Families Post Program

[iamartsy]

Who here still has to deal with family members treating them like they are "stupid", "dumb" , or otherwise impaired since their release from program. I have a sister who is in "Landmark" or "The Forum", and she decided to remind me of that the other day. It was brought on because i would not stop and fix the wireless router where she is staying.

This brought forth other family members reminding me that I am "stupid". I have a truly lovely family. Can you see that they like cults? They cling to their every word and then use them when necessary. When not necessary they talk down to me to tell me of my full "potential".

I have been program free since 1986, except when the family tried to get me to attend Landmark for more "repair" in 1996. They thought it could help me in my career. I don't know how. I was quite outspoken and turned them down. Anyone who tries to sell me a load of crap that is not understandable can take that crap and shove it. My days of locked rooms, people telling me I am shit unless I act as they do, and being told when I can go to the bathroom are way over. I am not sure what to do with my family though. I love my mom, but the rest are questionable.

[Che Gookin]

Creepy how they lord their submission to a cult lifestyle over your head as if it is something to be proud of.

[Froderik]

My days of locked rooms, people telling me I am shit unless I act as they do, and being told when I can go to the bathroom are way over.

I hear you; you're preaching to choir, at least on this point. If you haven't already, check out this thread called "Taking Things Personally."

[iamartsy]

I just want to know how others deal with it. It still drives me insane everytime. I remember shortly after I got out AMA, my dad saying that he would always think of me as being "mentally ill", and nothing would ever change that. Sure enough when I graduated college, on graduation day, he reminded me of that. My mom sat there silently not knowing what to do. She is old school and does not intervene. He can be quite scary if provoked. Now they are in their 80's but he still thinks of me that way. She does not. She has had to whisper to me on the phone a few times today. It sucks. Thanks Che, they do cling to the cult thing. One sib is in Landmark, and one is in Al-Anon, the other is just a regular old redneck. He just likes to hassle me about being a lesbian now and again. With him, I just have to put him in his place, and we are friends again.

[Che Gookin]

the other is just a regular old redneck. He just likes to hassle me about being a lesbian now and again. With him, I just have to put him in his place, and we are friends again.

Heh.. sounds like a character.

Talking to my sister about my specific role in the programs wasn't an easy conversation to have. I think she was more concerned with my mental well being than anything. She wasn't horrified, repulsed, or angered at all. That made it alot easier to discuss and I'm grateful for her. Having the same convo with my Uncle was incredibly difficult. He is a pretty level headed person, but I can tell that after telling him what happened he was pretty upset by it.

He didn't let on if he was angry with me or the programs, but he was visibly angered. I suspect that he was angered with the programs more than me as our relationship hasn't changed after I told him what went down.

All in all it was far easier telling my family, the ones I cared enough about to talk to about it, what happened in the programs than it was for me telling them I was bisexual.

[iamartsy]

Considering I got put in the programs because I was gay. I would have to say that it was harder telling them that I was gay. Actually, the Landmark sister, she outed me. I was nowhere near ready to come out either. My family decided I needed psychiatric help for my being gay.

Yes, my brother is a character. His new gf keeps him in line. She is funny too. Very honest about her role. Che, are you still here in US. G.

[Che Gookin]

Nah homie.. I'm in China right now. Probably be here for another 6 months to a year. Decent teaching gig for the time being while I accrue enough credits to get into a teaching program back in the states.

Distance learning ftw and all that.

[Anonymous]

Considering I got put in the programs because I was gay. I would have to say that it was harder telling them that I was gay. Actually, the Landmark sister, she outed me. I was nowhere near ready to come out either. My family decided I needed psychiatric help for my being gay.

Yes, my brother is a character. His new gf keeps him in line. She is funny too. Very honest about her role. Che, are you still here in US. G.

loose the bad-dad. Just don't speak to him anymore. Your siblings, keep in touch. It's not their fault.
Tell the Mom to grow a pair. Set boundaries with her. How long where you in CEDU for, and when?