jgunn, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you know that it was not your fault. They had years of experience manipulating children, it was your first time. It's normal that you feel shame, but that is not your cross to bear. They did it to you intentionally, in my eyes it is criminal to treat a child like that. I hope you can forgive yourself, you did the best you could with what you had. That's all any of us can do.