an industry that has saved thousands of lives,
Citation please.
A big part of getting better or turning the corner is to take accountability for ones own actions. As adults we all know this, but as children it is hard to comprehend this sometimes. I noticed a similarity in the stories and those who didn’t do well in programs were also those who didn’t take accountability for what they did and blamed others for being in the program. They blamed their parents, family members, Educational Consultants or staff members. The kids who did well in programs moved on with their lives, went to college and continued down a healthy path, but they were perceived as brain washed by those who didn’t do well. Maybe this is because it threatened their belief that “all” people are hurt by programs. If you read the stories here on fornits the one piece that is missing is the individuals' involvement or contribution to their predicament. What events lead up to them being placed? This is always left out in the story and back filled with ....... " My family sent me away for no reason". What family is going to spend $100,000 for no reason? or for a kid smoking pot? Which leads us back to the accountability question.
Bullshit. There are plenty of us that "did well" in our respective programs. I "did well" while in there, even graduated. We blame our parents for not doing their jobs. We blame them for sending us to shitpits to "get well" when there was nothing really wrong with us to begin with, other than normal teenage screwing around or other than having parents that didn't like the fact that their kids were growing up and gaining minds and thoughts of their own. So many parents fall prey to the fearmongering that the industry uses to scare the shit out of them. Just look at any of the online questionnaires or "tests" that they use. They're ridiculous!! They "symptoms" that they use could describe pretty much any teenager. Defiant behavior seems to really hook 'em. You don't like that your kid's mouthy to you? We'll fix that! Don't like that they disrespect you? We'll fix that! Defiance is a natural part of growing up and breaking away from parents. It's a natural part of teens figuring out who they are, testing their own limits and boundaries. They need to be guided through that process and it's a goddamned difficult thing to do, I know from personal experience raising two grown girls, but it's OUR responsibility as parents.
So do you see my dilemma?
Yes. You can't accept that what you did was wrong so you twist yourself into knots attempting to justify it.
I eventually started speaking out and was tagged as an industry person and eventually even fornits admins got frustrated with me and tagged my avatar as being a nazi in an attempt to discredit my point of view.
I dont' remember you being tagged as a nazi but in any case, there wasn't an attempt to "discredit" you....it was a warning that most believed that your interest here was much more than simply a program parent.
This raised the curious question of why would someone do this? Why would a group of posters care so much about an opposing point of view that they had to try to bury it? Were they that threatened by me? And if so why?
No, we're not threatened by your point of view. We hate the fact that you twist others words, talk in complete circles, that you try to derail, deflect and distract readers when things start to hit a nerve with you. When the truth is being told, you don't like it so you come up with your ridiculous analogies to the auto industry or some such bullshit.
If we substituted the word “program” for “sports team” we would still get kids dyeing from heat exhaustion, being abused, screamed at, forced to carry heavy objects, clean up after themselves. There are 1,500 or more successful suicides of teenagers every year who attend our public school system. But if even one (1) of these deaths occurs (Just 1....even once a year) 5 years after a person leaves a program it is considered a program death and people here are up in arms blaming the program they attended and wanting the industry or specific program shut down. Doesn’t that seem odd to you?
There again.....different situations that you're trying to equate with the TTI.
And most of the deaths that we're speaking about here occurred while the kids were there! Restraint deaths seem to be particularly common. But yes, I've known people who were so traumatized by what happened to them in their program that even years after they were still suffering. That's what happens in cult-like atmospheres. It's called PTSD and sometimes it does take years before the full effects are felt.
You defend EVERYTHING they do. Even some of the most reprehensible things and programs that most everyone agrees were abusive, you're right there to defend them and tell us all why it was still the kids fault, not the program's.
And....citation please for the stats you quoted.
So I stick around to try and help families to not get so frustrated and give up on their child.
And we believe, with the amount of time and energy you spend here, that it's much more than simply a program parent trying to help out.
Children need to be listened to and engaged and to just allow them to head down a dangerous path in the hope that everything will turn out okay is just not doing your job as a parent. Good parents need to know their child is safe at all times.
Good parents don't give up on their kids. They take the time to find out what's wrong (if anything) and deal with it. They take the time to see if anything that they themselves are doing that needs to be examined. They don't simply put the blame on the kid and then ship them off to be "fixed" by unqualified strangers with quack, unproven "therapies" that have been shown to be ineffective at best and dangerous at worst. The outsourcing of parenting has become acceptable and it's absolutely abhorrent. IMO and experience, the vast majority of kids who actually do need help don't need inpatient treatment and those that do need to receive it from qualified persons and facilities.
