HLA Facebook Groups

[Anonymous]

Okay but you still arent considering that he might be telling the truth and truly has nothing to link up. Or that he did link up those five but none of them were made in the recent past. You still havent answered why you think he is guest posting.

[TheWho]

Okay but you still arent considering that he might be telling the truth and truly has nothing to link up. Or that he did link up those five but none of them were made in the recent past. You still havent answered why you think he is guest posting.

Doesnt matter what I think or what motivates him to post as a guest.  Going thru the simple process of having his posts linked together would settle it.  I think the larger question that goes unaswered is why he is avoiding having it done.  It is painless for him (unless he is lying) then I can see why he is avoiding all of this.  Can you think of another reason why he wouldnt want to have his posts linked together?  If the process has been done then I would have Psy just shoot off a message to Bruce saying all his guest posts have been attached to his user name RobertBruce as of such and such a date.

If he doesnt want to do it then I suggest he just be a man and come out and say it.

[Anonymous]

Right but what if he really doesn't have anything to link up? What if he hasnt been guest posting? I saw where he did ask Psy to link up his guest postings. Maybe just to prove the point? I'm not trying to be rude to you. I understand what you mean when you talk about adding a different perspective or balance to the forum. I think though in this instance that hes right when he says youre so focused on getting the one answer you want to hear that you wont consider any others. Even if theyre true.

[TheWho]

Well, Bruce indicated that he does have guest posts.  I am not looking for any specific answer.  Once his guest posts are strung together that action will provide the answer.  Bruce can say “See, thewho, I only had 5 guest posts in 4 years....”  or it may come out that he has 500 guest posts and has been leading us all on.  Myself,I had around 350 guest posts in 2 years when I had a user name and had them strung together.  As long as you are not ashamed of what you post then I dont see why someone would not want their posts attached to their name.  The more Bruce tries to avoid having his guest posts revealed the worse it looks for him.

[lacey'smom]

I have not posted on here in quite a while.  I am the mother of one of the "teens", who was at HLA for a very long time and at her encouragement, I have periodically read on the website and a long time ago, posted some thoughts.  I am saddened to see so much time wasted on accusations and banter that has nothing to do with addressing the sad state of options to parents with very dire parental situations, relating to their teens/family's health and well-being.  Like most parents involved in deeply troubled home circumstances, I was in desperate straights, when I had a adolescent attorney, at the advice of Children's Hospital in Washington D.C., help me wrest my daughter from a placement at RICA/Mark Twain(coincidentally, this is the same place that the male teen minority, known sexual predator, allowed to attend her middle school, who sexually harrassed her attended, that I had had to pay an attorney to force the Montgomery County Court to make the public school get him away from my daughter, so she had the right to go to school and attempt to get an education, without the predator in her proximity), in Rockville, MD.  The High School she attended fought me on services to assist her declining state of health, until they deemed her to be totally not serviceable and could refer her off to the highest level of public/mental incarceration.  For the past 40 years, I have had knowledge of and experience with family challenges and no different than back in the 60's, 70's and on, there is still more fighting and misunderstanding of defining the problem, than there is in any appropriate dialogue about solutions.  That goes for the institution, the parents, and the now adults, who endured placement at any "solution" that parents were "stuck" with in an attempt to address, what they felt was a "dire" circumstance.

My suggestion - parents truly want loving options, rather than fight about who is lying about stuff here, you seem like incredibly intelligent people, where are  your alternative solutions to the next set of parents that come along with life-threatening circumstances or legal ramifications, where they are being forced by society, to "do something"?

That is what I'd like to see......

[Anonymous]

it's called proper parenting. i know in great detail that you know nothing of the subject, so quit being such a hypocrite. If you just did your job right you would have never have had to choose between public corrections or private therapeutic boarding school. I love how parents who's kid's get in trouble always blame the "delinquency boogey-man" for their kid's problems, as if the problems stem from somewhere outside the family. It was all YOU. not your daughter, not the spoiled brat next door, marylin manson, or the drug dealer by the 7-11, it's all YOU. "Lacey" is a wonderful and very intelligent young woman, the only thing ever wrong with her were her problems stemming from a total lack of self esteem which was a direct result of her upbringing.

proper parenting prevents all the problems.

but, of course, in our suburban society full of dual working parents, babysitters, spoiled kids, high divorce rates, deeeeeruuuugssss, step-parents and skewed family values, i know it's quite difficult to be a good parent. NOT. you had a choice regrading your family's lifestyle, and you chose wrong. now your daughter has to live with the damage your mistakes have inflicted.  

what i propose as a solution is an enlightenment of this society's attitudes towards parents and delinquents - parents should be held accountable. if a kid messes up like your daughter, YOU go into a therapeutic "camp" with her where they correct your mistakes in both you and her.

