Ok, I had it kinda bad in Elan in the early 80's ... I went thru shit for reasons that were untrue. I was degraded and humiliated and screamed at and called names I didn't deserve. I wore 7 heavy signs on my neck at one time with 2 dunce caps because I was so depressed and weighed down I floundered one day in school.
Instead of reaching out and helping me I was screamed at infront of the entire house and guest visitors that I was going to amount to nothing and I cared about nobody and that I was basically a cheap floozy (um! how can you be a floozy as a 15 yr old virgin who hated flirting!??)...
so guess what? Lynda was a raving BITCH to me... but guess what else???
WHO CARES!!!!!
What I learned was to live my life no matter what people say, especially people who don't really know me at all. That when some maniac is screaming in my face... I can wait my turn and you DAMN WELL KNOW that any Elanite will blast the shit out of anyone that dare try to get in a yelling match with you! It taught me to wait my turn because it will come.
It taught me that when I am feeling alone and beaten I can get up and make it through no matter what they do to me.
It taught me to be a kinder person who doesn't JUMP to conclusions.
It taught me to be less selfish, more honest and more forgiving...
because I didn't get those things at Elan and I realized how important and fundimental they are to all of us.
SO my shitty experience was worth it. I am not a crazy juvi deliquent anymore. I don't do drugs - I rarely drink. I married a really nice man who knows me deep down and all my secrets and I can trust I won't be hurt or turned on. I have a beautiful boy whom I admire for his eagerness of spirit...
most of all I love myself now. I really do. I have so much respect for myself for getting through all that Elan crap without totally breaking down.
And if that is the only thing i were to take away from elan that it was fucking worth it.
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What I won't do is WASTE my life BITCHING and complaining about something from almost 20 years ago!!!! It happened. It sucked. It's over - move on.
Life is NOW ... not way back then!
How can you live happy and be free of that if you are hanging on so tight?
Let the bastards rest in peace - who cares!!!!!!!!?
Do you think after you left elan they gave a second thought about you?
yet you spend a decade - or 2 - or 3 thinking about them
why ?? is it that important to live so fucking angry???
LET IT GO. It's done. You can't erase it or change the past.
Good Luck to all of you who won't let go. I hope atleast you don't do that in all the areas of your life- or you are really wasting your life!
*no I am not a preacher or religious or have any association with Elan or any fucking school like that!