We adopted my son (and his sister) when he was 11 and she was 5. He lived with his birth mother, an addict until he was 7. He came to the attention of CYF after he threw a desk at his kindergarten teacher. They monitored the situation, offered his birth mother help and support, but when she left him alone with no food for 3 days with his 18 month old sister, they put them in foster care. The first foster family was great and our son and duaghter thrived there, but birth mom entered a treatment program that allowed her to have her kids with her and so they went. Our sone had to leave after he strangled a boy and trashed his room over a borrowed gameboy. The 2d foster home was not good, but when birht mom dropped out of the treatment center and back on crack, our daughter joined her brother there. Six months later they were with us. Our son is now 16, 6 foot and 180 pounds. The first 9 months he was with us we got 1-2 calls a week from the public special ed school he was in telling us about his violent episodes-tossing desks, throwing hot coffee at aids, punching other students, etc. His therapist, who had worked with him for 3 years, convinced us it wasn't Andrew it was the school environment. We moved him, but then the violence started at home, over the last 5 years he has broken furniture, ripped doors off their hinges, punched his father, come after me with a chair leg, brused his father's larynex after trying to choke him, punched out another boy at a basketball tournament, punched his best friend's father when he tried to stop him from hitting someone, threatened to kill all of us in our sleep and then kill himself, stolen from us and others, hit therapists, etc. He has been diagnosed with RAD, bi-polar and ODD. He is on meds, he has gone through a number of therapists and psychitrists, he has been hospitalized, we have gone through family therapy, he has been in state approved and regualted treatment centers that don't use restraints. Nothing has changed. We have been told not only by all the therapists and doctors, but even by our son, that we are not the cause of this, and that our rules and expectations are consistent and reasonable. Andrew says he agrees but he is angry, can't help himself, had a hard life before us and feels we should give him total freedom and supply him with all he desires to make up for that, etc. We are considering VisionQuest in Franklin PA, and we're told that while it does use wilderness therapy components, it is not a boot camp. We don't want a boot camp, we don't want our son abused, but we can't let him continue to abuse us and we want to keep him safe and out of jail and help him help himself. According to what I've read VisionQuest is JACHO approved, and has been studied by the Rand Corp and University of PA and found effective. So, if any of you have other information or suggestions please let me know.