[TheWho]

the only thing ever wrong with her were her problems stemming from a total lack of self esteem which was a direct result of her upbringing.

Who made this diagnosis?

proper parenting prevents all the problems.

Please cite your source.  I would like to see the study

but, of course, in our suburban society full of dual working parents, babysitters, spoiled kids, high divorce rates, deeeeeruuuugssss, step-parents and skewed family values, i know it's quite difficult to be a good parent. NOT. you had a choice regrading your family's lifestyle, and you chose wrong. now your daughter has to live with the damage your mistakes have inflicted.

The kid is the one that screwed up.  If the child had stayed in school and worked on being a member of the family then she/he could avoid any placement.

what i propose as a solution is an enlightenment of this society's attitudes towards parents and delinquents - parents should be held accountable. if a kid messes up like your daughter, YOU go into a therapeutic "camp" with her where they correct your mistakes in both you and her.

Why make the rest of the family suffer with loss of income.  All the other siblings are doing fine, going to school etc. why abandon them for the one kid who keeps screwing up?

[Anonymous]

it's called proper parenting. i know in great detail that you know nothing of the subject, so quit being such a hypocrite. If you just did your job right you would have never have had to choose between public corrections or private therapeutic boarding school. I love how parents who's kid's get in trouble always blame the "delinquency boogey-man" for their kid's problems, as if the problems stem from somewhere outside the family. It was all YOU. not your daughter, not the spoiled brat next door, marylin manson, or the drug dealer by the 7-11, it's all YOU. "Lacey" is a wonderful and very intelligent young woman, the only thing ever wrong with her were her problems stemming from a total lack of self esteem which was a direct result of her upbringing.

proper parenting prevents all the problems.

but, of course, in our suburban society full of dual working parents, babysitters, spoiled kids, high divorce rates, deeeeeruuuugssss, step-parents and skewed family values, i know it's quite difficult to be a good parent. NOT. you had a choice regrading your family's lifestyle, and you chose wrong. now your daughter has to live with the damage your mistakes have inflicted.  

what i propose as a solution is an enlightenment of this society's attitudes towards parents and delinquents - parents should be held accountable. if a kid messes up like your daughter, YOU go into a therapeutic "camp" with her where they correct your mistakes in both you and her.

Another imbecile has spoken.

[Troll Control]

the only thing ever wrong with her were her problems stemming from a total lack of self esteem which was a direct result of her upbringing.

Who made this diagnosis?

proper parenting prevents all the problems.

Please cite your source.  I would like to see the study

but, of course, in our suburban society full of dual working parents, babysitters, spoiled kids, high divorce rates, deeeeeruuuugssss, step-parents and skewed family values, i know it's quite difficult to be a good parent. NOT. you had a choice regrading your family's lifestyle, and you chose wrong. now your daughter has to live with the damage your mistakes have inflicted.

The kid is the one that screwed up.  If the child had stayed in school and worked on being a member of the family then she/he could avoid any placement.

what i propose as a solution is an enlightenment of this society's attitudes towards parents and delinquents - parents should be held accountable. if a kid messes up like your daughter, YOU go into a therapeutic "camp" with her where they correct your mistakes in both you and her.

Why make the rest of the family suffer with loss of income.  All the other siblings are doing fine, going to school etc. why abandon them for the one kid who keeps screwing up?

Wait a minute...  Is TheWho contradicting an HLA "counselor"?  Say it isn't so.  TheWho spends all day every day here defending HLA and the first time a "counselor" posts, TheWho flips on him/her?

Who, what do you have against HLA employees??

PG54couselor - What can you tell us about why HLA takes kids in, takes the parents money, isolates the kid from family but does all of that knowing the parent is the real problem?  Very interesting.  Why not refuse to take the kid???

[Troll Control]

The kid is the one that screwed up.

Look at TheWho squirm.  he wants desperately to blame the children, but even counselors at his beloved HLA say the parents are the problem.  TheWho's tiny little world just came unglued.

So, Whooter, are you saying that HLA counselors are liars and not fit to be in the business?  Love to hear your answer on this one.

[Anonymous]

It's not up to the counselors to determine admission, it was not our responsibility. I am not one of the two counselors in lacey's group, I only sat in on her peer group for a few sessions, but I have spoken to her mother on a few occasions and I know well enough about her family situation to make a judgement. we were just doing our jobs, which was to deal with the kids that were already there. telling the parent to take the kid back would have resulted in a huge fiasco, and also half the time the kids were not that much worse off at HLA compared to their home lives. I quit my job there a few months in as i had disagreements regarding your exact concerns.

