So you are really just a program parent?
May I ask what did your wife think about all this? (Sending your daughter away I mean).
And...if you are just a program parent...why do you spend years on this forum?
Your first question......There were differences in opinions but we both knew what was best for her.
Maruska, I stumbled upon fornits and found people talking about an industry that has saved thousands of lives, like it was evil, and I was struck by their stories. How could and industry which dedicates itself to turning around "at risk" youths get such a bad rap. So I stuck around and read the stories here on fornits.
Lets say you sent your Child to join a soccer team and you saw him grow and do well, make friends and then later met a group of kids who said that soccer was abusive and a cult because they forced you to follow rituals and rules, wear specific clothing and telling everyone that everyone is hurt by soccer and if anyone says they were helped then that means they must be brainwashed and part of the cult or subculture. Wouldn’t you be totally intrigued by that and interested and want to understand what drives these people to think this way? I know I would.
This is how it was with me. I was blown away by the stories here and the peoples persistence.
A big part of getting better or turning the corner is to take accountability for ones own actions. As adults we all know this, but as children it is hard to comprehend this sometimes. I noticed a similarity in the stories and those who didn’t do well in programs were also those who didn’t take accountability for what they did and blamed others for being in the program. They blamed their parents, family members, Educational Consultants or staff members. The kids who did well in programs moved on with their lives, went to college and continued down a healthy path, but they were perceived as brain washed by those who didn’t do well. Maybe this is because it threatened their belief that “all” people are hurt by programs. If you read the stories here on fornits the one piece that is missing is the individuals' involvement or contribution to their predicament. What events lead up to them being placed? This is always left out in the story and back filled with .......
" My family sent me away for no reason". What family is going to spend $100,000 for no reason? or for a kid smoking pot? Which leads us back to the accountability question.
So do you see my dilemma?
I eventually started speaking out and was tagged as an industry person and eventually even fornits admins got frustrated with me and tagged my avatar as being a nazi in an attempt to discredit my point of view. This raised the curious question of why would someone do this? Why would a group of posters care so much about an opposing point of view that they had to try to bury it? Were they that threatened by me? And if so why?
If we substituted the word “program” for “sports team” we would still get kids dyeing from heat exhaustion, being abused, screamed at, forced to carry heavy objects, clean up after themselves.
There are 1,500 or more successful suicides of teenagers every year who attend our public school system. But if even
one (1) of these deaths occurs (
Just 1....even once a year)
5 years after a person leaves a program it is considered a program death and people here are up in arms blaming the program they attended and wanting the industry or specific program shut down. Doesn’t that seem odd to you?
So I stick around to try and help families to not get so frustrated and give up on their child. Children need to be listened to and engaged and to just allow them to head down a dangerous path in the hope that everything will turn out okay is just not doing your job as a parent. Good parents need to know their child is safe at all times.
...
