be something that I can do to help really makes me want to. I mean its something you would think happens in the 3rd world, yet its right under my nose like its invisible right here!
I feel bad for the suicides, but I feel worse when I read the of peole who cant even take a tylonol without having a panic attack because of what was done. The radio interview with the woman that was 13 and was raped really just cut me in two like a the jaws of life Vs. a stick of butter. I think Ive become numb to it for now, which may or may not be a good thing.
I hope that I can get to share feelings and just mingle with people on a person to persob level about this cause I sure feel for everyone here. I mean that in the most sincere way and I don't want to appear as some rube that is just posting for a day and then forgets. Im gunna go michal moore on this biotch :wink: (thats about as much humor as Ive gotten today :sad:) Im a drepressed wreck now...
and I realise that even this little tiny glimpse into what you have gone through is enough to make a 20 YO macho dude sick to his stomach. God I cant imagine what its like and what I can imagine makes me shiver.
Goodnight to everyone and Sweet dreams
[ This Message was edited by: Hannibal Lector on 2004-10-28 19:55 ]