First you're sick and then you're worse
And then it's time to call the hearse
They put you in
the cold, cold ground
with all your relatives
standing around.
The worms crawl in
The worms crawl out
The worms they crawl
all about
The worms crawl in
The worms crawl out
They play pinochle
on your snout!
If you ever laugh
when a hearse goes by,
then you will be
the next to die.
They wrap you up
in a bloody sheet
and drop you six feet
underneath.
The worms crawl in,
the worms crawl out.
They play pinochle
at your snout.
A big, black spider
from Paradise
goes in your liver
and out your eyes.
Did you ever think when a hearse goes by
that you might be the next to die?
They wrap you up in a dirty sheet
and bury you down about six feet deep.
The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out
the ants play pinochle in your snout.
Then you turn a mushy green and pus squirts out
like whipping cream.
-- And I without my spoon but with a straw!
Did you ever think as a hearse drives by
That you may be the next to die
The wrap you up in a big white sheet
And throw you in six feet deep
The worms crawl in the worms crawl out
In your ears and out your snout
Your eyes fall out, your teeth decay
A rotten end to a lovely day
Oh never laugh when the hearse goes by
or you'll be the one who's next to die
They'll wrap you up in a bloody sheet
and bury you six feet deep
Worms crawl in and worms crawl out
Worms play pinochle on your snout
They'll put your guts on a piece of bread
and that's what you'll eat when you are dead!
Don't ever laugh as the hearse goes by
For you may be the next to die.
They put you in a big black box
then cover you up with dirt and rocks.
All goes well for about a week
and then your coffin begins to leak.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
The worms play Pinochle on your snout.
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose
They eat the jelly between your toes.
A big green worm with rolling eyes
crawls in your stomache and out your eyes.
Your stomach turns a slimy green
and puss pours out like whipping creme.
Spread it on a slice of bread,
that's what you eat when you are dead.
Did you ever see a hearse go by
And wonder what it's like to die?
I-ho, I-ho
I-ho, I-ho
How happy we shall be
Bum bum
They put you in a long black box
And then they cover you up with rocks.
I-ho, I-ho
I-ho, I-ho
How happy we shall be
Bum bum
The Worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
They eat your guts then spit them out.
I-ho, I-ho
I-ho, I-ho
How happy we shall be
Bum bum
And when your bones begin to rot
The worms are there but you are not.
I-ho, I-ho
I-ho, I-ho
How happy we shall be
Bum bum
The moral of this is very creative.
Don't get buried but be cremated.
I-ho, I-ho
I-ho, I-ho
How happy we shall be
Bum bum
Did you ever think when a hearse goes by,
That you may be the next to die?
They take you out to the family plot,
And there you wither, decay, and rot.
They wrap you up in a bloody sheet,
And then they bury you six-feet deep.
And all goes well for a week or two,
And then things start to happen to you.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
The ants play pinochle on your snout!
One of the worms that's not so shy,
Crawls in one ear and out one eye.
They call their friends and their friends' friends, too,
They'll make a horrid mess of you!
And then your blood turns yellow-green,
And oozes out like whipping cream.
[Spoken] Darn, me without a spoon!
Your eyes fall in, your teeth fall out,
Your liver turns to sauerkraut.
So never laugh when a hearse goes by,
For you may be the next to die.