[Troll Control]

Well bully for you.  I did the same almost 15 years ago.

In my experience, the vast majority of problems were indeed caused by the parents and not the kids.  It sounds like that held true for the duration.

Were you a "masters level" counselor?  What is your professional judgment on the efficacy of HLA's "treatment" model?

What types of abuse did you witness?  Kid-on-kid?  Staff-on-kid?  Can you tell us a bit about the relative safety of the campus considering the dearth of staff and the genuinely dangerous kids enrolled there?

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

the only thing ever wrong with her were her problems stemming from a total lack of self esteem which was a direct result of her upbringing.

Who made this diagnosis?

so medical diagnoses trump all experience? Anyone who knows her can make that observation. it's clear as daylight.
part of the reason i left HLA was because Len (buccelato) was insistant on counselors making diagnoses which result in greater parent satisfaction and therefore cash flow, not what the kid actually needs/has. whatever you think you know about your daughter based on what members of the HLA staff told you is absolutely dead wrong. They told you what you wanted to hear, not what you had to hear, and that's one of the core problems behind the social attitudes that result in a child being placed in a school like HLA.  

proper parenting prevents all the problems.

Please cite your source.  I would like to see the study

No need for sources or studies. There is 10,000 years of human experience and anecdotal evidence which surpasses the validity of any "scientific" study that can be conjured up.

but, of course, in our suburban society full of dual working parents, babysitters, spoiled kids, high divorce rates, deeeeeruuuugssss, step-parents and skewed family values, i know it's quite difficult to be a good parent. NOT. you had a choice regrading your family's lifestyle, and you chose wrong. now your daughter has to live with the damage your mistakes have inflicted.

The kid is the one that screwed up.  If the child had stayed in school and worked on being a member of the family then she/he could avoid any placement.

maybe if you made that child feel like a member of the family....the family could have avoided placement.

what i propose as a solution is an enlightenment of this society's attitudes towards parents and delinquents - parents should be held accountable. if a kid messes up like your daughter, YOU go into a therapeutic "camp" with her where they correct your mistakes in both you and her.

Why make the rest of the family suffer with loss of income.  All the other siblings are doing fine, going to school etc. why abandon them for the one kid who keeps screwing up?

So what  your saying is money is the most important thing in life, and everything else comes second? You already suffered a loss of income from placing your child in HLA's custody. and really, is income really that much higher a priority compared to your child's and family's mental health? hmmmm. Knowing you i'm truly not surprised. many parents of HLA students have the same attitude: "heres some money, now get them out of my hair and fix them while i go about my business".
 read what i said regarding your choice of lifestyle and attitude.
Furthermore, siblings are never treated equally and therefore do not come out equally. read the bible, maybe youll learn something... (cain+abel). do you really think genetics predispose someone to being sent away? NO! it's the way they are raised, and you fucked up royally in that department. Get your priorities straight.

[TheWho]

Wait a minute... Is TheWho contradicting an HLA "counselor"? Say it isn't so. TheWho spends all day every day here defending HLA and the first time a "counselor" posts, TheWho flips on him/her?

I guess thewho was telling the truth after all, he isnt here to defend HLA he is here to bring out the truth and add balance.

[Anonymous]

Well bully for you.  I did the same almost 15 years ago.

In my experience, the vast majority of problems were indeed caused by the parents and not the kids.  It sounds like that held true for the duration.

Were you a "masters level" counselor?  What is your professional judgment on the efficacy of HLA's "treatment" model?

What types of abuse did you witness?  Kid-on-kid?  Staff-on-kid?  Can you tell us a bit about the relative safety of the campus considering the dearth of staff and the genuinely dangerous kids enrolled there?

Thanks!

I was a master's level counselor. HLA is completely ineffective, abusive, and predisposes the kids towards negative attitudes, habits and lifestyles. In Theory, the place seems very attractive and effective. The execution of those theories/practices is completely off kilter. The school is run by socially conservative money-loving zealots who do not have the slightest clue what they are doing despite their good intentions. With the exception of a handful of bad "therapeutic" practices such as disclosures, the theraputic aspect of the program should theoretically be effective. the problem is everything else - power and money hungry staff, excessive and undeserved consequencing, the fall-out system, strip searches, excessive supervision and paranoia regarding safety concerning the "agreements", admissions, everything.